Adam Sloope

Rubber Ducky Ties and Resumes

2012-01-04T10:45:00.002-05:00

Resumes are like ties.

In a world where baggy khakis, wrinkled polo shirts, and Dockers are accepted as professional modus operandi I stick out like a sore thumb. I show up wearing my patterned shirts and knit ties and get stared down like a monkey is perched atop my dome; however, I don’t flinch and take the stares as compliments. In my love for fashion I don ties frequently and in my familiarity with these odd pieces of fabric do run across the occasional god-awful, breath taking tie that should never ever be worn. You know what I am talking about, the one with duckies on it or the holiday tie that lights up and sings. We all know the regular ugly tie offenders in our offices and hold our laughter inside out of professional courtesy. Resumes are like ties.

In a world where the tangible is at times seen as archaic it seems counter-intuitive that a piece of paper summarizing a person in one page or less is universally accepted. Everything is moving toward paperless and electronic, less and less in-hand documentation is needed. I was actually just discussing with my wife the other day how carrying around a piece of paper that you must make sure is new every 6 months in the glove department of your vehicle is silly. I often wonder when the big transition will take place with older mediums like insurance cards and resumes, but until then I will hesitantly participate. Ties are a good thing, they really make an outfit that is otherwise decent pop. It’s amazing what a little piece of silk or wool (depending on the season) can do for an entire look. In principle and theory a tie is nice and this is where the sentence should stop, however, this small piece of material can be and is often abused in such a way that it does the exact opposite of what it was intended to do. Resumes in theory are a good thing, although the method of expression seems outdated. The idea of reducing large things into easily digestible bits of information made easily accessible makes sense. The most encouraging thought of progression I’ve seen in quite some time regarding resumes came in the ideology of a Twesume. Basically it is a 140 character summary of you and what you’re looking for using the 140 character model of Twitter. As nice as that progressive thinking is, there still remains the problem a resume can cause.

Sometimes a resume can hide a person. Sometimes resume can be filled with 10 years of insurance industry experience, but hide the reality of a creative, high pressure environment loving, intuitive thinking, big picture understanding person with potential and raw talent best suited for anything but insurance. This is the dilemma I face daily. I started in insurance as a teenager fresh out of high school and have just progressed within this field since then. I’ve adapted and done quite well for myself, but my strengths would actually be used best in another area. How does 10 years of experience in insurance convey that message?

I’ve learned something encouraging in the past 7 months though. A resume truly doesn’t matter and is only a technicality if you are viewing the professional world holistically. People don’t hire resumes, people hire people. I’ll cover the connection of people over resumes in another post, but the general idea is that your resume is something that should be asked for as a technicality. You should be in a position where people want to hire you regardless of your past professional experiences summed up on a single piece of paper. This requires you to think more critically about your past. How can you use your past to expose your strengths in action? That is truly what your resume should be about. Your past experiences should be viewed as times when you could and did express the strengths you can use in whatever it is you are interested in. Can you find a trend or theme in your resume? Resumes can be real nice but like an ugly tie, sometimes they just get in the way of people taking you seriously. I’m not for not wearing ties, I just think ugly ones should be discarded, and the same rings true for resumes. The reality of resumes in the professional world isn’t going to change anytime soon, so how can you leverage your past experiences to help you shine moving forward or to persuade others of your abilities and strengths?

Dear Adam (an open letter about journey/process)

2012-01-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

This morning as I stood in the living room I felt the burden you have of making something happen in 2012, but I also know how hard you can be on yourself. In an attempt to stop you from allowing doubt and impatience to tear you down I thought it’d be wise to write you(me) a letter as a reminder of where we've been in 2011 so 2012 will look brighter when times seem dark.

05/18/2011

This is a date that should not be forgotten. This is a pivotal day in your life, one in which you decided to stop floating and put in the tough work of discovering yourself. You first exchanged emails with Barb on this date (Barb is a career counselor that I met to dig in deep on deciding a career choice based on data). Through personality and other platform tests Barb helped you discover your intuitive and most natural strengths and personality traits. Through this you discovered who you are and why you were, what made you tick. This was a great bottom line to discover because it helped you really understand why you were good at some things and not good at others. Often times people get confused and think they are incapable or not smart enough to do certain things when in reality the true focus should be on what they should be doing as an expression of their natural makeup. You now know your strengths and over the past 7 months have worked hard at trying to focus them.

Based on all this information the top three careers that people like you were successful and happy in were (in order) 1. Professional athlete 2. Marketing/Advertising 3. Mental Health Counseling. Marketing/Advertising ended up being what you chose to focus your strengths on and explore. Starting from scratch you researched and contacted as many advertising and marketing agencies as you could. Through that you have met a great number of good people, people who now know your story and what kind of journey you are on. You’ve networked and marketed yourself so well over the last 7 months that in a horrible economy, with zero experience, and no connections you have received 2 flattering job offers. Sure it is easy to get down about these opportunities not working out, but remember that these were people interested in you, enough so to desire you as an employee. Circumstances didn’t allow these to blossom into anything more than flattering offers, but you learned a lot from each and met great folks as well. It’s easy to get discouraged because you have not found the perfect opportunity yet, but you’ve accomplished much through marketing yourself the way you have. Keep up the work, and when you doubt read this, be reminded that you are doing the right things.

I’m not one to think I know it all or ever will, I just hope others can learn from my experience. I hope you may glean something from this open letter. If nothing more, I hope you can find the encouragement the future me will need throughout this journey. Stay strong friend and trust in yourself and the process, be patient, be grateful, and trust you do and will reap what you sow.

Your Dinner's Dad

2011-12-16T11:01:00.002-05:00

Be careful to manage your brand appropriately and concisely. Brand management is essential to personal and professional success. The biggest fear any business or individual may have is becoming irrelevant or unfavorable. Evading these ghastly outcomes is a culmination of how one manages their brand.

Determining what a brand is and how that term is relevant to individuals would be a great way to start. But instead I’ll start with your dinner’s dad, a Cow. Farmers brand their cows as a way to identify them. They take a hot iron twisted and manipulated into some form and sear the flesh of the cow. This is an easy way to encompass identity. This farming term has been translated into the business world as a way for an organization to establish their identity. Branding should not be limited to business and farming. Branding is essential to personal success as well. Professional and personal success may look a bit different, however, have a similar adversary. Individually and professionally becoming irrelevant or undesirable is the dark place no one wants to visit.

How does this happen, how does someone become irrelevant or unattractive to others? It begins by understanding branding and, that even if unintentional, you are a brand. Most often those who do not pay any attention to their brand become something they did not intend. I addressed personal responsibility for what we produce for others to experience in my last blog. To build upon that, once one accepts the responsibility for what they are putting out there they can then focus on the result they desire.

If you are trying to start your own business you should create a brand, separate from your personal identity. Your friends and loved ones support you, however, do not want to be bombarded with irrelevant content. This does not mean your content is not good or that you are bad in some way, it just means our culture is all about relevant content; we don’t like content that is not directly relevant to us. It is beneficial and more effective to focus on the brand you want to create. What message are you intending to sell? Who is your audience? What’s the desired outcome? By focusing on these questions you can be concise in your approach of promoting your brand. I made this suggestion to a good friend of mine recently. I am a friend of his on Facebook and am genuinely interested in what is happening in his life as an individual. I am not interested in mixed martial arts at all. The advice I offered was to create a separate Facebook page for his mixed martial arts hobby. This way he can post content that is relevant only to those who are interested in MMA. His audience is focused and message is clear. In branding it’s all about being concise and focused. You must be clear about your identity. Professionally and personally mismanaging your brand could turn you into content that is glossed over and not paid any attention to.

Cows are uniquely identified by their brand. It is important to farmers to clearly know where there cows are. We have the same responsibility for our own brand; we must be intentional in how we identify ourselves to others.

Judge That Book

2011-12-16T11:01:00.000-05:00

My entire life I’ve heard, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” My entire life I’ve nodded my head and smiled like a programmed robot. My entire life I’ve always felt uncomfortable with how this is universally accepted and applied carelessly. What I mean by that is I do not think a person should be judged by the color of their skin or any obvious superficial things that they have no control over, blue eyes, brown hair, etc. Furthermore and however (which I am enthused to use together because I’ve never seen it done) I do think books are judged by their covers and at times this age-old mantra should be thrown out the window. Again, and hopefully this will not be glossed over because I am saying it twice, I do not think anyone should be judged by exterior appearances they have no control over, like race, hair color, eye color, etc.

Every time I fly I have a tradition, one I’ve kept since I started flying solo, buying a new book. I am so involved and engaged in everything throughout my everyday life that I am always intentional and trying to grow and learn. So, when I get the chance to unplug and take some time off, while on my way, at the airport, I don’t allow myself to be so planned and on point. My long held tradition has been buying a random book based on its cover. I have found some grossly underachieving books and many deeply cherished paperbacks that I hold dear to my heart. Point here being, judging a book by its cover is something everyone does and at times it can be a good thing. The good and reality of judging a book by its cover is that one can trust in his or her intuition. Intuition and hatred are very different and can be easily identified. I think the liberal application of a well-intended mantra has done two things; 1, undermined trust in intuition and 2, created easy escape routes for personal responsibility.

Gut feelings can be accurate if held accountable by reality. Running around having feelings of grandiose outside the boundaries of your reality is not what I am talking about here. Gut feelings should be questioned with logical reasoning. While walking to your car at night in a dimly lit parking lot being followed by a man in a dark hoodie should give you a gut feeling that something is about to go down or that you could be in danger. Let’s hold that intuitive thought accountable with reality now. It is night and you are alone. The parking lot if not well lit and you are alone. This guy has been following you with his hood on for 2 blocks. It makes sense to feel uncomfortable. If any of these factors change, say it is the middle of the afternoon and you are walking downtown at lunch surrounded by thousands of people, then reality would squelch this gut feeling. If your gut feeling or intuition is contrary to reality then I say dismiss it. However, if you have an intuitive feeling about something that is supported by reality and reasoning then you should trust yourself. Not judging a book by its cover has minimized the importance of intuition. One should not feel wrong for having a gut reaction to something because they have this burden of not judging a book by its cover. If the cover has a picture of a vampire I doubt it contains content about accounting for stay at home moms. If something smells funny you don’t eat it, unless it is a delicious gourmet cheese, they always stink but man oh man are they pleasing to the palate. My point here is where you see smoke there is fire and if a situation adds up to make you feel a certain way and your reasoning is logical then you should trust your intuition.

Personal responsibility is avoided quite often, especially in social media because people think they shouldn’t be judged by their cover. It’s almost as if the “don’t judge a book by its cover” has been abused and is now a way for someone to say they are not what they express, but something different. Profile pictures, status updates, and tweets represent who you actually are. If an employer finds your Twitter account and begins to read your feed and discovers you are always degrading women you should not be surprised to not get hired. You can at no point say, oh that’s not really how I am and beg that they not be so quick to make a judgment about you. Unless you are bipolar or have multiple personality disorder then what you produce, whether it be tweets, status updates, comments made, art, etc., you are expressing what lies within you. Each of us (outside of race and genetically predetermined features of our “cover”) is responsible for our cover. What we represent ourselves as is our responsibility. I often tell young guys I play basketball to be careful about how they represent themselves online because employers and the rest of the world are watching and have access to these things. It’s easy to point the finger at the world for judging you, but any content that you produce is a direct representation of you and much like an apple tree you are identified by your fruit, what you produce. Judging is not bad, unless it is filled with hate or hypocrisy, we all judge, daily we make judgments based on what we experience. Escaping responsibility by asking people to not judge by what you produce is weak and delusional. We are responsible for what we produce and should be held accountable for that, individually.

The cover is the best short representation of what lies inside a book. Old parables reference agriculture to address this book cover ideology often. It’s a simple idea, apple trees produce apples. Pear trees do not and never will produce watermelons. A tree is identified by its fruit. This same principle applies to how we as individuals represent ourselves; our book covers if you will. This whole don’t judge me by what you see should be thrown to the wind and individuals should be held responsible for what they present to the world. Again, I clarify and want to be clear stereotypes or racism or any other kind of hate is not what I am talking about. Hate is bad, sound judgment is good and there is an obvious difference between the two. Making sound judgments on what you see is absolutely appropriate. What’s inappropriate and downright careless is to avoid personal responsibility by asking others to not consider the content you put forth. What cover are you putting forth? Does your cover represent what you’d like to be seen as?

Understanding Understanding

2011-12-15T09:40:00.000-05:00

There is peace in understanding. Where there is peace prosperity follows.

Isn’t much of life over complicated by our lack of seeking understanding rather than thirsting for precision? To clarify what may seem like cryptic rhetoric what I mean is we walk/run/float through life daily and most have experienced people trying to convert others to their way because they know what’s best. This leads to all sorts of conflict and damaging scars. Method A is the way to get there and it is my responsibility as an advocate for Method A to convince everyone of its and my validity. You see this kind of behavior and underlying thought processes in politics, religion, business, science, sports and a myriad of other subjects. The Republicans know what is right so the Democrats are clueless. Creationist seem foolish to evolutionist scientist. Chest passes are better and more accurate than behind the back passes. Christianity is the only way to enlightenment and all the other religions and zealots of the world are out rightly wrong. We live in an us vs them society. This is unhealthy and polarizing. As a society, personally and professionally, if we focused on understanding others more so than changing them we would flourish at anything we set our minds/efforts to.

Personally seeking to understand others rather than agree with them has a twofold benefit. First, the seeker automatically becomes a great conversationalist and immediately likeable. Carnegie’s classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People talks a ton about making people feel important by asking questions. If someone talks about themselves a lot in a conversation they walk away thinking you are a great conversationalist. If you don’t know what I am talking about because you have never read this book I suggest it highly as something that will change your life for the better. Secondly, any opinion you may have that could or would cause conflict is neutralized because you are no longer worried about being right, but are actually interested in understanding another’s’ opinion. Even if you disagree you understand, which is better than incongruity. At my core I am about certain principles and those principles are not going to be changed by anyone externally making an effort to do so. Any change an individual makes must be one they decide upon. This decision is made by understanding. Take the painfully interesting show Intervention. It gathers a substance addict and their family in a room to help the addict understand how their addiction is affecting everyone else. Have you ever tried to tell someone they will stop being addicted to a drug? It doesn’t work. The family explains to this person how they feel about all this. The addict can understand how his actions are hurting those he/she loves and is inspired to change. The decision is made by them and isn’t one forced upon them. It is not about telling the addict how bad they are hurting themselves or any other form of prescriptive banter, it is all about understanding. Political conversations/arguments could be a lot less volatile if individuals sought out to understand why another holds to a certain viewpoint. Often times I have found that by engaging in conversations where you seek understanding it becomes clear that the person actually doesn’t understand their own views. Sometimes seeking to understand someone else unveils their own lack of foundational knowledge to hold to such a belief (in whatever it is they believe). This miraculous unveiling inspires them to reconsider their position. Maybe they come to agree with you, but maybe they don’t, either way it is better that they and you understand the position even if it’s different. Understanding another helps you respect their position, even if you disagree. Imagine the great amount of peace that would abound if we all sought to understand each other.

Professionally seeking understanding makes you teachable, a good listener, and smarter. These three qualities alone set a person or their business apart. Professional “understanders” are in marketing. My particular world view and belief in seeking to understand others makes me a great fit for marketing and if you’ve been keeping up with me personally as of late you know that’s the path I’m aggressively pursuing. You have marketers and advertisers. I think these two often get used interchangeably which can be confusing. Marketing is seeking to understand a business’s needs or helping consumers understand your product/business. Advertisers seek to sell by tantalizing senses (generally speaking based off my experience). Advertising seeks to sell in the way that can be off putting. You need this, you’re not cool without this, we are better, etc. These are all prescriptive methods and much like arguing different opinions typically don’t have lasting outcomes. I will never ever buy a vehicle from anywhere but CarMax. This bold statement has to do with marketing vs advertising, understanding vs conversion. Pulling up to the dealers lot you often times get made to feel like a wounded animal surrounded by sharks ready to attack their prey as soon as you open that door. They go on and on about why you should buy here and NOW all the while making the customer feel uncomfortable and pressured. I’d imagine a lot of impulsive decisions are made on the stereotypical car dealer lot. You pull up to CarMax and are greeted and then assigned a sales person who basically just helps understand your needs, makes suggestions, and allows you to make an informed decision based off your needs, not their commission. It was easier purchasing our vehicle than it was our couches. CarMax gets marketing, CarMax gets understanding people. As a business when you can make your customer feel like you are interested in them and trying to understand their needs you automatically get a fan and potential client. No matter how good a product is if I am made to feel uncomfortable or like that company isn’t interested in meeting my needs then I am unlikely to patronize that establishment. Seeking to understand people is what business is about at the essence of any issue. Someone along the way understood a group of needs and saw they could make money by meeting that need, thus the birth of a profitable (hopefully) business.

Understanding cannot be overlooked or minimized. To succeed one must understand. Understanding brings peace and where there is peace prosperity follows. Do you seek to understand others personally? Do you seek to understand others professionally? Would people describe you as a person who truly is interested in understanding them?

Churchhill, Jesus, and Glee

2011-12-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

“If you’re not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you’re not a conservative at forty you have no brain.”

-Winston Churchill

Last night I had a very interesting conversation with a very wise man. No, it was not Winston Churchill because that would be really odd, being that he died over 40 years ago. We were discussing the possibility of deflation and the world economy. It culminated in a discussion of how the church has so strongly influenced the ideology behind some of our politics and even the economy as a whole. This morning a friend of mine laid down this sweet little ditty of a quote by Churchill on me which further goaded me to write and think more critically about this issue and the implications it carries.

Deflation is the new buzz word in the economist realm. The idea at its most basic level is that as more and more globalized competitors arise that the price at which the wealthy operate will have to decrease or cease to have income. A better stated definition and explanation can be found here. (http://economics.about.com/cs/inflation/a/deflation.htm). The supply of money goes down and the demand for other resources increases. These other resources are people. As the demand for supplies increase at the same time the economy is continuing to crash. So supplies are needed yet capital remains aloof. The answer to this problem is logical; continue to get supplies desired with less money. Outsourcing is no longer a theory, but an inescapable reality. Globalization and a world economy is truly putting our “American Dream” at risk. The days of making a good living for doing a certain profession are in there dying stages. No longer can an x-ray specialist in America charge outrageous fees. The demand to have these x-rays analyzed is not the issue though. The issue is found in globalization and a world economy. With the rise of educational institutions and the ease of access we are now seeing an unprecedented world-wide educated population. With technology and the internet anyone with the motivation and money can get online and get the same degree we get in America. So you have doctorates in India, where the cost of living is super low which does not necessitate a high income level, able to do the same job as an American for a third of the price. As the companies make less and less money they are looking for ways to create or maintain profit margins. It makes sense that a company would want to pay less for a product or service. If that same product or service can be offered at a fraction of the price and quite possibly be better quality then a sound decision is made. The opportunity or scary part, depending on how you chose to perceive challenges, of this reality is that trades and professions that can be reproduced for a lower cost will eventually have to operate at the same costs of their overseas competitors or be forced to settle for government support. Government support is funded by taxing those who make all the money. If those who make all the money no longer have the high income to tax in order to support these programs then how are they funded? Seems like some kind of sick cycle to me. I suppose this reasoning led Churchill to his famous quote. As a young person who doesn’t make much money it makes sense to tax those who do to support the have-nots and such. As the young person becomes the one getting taxed the ideology and passion becomes more practical and conservative. That makes perfect sense to me!

Tax the rich to support the poor. This is the way our government operates. My question is why and when did this mentality begin. This brings me to the church. This is not meant to say it is evil because obviously I am part of the church at a universal capacity. This is to point out what I think are the beginnings of a mislead thought process and theology deeply buried by years of practice. In his ministry Jesus is always talking about the poor and how we should treat them well. I think the direct application from Jesus speaking to a Jewish society to ours with no interpretation or translation of principle is dangerous though. God does have a huge heart for the oppressed, but it is what we define as oppressed or poor that leads us down a path with a dim future.

The Christmas special of Glee aired last night (13-Dec) and inspired me to finish this writing I started two years ago. Amazing how little things inspire you and connect old thoughts with new ones. I had 2 reactions to the episode initially. It was very ballsy of the directors to have one of the characters to read the Bible on the show. Not saying I was offended. I actually think that Christmas should be remembered for its original meaning and celebration. I am sure many will cover the religion and outrage over the reading of the Bible from this episode on the internet this morning so I’ll leave that to them. The second reaction I had was one of disappointment. This reaction reminded me of my thoughts on the economy, poverty, and what helping the poor looks like that I started 2 years ago. It is important to analyze our impulses. Our reactions to external factors or foreign environments are direct reflections of what lies deep in our mind and soul. In a touching move last night the Glee club met Ms Sylvester at a homeless shelter to give back. One of the many story lines in this episode was several characters reflecting upon the true meaning of Christmas in comparison to the consumerism they were experiencing. I think it is nice to give back and essential to the world spinning. I am moved to tackle this sensitive issue because every year I see this movement to give back to the poor and I am always left a little disappointed. Disappointed in the assumption and general definition of poor or oppressed. Yes, Jesus was all about the poor and oppressed, but that was in a very Jewish culture several thousand years ago. Many well-intentioned people feel burdened every year around Christmas time to give back to those less fortunate, which is always reduced and limited to homeless folks. I think it is very limiting to see homeless people in America, for the most part, as the only expression of poverty or oppression. Homeless in a thousand year old Jewish culture, oppressed in that same culture are very different from those categories in our culture. In my experience most on the streets of Indianapolis choose to be there. Maybe I’m a bad person, but when I hear these “sad” stories on radio and news stations about the amount of homeless people sleeping in 17 degree weather I kind of roll my eyes and don’t feel sorry. There is a winter contingency plan in place that demands any shelter make room for anyone when the temperature is under freezing. There is no such thing as a full shelter during the winter. I’ve spoken to many of the homeless in our city and asked why they do not use a shelter and a lot in my experience have just not wanted to deal with the rules.

Poor isn’t a problem that can be fixed with money. The government tries to throw money at poverty and we all see how successful these program are (note the sarcasm). Money is a tool to be used mismanagement of the tool is behavioral and psychological. Addressing the tool is a very shallow perspective. The tool isn’t the problem, the use is. Rather than being so concerned with helping someone one time with a tool handout wouldn’t it be so much better to teach them how to manage this tool? As Christmas season continues to build and emotions are tugged, it is of most importance that we consider our impulses before acting upon them. Is there anything wrong with showing up to make the poor smile? No. Is there anything wrong with serving people in a homeless shelter? No. Is there something wrong thinking that is the expression of poor in our society? Absolutely! As the kids ran around smiling and singing in that homeless shelter last night I could only think that the rest of America was being inspired to reproduce these expressions of giving to those less fortunate, remembering the poor like Jesus, and my heart sunk a little thinking of how many other great needs go unnoticed and unaddressed because of how poor has been traditionally defined in our culture. I challenge anyone considering giving back to truly reconsider their definition of poor, the poor Jesus addressed and had a heart for had much less to do with cash and more to do with cultural dilemmas. I applaud all who seek to be generous. I do not want to see generosity only lavished into one area when so many other needs exist. Furthermore, how does this sudden stroke of inspired generosity carry on into the next day, next week, next month, etc.?

Faith And/In Business

2011-12-07T09:39:00.000-05:00

I may have misled or confused many of my old friends. I may have somehow allowed some to think I’ve left my faith in order to focus more on business. I wrote my first blog on July 17, 2007. Between July of 2007 and today there is a noticeable difference in my content. If one were to take the time to read every post chronologically the maturation of a man would be seen. The content has changed most recently and my focus has been less on faith and more on business. The noticeable change in subject matter has caused some to question my faith, which is interesting to say the least. I decided to not pigeon whole myself into only writing about faith because then my network would be filled with only those interested in reading about faith. I did this intentionally because I am more than my faith. Actually I am my faith, but it expresses itself in many more valuable ways than only theological discussions or religious prescriptions. It all started innocently enough but through maturation I’ve learned that my earliest writings were full of you ought tos and things should be this way. I really thought I knew the answers and what was best for humanity in specific areas. The problem was my micro-level arrogance. What I mean by that is faith covers a large area and for the most part is broad in nature. It doesn’t touch specific issues like political affiliation, how to deal with being pregnant after a rape, or any other hot topic in a modern society. Most faith is ancient and originated in cultures much different than ours, cultures we really can’t imagine. This reality drove me to Bible College. I wanted to learn more about this ancient faith I said I believed in and held to so zealously. My favorite aspect of my time at a Bible College can be summed up in one word, context. I absolutely loved, and still do, studying the history of the text we were studying. Who wrote it, who was the audience, where was the author when they wrote or spoke this, was it intended for a person or persons, etc. These questions are essential in reading ancient texts. The danger is applying principles intended for someone else directly to yourself and I quickly found myself in this boat and unfortunately have said and written many things I’d now never write or say. Some saw this zeal as an asset and strength while others saw it as a downfall and flaw. The nuclear separation on sides and opinions is dramatic because we are all too busy seeking agreement and conformity. Faith has become such a hot button that I’ve stayed away from covering it at all.

My natural strengths and intuitive habits align me to best fit within the marketing area therefore I completely submerged myself in this arena. I’ve surrounded myself with books, Twitter accounts, Facebook pages, local business associations, and anything else that would connect me more into the marketing world. In doing so, I’ve focused solely on writing about that and my journey to wherever I am headed. I’ve applied the very same principle of pigeon holing myself into one area of subject matter again. My blog has evolved and changed so much that some would claim that my faith is not clear or that I am nebulous and elusive when it comes to really knowing my faith. I challenge this opinion and actually challenge my own thought process of creating a dichotomy of faith and business.

I’m not implying in any way that we should all adopt Tim Tebow’s outspokenness on faith issues. (Insert disclaimer, I don’t really care one way or another for Tebow personally because I don’t know him, I think he is a good player nonetheless) I personally think faith is deeply intimate and personal and is best and most appropriatley shared with deep relationships, unless out rightly questioned. If someone inquires to my faith or asks me specific questions I am not saying I should not answer, I am saying basically keep it to yourself unless you have the relationship to support such deep talks or are being asked directly. That’s to address one end of the prism, but I’m interested in addressing the other position as well. This position holds that one can successfully and should separate their faith from their business. This is an unhealthy and impossible separation. One’s faith is a personal belief in something. This effects and changes a person at their very core. The metaphor used mostly has to do with agriculture. Trees produce fruit depending on the type of tree they are. Apple trees produce apples, etc. You’re not going to get a pear off an apple tree. That’s simple, yet people forget that very same logic when considering professionalism. I think the major flaw in the professional world is that we hire people as if they are machines. We assume there is some internal switch our employees can turn on or off when they hit the office concerning their faith. This basic, unspoken, belief has us focus on things that are truly not the importance of how a business successfully operates. Success can be seen in revenue brought in or how effective a business operates within. This success is driven by what? Success is driven by people. Business is all about people at it’s very core. Someone sees a need and knows they can fill it, they charge money for that. It’s still about meeting people’s needs/desires at some level. We fill our walls with people but treat and interact as machines. In interviews no one asks how you treat people or view authority or how you have matured over the past several years, they ask how you can put a square block in a square hole. Most interviews don’t ask anything more of someone than answering the questions correctly. I recently met with a person who was actually interested in hearing about my experience with starting a church, what I learned, how I’ve grown, etc. They were interested in me, as a person, my faith, what makes me tick. This challenged my thinking that faith and business do not dance together well because honestly I cannot be me without it. Employers hire people who have faith and that faith dictates how they live. I’m not talking about someone’s faith that they verbalize, but one they actually believe based on their actions. Faith is deductive and one’s faith is about how one acts and can be traced back from there, not the other way around.

What I am saying here is that it is important that a person not attempt to separate their faith from their work because doing so makes them a machine. Employers should be interested in the person that will do the functions of the proposed job, not just how they can and will perform. Performance can be addressed and changed; a person at their core is much harder and less likely.

There is no separating a person’s faith from their business because how they do business is a direct reflection of what they are all about, so why not learn about what drives a person? Do you find yourself making this costly separation often?

Occupy What (Finale/Part 6)

2011-12-05T07:59:00.000-05:00

Final question in the series, enjoy!

Q&A with Camile Graves (Ryan Graves sister)- Occupy Oakland

6. Does Occupy have organizers with goals and strategies in mind?

That's a funny question, because we do have goals, but each person is different, just like each Occupy location is different. Oakland has local concerns, such as addressing police brutality, but we also share concerns about things like electoral reform and job creation with Occupy movements across the country and across the world. We all have different strategies too, but we often act in solidarity with each other. Oakland is currently organizing a mass day of action with a big march and a rally. We have other stuff in the works, and I think this stuff will get more sophisticated as time passes.

Occupy What? (Part 5)

2011-12-04T19:06:00.000-05:00

Greetings again, here is part 5 of 6 in my series of interview questions to two Occupy participants. I hope this has helped you get a little more information on this movement. Let me know what you think.

Q&A with Leeza Faziolo (Steven Cooley’s friend)- Occupy Indianapolis

5. How can your average citizen get involved?

I see constant polls about who supports the Occupy movement and who does not fluctuate every few days, which is an inappropriate style of media coverage; this is not a presidential election. And this may change even more as more lobbying firms and public relations firms are signed on to change public opinion. But I could care less whether the public casually supports the movement or not, I want the public to either be A PART of the movement or be against it. Our culture is changing as society is forcing us to look at these issues, and honestly, it’s time to pick a side. To me, this movement breathes similar to the civil rights movements and times in our history where we have protested race and gender issues. And when we became conscious of these issues, it became time to pick a side. Either you are okay with oppressing persons based on their race, or you were not. Either you are okay to oppress persons based on their gender or you’re not. Today, you are either okay with oppressing persons based on their class or you are not. It’s time to pick a side and choose where your values are. And the simplest thing anyone can do is to support the movement is to simply voice which side they are on. When anyone; co-workers, friends or family members make a snide comment, let them know where you stand.

Q&A with Camile Graves (Ryan Graves sister)- Occupy Oakland

5. Can you tell me more about your arrest? What were the charges against you? Did you have to stay in county jail at all? How did it come to getting arrested?

I was arrested because I just decided that I couldn't abandon the plaza. So I just sat down in the middle of this stage where we'd hold our assemblies, and these two guys came and sat next to me and started meditating. We sat there not speaking for several hours. The police came and surrounded us, and they asked each of us if we knew we were going to be arrested. I said I knew but that I didn't think what I was doing was illegal. It didn't happen all of a sudden. I actually watched the police loosen up and chatter for about two and a half hours before they started dismantling the camp and arresting people. I don't think they even wanted to arrest us, but they had to because we refused to move. I was held in custody at the county jail with seven other women for ten hours. We were charged with disorderly conduct, failure to disperse, and loitering.

Occupy What? (Part 4)

2011-12-03T08:00:00.001-05:00

Here we go again folks. Part 4 of 6 in my series of Q&A with Occupy participants, one form Oakland and another form Indianapolis. I found myself overwhelmed and annoyed at the amount of news coverage and how frequent the reports are with the Occupy movement so stopped paying attention all together. In an attempt to be a little educated I decided to interview two participants. I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me. Yes, if you have additional questions please let me know and I assure you they are more than willing to oblige.

Q&A with Leeza Faziolo (Steven Cooley’s friend)- Occupy Indianapolis

4. What challenge would you put out there for those who oppose the occupy movement?

I would challenge persons to ask themselves if they oppose the movement because they have a poor sense of self. Do they see members as jobless hippies or trendy hipsters and not wish to identify with that type of person. I would want them to ask if they oppose the movement because they are romantics or narcissists, idolizing the dream that one day they may be so exorbitantly successful that they would not want to answer to government themselves. I would want those on the cusp to ask if they feel unmotivated to pursue change because looking at change on this great of scale challenges their world view and concept of control making them feel impotent. I would ask confident and insightful people who stand in opposition to this movement and sincerely prescribe to a conservative agenda and the benefits they believe conservatism offers to our nation, to question whether or not the desire for a true representative democracy is really in opposition to those beliefs.

Q&A with Camile Graves (Ryan Graves sister)- Occupy Oakland

4. Tell me about your experience, has it been exciting, what type of things have you done, have you camped out, etc.

It's been very exciting! I've met a lot of people and heard a lot of interesting and touching stories! I've participated in marches and sat in on a lot of meetings where people circulate some really great ideas that will hopefully be acted upon soon. I haven't actually camped out because I don't have a tent, but I have stayed there overnight a few times just hanging out and chatting.

Personal Work Time

2011-12-02T21:47:00.000-05:00

$759,000,000 was lost by companies because of employees using the internet for personal reasons during work hours.

At first glance that is a horrifying loss of potential income. This morning I ran across this info-graphic about howmuch time is wasted by the average employee and how much money it was costingemployers to potentially be losing. Dramatic? Yes. Accurate? Maybe. Relevant? No. Simply providing data without diving deeper into the reasoning behind how the data came into existence seems a bit shallow at best. I’m more interested in approaching this cognitive path from the other end. One statistic is, “the average worker admits to frittering away 3 hours per 8 hour workday, not including lunch and a scheduled break.” Let’s do some math then, 8-3=5-1=4-:30(2*:15)=3:30/3.5. Instead of doing 8 hours of work the average worker admits to only doing 3.5 during “normal work hours.” So what is “normal” and why are those hours chosen? Is the logic that lead to these normal hours even applicable to our culture now?

These normal working hours are referred to as the Eight-Hour Day Movement. It all started because working conditions were unregulated in Britain during the Industrial Revolution when large factories were booming. It was a mechanism to limit abuse of laborers and children from working 10-16 hours a day. The International Workingmen’s Association took up the demand for an eight-hour day at its convention in Geneva in August 1866, declaring The legal limitation of the working day is a preliminary condition without which all further attempts at improvements and emancipation of the working class must prove abortive, and The Congress proposes eight hours as the legal limit of the working day. 1866 is where this all started. When this eight-hour day movement was being initiated it was to protect workers from being over worked in factories because they were production-based jobs. You could spend endless hours on an assembly line or in a factor, so it makes perfect sense that this was a logical and humane course of action. We don’t have many factory jobs anymore, we have moved on from the industrial stage and working looks a lot different today than it did even 20 years ago, especially different from 1866, 145 years ago. Is it not a bit odd that we still use a system suited from a 145 year old culture? I’m about progress and don’t think much can be made without challenging or at least intellectually considering current systems.

Considering how much the working culture has changed then it seems unrealistic to even expect someone to sit at a desk for 8 hours fully focused on one project or task. The idea of multi-tasking was foreign when the eight-hour work day was established. For a person to be unable to multitask at work now is a downfall. Multi-tasking is something asked about in interviews and is a quality highly sought after by recruiters. With the advancement of culture, most specifically, social media and how we communicate, there are so many tools out that we naturally multi-task, without being paid. We tweet, update status, post pictures, check-in, change our profile pics, and wonder who the mayor on FourSquare is all while waiting in line at the BMV. With the large amount of resources on the internet now, being on Facebook and Twitter actually may help a worker. I recently invited my boss to a business webinar I found on Twitter. I found this on twitter during normal working hours because I use this social media for work and personal use. I think that the separation of work and personal has become skewed because availability of resources at a non-stop frequency. I know that I am working this weekend to provide some coverage for a big storm that hit in California, but I also know that I am not going to stare at my laptop for 8 hours. When I see something that needs ot be done or can make something better I will do that, however, just sitting still because it’s what I’m supposed to so even when nothing is going on is something I think my culture struggles with often. Because we are a culture of constant communication via social media and multi-tasking focusing on only one thing at a time for only a set amount of time is counterintuitive and archaic. We are no longer in Britain in 1866, but still operate under a system built for that place/time. It’s obvious progress is needed in this area, but the challenge is what do these changes, that are so desperately needed, look like?

Professional Judgment

2011-12-02T14:28:00.000-05:00

My ears burn before my fast is broken, all before 8:00 a.m. most days Monday through Friday. I’ve played through almost every album I own in attempts to drown out sounds of the volatile collision of immovable objects and unchangeable people. Complaining, whining, moaning, groaning, call it what you please, but the reality most can experience in any office building across the world during business hours is employees expressing their extreme displeasure with something, or nothing in some cases, within their organization. I’ve previously written about how each day you choose how you interact with external stimuli and the ultimate responsibility for your good or bad day lies upon yourself. My focus now shifts to moving beyond just choosing what to think or feel and actually naturally accepting things more peacefully that our out of your control.

The interesting thing about comments I often hear or conversations (monologues really) I get drug into is that they all come from those in positions who do not have power or position to change anything. Never, not once, have I heard anyone consider that maybe they are wrong and instead of focusing on how wrong others, especially those above them, are aiming their energies on positioning themselves to get to a place where they have control over decisions directly. This is an entire topic of its own, but it is interesting that the worker bees always think the queen is not right, but obviously she is because she is the queen and has done something right to get there (in most cases). I digress, however, to return to the topic at hand, accepting that which you cannot control.

This has huge implications to your personal and professional life. I don’t think the personal and professional life can be separated however; no one can live a duplicitous life. Character revealed at work through a set of expressions is the same character that lives outside of work. Employees are people and people do work, so really, this is all about people. It happens in religion a lot too, intolerance and judgment, which is easy to call out, but I think judgment is the key factor behind behavior like those mentioned above. The complaining of how things could be better and all the other things said that just sound like I’m in an episode of Charlie Brown are direct expressions of some form of arrogance and judgment. What is judgment, in the context I am referring to? Judgment is when an individual values their own perspective above all else. Judgment is when an individual is convinced they are correct. It is only when one is convinced of their own superior opinion or method when others seem so little and invaluable. When someone does what an individual sees as correct or right because they are so convinced of their self it then becomes their dilemma and mission to change the dissimilar thought/opinion/method. When they fail in their mission they become frustrated because they cannot convince someone who is wrong of what is right, because in their mind, they have it figured out.

This loss of control is maddening and is what leads to early morning rants at work, persecution, judgment, nit picking, aggregation, etc. We end up behaving like the little snot nosed kid at the super market throwing a temper tamper over not getting the latest and greatest gadget they just have to have. I am suggesting that if we do not consider ourselves right and think we must win in one form or another then we can begin to accept what we cannot control. I cannot control anything but myself ultimately (and even that’s debatable) so why spend so much energy lamenting over things/people/work that we cannot control? I’d like to think most would agree with this on a personal level, but doubt many would see its relevance to the professional world. Professionally it matters because you see judgment causing havoc everywhere. Go to any happy hour atmosphere any day of the week and just watch and listen. Everyone is just complaining and gripping about this and that. Truth be told what they are really saying is, “I am right, they are dumb, why can’t they see that?” Wouldn’t things operate so much smoother in an office if people started just accepting things instead of judging? This is not to say suggestions on improvements shouldn’t be made, however, constructive input is much different from destructive banter. If professionals learned how to accept things and tried to get involved instead of taking a back seat and complaining wouldn’t we see more production and less wasted talents? Morale would sky rocket and efficiency would increase, all in all making that ever so cherished revenue boost.

I speak of “professionals” and “they” a lot here, but do not at any point want to imply I am not included. This is a daily challenge I take to work on. I bring this up because I can see the benefit it would and can provide employers and employees. But then again, maybe I should just accept that they don’t and keep it moving right? Do you have a tough time accepting? Would we be willing to candidly consider ourselves wrong, ever? Isn’t acceptance better than arrogance and judgment?

Occupy What? (Part 3)

2011-12-02T14:17:00.000-05:00

Day 3, and only 3 more to go, but here are two more questions and answers, one from an Occupy Oakland participant and one from an Occupy Indianapolis participant. This series has been an attempt to clear the air for those of us that have lost interest and no longer give our attention to the news coverage of the Occupy movement due to being overwhelmed and burned out by the frequency at which they report. I hope this is helpful and as always please let me know if you have any additional question as both ladies are kind enough to take on more. Read on.

Q&A with Leeza Faziolo (Steven Cooley’s friend)- Occupy Indianapolis

3. Is this Occupy movement the next gen tea party?

The tea party participants and occupiers are upset about many of the same problems. I love to hear stories where occupiers and tea party participants come together to share in a respectful dialogue and focus on their similarities. However, conflicting ideologies may not ever allow liberals and conservatives to see eye to eye, but I would encourage conservatives and everyone really to pick out parts of the movement they support. I don’t like to see this movement as the Occupy vs. the Tea Party, because this is not about officials, about the left or the right. It’s about the fact that our government is bought out and our voices are not being heard. So if these voices want to say liberal, conservative or a third party, it is really irrelevant because our official’s operate in a system where they have to do whatever the person with the most money tells them to do, it becomes confusing when that person happens to support a conservative agenda and now it looks like a left and right issue again. But it’s not supposed to be about that. This is another stand most cities support, that we do not affiliate with any party. Our agenda is not to get a person in office, but rather just change how the office operates, change the system which right now isn’t working.

Q&A with Camile Graves (Ryan Graves sister)- Occupy Oakland

3. What has been your involvement with Occupy?

I'm on several committees, most notably the media committee. We're still a very new movement, but we're building infrastructure. The media committee mostly fields interviews from outside media, does our social networking, captures footage of events and General Assemblies, and we just started a blog.

Occupy What? (Part 2)

2011-12-01T13:45:00.000-05:00

In continuation of this series of questions that will hopefully clear some questions I have had about this Occupy movement you’ll find below two more Q&A from a couple of young ladies I had the good fortune of interviewing. They are very kind and open to additional questions if you can think of any. Again, I am looking to help those of us who have become tired of the news coverage and stopped paying attention come to a better understanding of Occupy from an internal perspective. Enjoy.

Q&A with Leeza Faziolo (Steven Cooley’s friend)- Occupy Indianapolis

2. What are simple facts people should know that are no longer keeping up with the media coverage?

I understand being exhausted by the media, our style of reporting in the U. S. can make you feel that way. But this is pretty important stuff, I would ask people not to let the circus reporting aggravate you, but to seek the truth and you will find it. A good place to start is occupywallst.org. Some facts to know about the movement; There are calls to action, look out for these and participate however you can. Bank Transfer day sent a message to banks who acted unethically during the housing crisis, and now they stand to lose an astronomical amount of money in city contracts where citizens are pressuring cities and businesses to keep their money out of these banks. Something to know is that Clark Lytle Geduldig & Crandford proposed lobbying efforts to undermine the movement to prevent this feared loss of bank transfers.

Are the different city movements different in goals? My understanding is that the movements all stand in solidarity with Occupy Wall Street though some may wish to show their solidarity in different ways. Growing fear of police brutality has caused some members of the movement to opt out of an occupation and replace it simply with working groups, calls to action and marches. Indianapolis is one city where members are still figuring out how they wish to show their support. For the most part all support the notion of non-violence, though many are not against civil disobedience (I.e. illegal camping). All choose to stand as leaderless movements and adhere to the process of general assemblies.

Q&A with Camile Graves (Ryan Graves sister)- Occupy Oakland

2. For those who have gotten lost in all the media coverage of Occupy movements, can you give us an idea of what the gist of all this is about. Are there specific items being protested or more of a ideological/system issue? What's a brief description of what Occupy is all about?

In a broad sense, Occupy to me is about giving a voice to the voiceless. For too long middle- and lower-class Americans have seen their participation in politics dwindle at the same time that corporations gain more and more power and politicians have less and less accountability. Big bankers and businesses caused the economy to collapse, and yet they were bailed out without there being any consequences for what they'd done. No new regulations, no new government oversight. Unemployment is still high, but these businesses we bailed out still won't create new jobs in America. They say they can't afford it, yet CEO pay has increased since the beginning of the recession. In addition, last year the Supreme Court ruled that a corporation can donate as much money as it wants to a political campaign, which makes elections completely unbalanced. There are also few restrictions on corporate lobbying, so you get a revolving door of lawmakers turned lobbyists and vice versa. All of this means that the interests of companies with a lot of money are more important than the basic needs and rights of ordinary people. It's about more than jobs, adequate wages, pensions, and things like that. It's also about transparency and safety. American businesses are exploiting the third world, and they're exploiting us, too.

Business Hipsters

2011-11-30T10:04:00.001-05:00

Are the communication agency folks the business world hipsters?

I think I’ve found my niche, my groove, the area where my strengths focused would be used most effectively and constructively used. That place is in advertising and marketing, yes, I realize that is a super broad umbrella. What I mean is that based on what I’ve learned and am learning about myself my strengths are best used to connect people with stuff that will help them, specifically help them succeed. I’m meeting tons of new exciting people and am eager to learn and get into this arena soon. I was talking with a buddy of mine and he says that recently he met with a client who thanked him for dressing appropriatley. This is funny because it truly is not what you think, in actuality it is more the inverse. He was thanked for dressing appropriatley, so what was he wearing, how was he being appropriate? He was wearing a pair of jeans, some chucks, and a casual button up shirt. This person met with a guy earlier that showed up in a suit and tie, which is apparently inappropriate. This is a humorous paradigm shift in the business world. I think we all have different styles based on our upbringing and personality types. I’m young and I’m pretty hip, at least the man in the mirror says so. In spite of this I also enjoy good fashion, GQ and Esquire are my “under bibles” so I’d prefer a nice suite to jeans, a deep-v, and some chucks. There is nothing wrong with either to me and I wear both at times. Professionally I was always taught to dress for where you want to be. That melded together with my sense of style I often find myself at work in suits, vests, ties, and awesomely loud dress socks.

With all that said, I now find myself in an odd position. I like dressing up, I like looking nice, but I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot when meeting with agency type people. At the same time, just like I refuse to wear skinny jeans and vans while riding around my fixed-gear bike, I’m not sure I’d ever show up to anything professionally looking the new business hipster style. Sure, I’ve got a sleeve of tattoos, grow one mean 5 o’clock shadow, love v-necks, rock retro plaid shirts, and all in all have all the essentials to pull off the “appropriate” look. My dilemma lies in the irony of being appropriate or dressing the part within the agency world. Advertising/marketing is all about creativity and brand management right? Is it not more than ironic that there is a homogenous type of appropriate dress then? I’d like to go on the record here and formally request that we all be a little open and stop stereotyping what is or is not appropriate. There are my 2 cents on a random thought.

Occupy What?

2011-11-30T09:01:00.000-05:00

We are all creatures of habit, at some capacity. NPR is the soundtrack for my morning commute. After numbing my mind a bit by pulling my morning reports at work I find my solace in reading international, national, and local news. I’ve come accustomed to seeing any and everything Occupy as a headline. In fact, it has become common practice to capitalize Occupy as it is no longer a verb, but has evolved into proper noun. Heck, even Miley Cyrus and Occupy made newsrecently! Being transparent, I must admit that my eyes gloss over a bit every time I see an Occupy story because the media is reporting so much that it is overwhelming. Frequency breeds inattention in this case for sure. Rather than allow myself to hold onto any opinions I may have without treading through the vehement seas of the news media I decided to reach out to those actually involved to get there thoughts on a couple questions that I thought would be helpful to me and maybe even others. I had the good fortune of meeting two ladies involved in different Occupy camps, one Oakland and the other Indianapolis. Camile Graves is involved in the Occupy Oakland movement and most recently had her pretty picture taken by the media after being arrested. I was excited to get to hear from her after her brother and my good friend, Ryan Graves gave me her contact info. Leeza Faziolo was referred to me by a mutual friend (and great musician), Steven Cooley and she is involved in the Occupy Indianapolis camp. I’ll be posting a question and answer from both these ladies for the next 5 days on my blog in hopes to offer some clarity for those of us fed up with trying to drink water out of a firehouse when it comes to the news coverage of Occupy. Please feel free to comment and send some additional questions as they have both expressed interest and been kind enough to take on additional questions. Enjoy!

Question 1 (Occupy Indianapolis/Oakland):

Q&A with Leeza Faziolo (Steven Cooley’s friend)- Occupy Indianapolis

1. What is the ultimate measure of success the Occupy Movement would achieve? If it could achieve everything it wants what would that look like? Is there an ultimate goal?

First off, I can only speak for myself; I am not a spokesperson. But in my own words I believe this movement is very insightful and we understand we are in our infancy. We’re coming together to say something is terribly wrong in our country. Some have specific suggestions for how it can be made right, but for the most part people are not giving out concrete demands because the truth is were figuring it out, together, which is in essence the true spirit of democracy. I have heard members argue this is not a protest, but rather, a process. The movement is still evolving and when the time comes for the specifics they will be known. To draw a picture of what things will look like is a bit premature. I see the end result as the ceasing of oppression and marginalization of our people. The end result would be a change of the system which favors the hegemonic class. I would like to see corporations pay their fair share of taxes and hold them better accountable, for banks to be better regulated and a drastic change in how lobbying is done in our country. I can’t say what the ultimate measure of success will be, but if the movement were to cease in this instant, it has already been wildly successful. Awareness has been raised into the gross inequality in our country and the disappearing middle class, and citizens have joined together in working groups to set up medical tents, to feed and shelter our homeless, provide legal groups to teach citizens their rights, education groups to keep the public informed etc. That is the success has looked like thus far in the Occupy Wall Street movement. Not to mention the social responsibility individuals have taken on with this new found knowledge.

Q&A with Camile Graves (Ryan Graves sister)- Occupy Oakland

1. You were involved in Occupy Oakland right?

Yup, I've been involved with Occupy Oakland for almost a month now. At first I was skeptical, but I went to the camp out of curiosity and was surprised to find a lot of really friendly, passionate people. I was also really impressed by the voting and consensus process, which is our way of getting everyone's input on planning and organizing events and directions the movement should take.

TV Vampires & a Little Blue Bird

2011-11-29T11:10:00.000-05:00

“You hear that swoosh, that was what you just said going right over my head,” a friend of mine laments after I give him a brief summary of twitter and some simple reasons for him to join. I’m still laughing a little about how our conversation ended though, this was all done via an instant messaging program, after I explained what a hashtag was, “#imallconfusedandshit”

I can sympathize with his plight here. He is about 8 years older than me so I can understand him not wanting to adjust to the change or even having a hard time if he wanted to. I was driving a couple of guys I play basketball with downtown yesterday to play at NIFS (facility on campus of IUPUI in Indianapolis). Side note, it was amazing to play on the old Market Square Arena floor (old NBA Indiana Pacers floor), man are those NBA floors long. I realize my age when I am surrounded by younger guys, in basketball and in other areas. Specifically I find myself saying, “Oh yea, I have that CD,” when having conversations about new music. Truth told I don’t have any CDs, but because that’s my era I think music, I think CD, which causes them to laugh at me. Adjusting to change, especially as you grow up and mature is difficult, but necessary at some point, if you desire to stay relevant. Some are ok with fading into irrelevancy, like my grandma (Nana) who doesn’t even know how to turn on a computer, much less use one. If you’re not looking to be like Nana, then you may want to at least understand the logic of twitter because I believe it will and is changing marketing/advertising all together, which will eventually take over television.

I’m sure I’m not smart enough to be the first person to think of this idea, but in an effort to not extinguish my cognitive juices here I didn’t bother to even look. The big idea is how the general feel of twitter will be what television looks like soon, in my opinion at least. I had huge gripes about twitter and rigid views about not joining. I never wanted to be able to say I was tweeting. I suppose my standoff with this social media giant had more to do with what I didn’t like more than what I understood, which I suppose is true of most people my age and older. I don’t care what celebrities are doing or how standing in line at Wal-Mart is annoying to you. I don’t care that you are eating at McDonalds or that you are wearing a retro pair of Jordan’s. I don’t care for that kind of tweeting because it seems to add no value to me, which, let’s be honest, we are all looking for things that are of value or add value to ourselves. That’s human nature and everyone is about themselves (not saying selfishness), so unless you’re a robot or vampire, the truth remains, we are all looking for things relevant to us.

Since we want to see only things relevant to us in times past we simply muted the TV during commercials, walked away, or turned the channel, in spite of the “don’t change that channel!” charge. With Twitter users are given the capability to control what content is coming their way. I don’t have to read any famous socialite heiress rant about her latest meaningless (to me) ventures or be concerned with what Tommy from Boston likes on his gyro. I try to tell people my age that Twitter really has been a great tool to filter the information I read, and brag about not ever having to go out and get the news because it comes to me. I like Twitter now, even in spite of my wife’s slight poking fun at me, it’s been a useful tool for me. I’ve been able to meet quite a bit of great folks that are relevant to me on many levels. Again, the logic is pretty simple and understanding that logic has been helpful venturing into the Twitter world. The logic is that users dictate what content they see. This same logic can and will or should apply directly to television.

My wife and I record all shows we watch. We never watch live television. We don’t want to deal with the commercials so it is easier and more fun to just record and fast forward. If we don’t record it or are into shows the other may not be into we watch Hulu which limits the interruptions with very short commercials. I think a merger of the internet, television, and Twitter could change the way anyone experiences shows all together. If every user had to create an account to watch this said new-fangled television then the commercials could be only applicable to those interests selected with each users’ profile/account. I’d never have to watch a woman in all white run down a beach to promote a tampon again, of course because my profile would say I am a male and like sports. Maybe it’d be different if I was watching a show with my wife and it somehow would fuse our profiles together to make a mutually relevant commercial selection, but generally speaking commercials would only be relevant to the user watching. All in all that is my 2 cents on all this social media and a possible direction of change for a familiar form of entertainment. Maybe one day you’ll be like me and instead of bragging about your newest CD you bought (which is actually a mp3/4 album downloaded) you’ll talk about changing channels to which your children will scowl and laugh at. Cheers to progress, at least I hope so, because it’s always nice to say, “I told you so.”

McQueary Milgram and Nazis

2011-11-21T13:21:00.000-05:00

"The social psychology of this century reveals a major lesson: often it is not so much the kind of person a man is as the kind of situation in which he finds himself that determines how he will act." –Stanley Milgram, 1974

The Penn State controversy has taken off and media coverage is rampant. Everyone has an opinion, passionate response, and reason why things would be different if it were them involved. I’m dissatisfied and somewhat troubled at what I read and hear, as I have yet to see a certain perspective discussed. I’ll go ahead and call this the McQueary Angle.

Who is Mike McQueary? Mike McQueary is at the center of this whole Penn State Scandal involving a very sick man, Jerry Sandusky. By all counts Sandusky is and always will be a pedophile. Some psychologists hold to the opinion that there is no help or cure for pedophilia because they will continue with the abuse. Everyone and their mom is covering the story from the pedophilia point of view so if you’re interested in that or more information on it, there are tons of resources out there and plenty of news coverage. McQueary was identified as the key witness in the ongoing Penn State sex scandal. Grand jury testimony alleged McQueary reported to head coach Joe Paterno of witnessing Sandusky raping a 10 year old boy in a campus locker room; McQueary first told his father about the incident, then the next day informed Paterno, and then ten days later informed other university officials. According to investigators, McQueary did what he was legally required to do, and was not implicated in any wrongdoing. He was criticized for not intervening to protect the boy from Sandusky, as well as for not reporting the incident to police himself. McQueary later said he made sure the observed assault stopped before leaving, and that he discussed the incident with police; Penn State and State College police say they have no record of it. Days prior, Pennsylvania governor Tom Corbett, who as state attorney general opened the grand jury investigation, said that McQueary "met the minimum obligation in reporting it up, but did not in my opinion meet a moral obligation that all of us would have (Wikipedia).”

The largest majority of the general populace has critiqued McQueary for not doing enough, understandably so. My angle here is considering why McQueary did or did not do certain things and my challenge, which will be met with some volatile self-righteous disagreement, is, aren’t we all Mike McQueary? Stanley Milgram would undoubtedly agree, yes, or at least say we all have the innate capacity to do so. After much research I would agree with the words of Dr. Greg Sipes, “Any or at least the vast majority of us would have done the same thing as he did if we we're in the culture he was in. There is a lot of self-righteousness in the air right now; especially as it relates to this young man. Maybe the older guys with the power should have spoken up but the younger guys had a lot to lose and were in a culture of authority and power to which they conformed.” Now, before you go crossing your arms and locking yourself in a self-assured chamber of self-righteousness declaring you would have not cared and done the right thing, listen to the data and dare I say try to empathize a bit. Empathy does not justify, it simply dilutes self-righteousness. I do not condone nor support any of Mike McQueary’s actions or inactions, much like I still hold a passionate disdain for the actions of the Nazis. This experiment done by Milgram simply exposes that people who do awful things sometimes do them under authority even if those actions fly in the face of their own morality. The experiments began in July 1961. Milgram devised his psychological study to answer the question: "Was it that Eichmann and his accomplices in the Holocaust had mutual intent, in at least with regard to the goals of the Holocaust?" In other words, "Was there a mutual sense of morality among those involved?" Milgram's testing suggested that it could have been that the millions of accomplices were merely following orders, despite violating their deepest moral beliefs. The experiments have been repeated many times, with consistent results within societies, but different percentages across the globe. The experiments were also controversial, and considered by some scientists to be unethical or psychologically abusive, motivating more thorough review boards for the use of human subjects (Wikipedia). I watched a TV program several years ago about the Holocaust that focused its attention to the Nazi soldiers and their personal life. It read through journals, looked at old photographs, and learned that many were family men who valued similar things that their victims did. It is easy to see these people as monsters; their actions were monstrous, when in actuality they were the majority revealed by Milgram’s experiment. For more information on Milgram’s Experiment please go to any of the below referenced sites. Also, here is a video referencing theexperiment.

Allegedly McQueary witnessed Sandusky raping a 10 year-old boy in the locker room, but failed morally and ethically to act appropriatley. This caused great controversy and judgment by the general public. Why though, why did he not act appropriatley? I asked local behavioral psychologist of Indiana Health Group Dr. GregSipes a couple questions in regards to this idea.

Q: As this Penn State drama unfolds there is a perspective I believe that is being overlooked and not addressed as it should be. Those who witness the offenses and either do not report it, turn a blind eye, or help in the cover up, how and why do they end up in the positions they are in?

A: It's the culture of power, big money and absolute, unquestioned authority. See Milgram experiments

Q: Why do people not report offenses like the Sandusky deal?

A: In a few words, too much to lose. The culture is to, at all costs, protect the program/culture.

Q: We all tell ourselves we would have done differently, what would be your response to those who say this?

A: It's easy to sit in judgment when you're an outsider. But think about this. This kid, Mike McQueary, is a big kid, a former starting quarterback at Penn State. Certainly not a wimp. But for some very powerful reason he was unable to confront this obvious atrocity. Of course many German's participated in the killing of 6 million Jews. I think rather than be critical we ought to remember what Milgram taught us in the wake of WWII when the world was up in arms about the compliance of so many Germans. He showed that, with the right social conditions, People will do what they don't believe is right (in their heart) because they apparently believe they have too much to lose.

This issue is large, too large to fit your arms around in one sitting and something that should be reflected upon regularly. As we watch these unfortunate circumstances unfold I believe it is most important to be sympathetic to the victims, but also, not to be so quick to judge and sit in self-righteousness of those who did not report what they saw because evidence strongly points to the reality that if put in the same position we’d do the same thing. Have you ever succumb to the pressure of authority or fear of losing something and done something or not done something that you’d normally do or not do? If you were McQueary and walked in on Sandusky and were faced with the challenge what would you do? Lose all you’ve worked for and tarnish a national treasure of college football (at the time at least)? What makes us any better than empirical data and ugly history? Given the right set of circumstances aren't we all the McQueary kid?

References

About.com- http://psychology.about.com/od/historyofpsychology/a/milgram.htm
Berkeley University- http://cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7article/article35.htm
Wikipedia1- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cover-up
Wikipedia2- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_McQueary
Wikipedia3- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment
Dr. GregSipes

The Box

2011-11-21T08:38:00.000-05:00

What box?! This was my response, always said with a tone of disdain, to the inevitable charge from others to think outside the box. What box are they referring to? Is this box a mystery or myth, why is it so bad, and where are its boundaries? I don’t like boxes much and have never understood the old adage and prescription to think outside of the box.

If you are anywhere close to my age you remember the Goth stage many teenagers decided to go through. Teenage life is all about creating identity so naturally they push against structure. It makes sense that teenagers do all sorts of things no one else understands as logical all in the effort to form their own identity. When I was in high school there was this ironic group of young folks who were Goth. Dressed in all dark colors, pants with enough zippers to cause much intrigue about what’s in all those pockets anyways, heavy eye liner, died black hair, Marilyn Manson and Misfits t-shirts, and maybe even the occasional trench coat. There is nothing intrinsically inerrant with this group; I have always been enamored by their plight to form a unique identity by homogenous means. What I mean by homogenous means is that by seeking this identity of being unique and not main stream they created a group that was all the same, everyone looked the same, yet maintained they were unique. Thinking outside the box is the Goth kid of the intellectual world.

The intent behind thinking outside the box declarations is pure, yet misguided. The quintessential issue at hand here is creativity. Creative minds are much like the elusive wascally wabbit Fud always chased around, admittedly, much to our entertainment. There is a rich back story here involving brain science and psychology that involves right-brain left-brain thinking. I invite you to investigate this fascinating topic for yourself, but in general right-brain thinkers are the creative types and left-brain thinkers are more of the task oriented types. Again, that reductive summary is like covering world economics within 30 seconds, a nod to Newt and his war on moderators, so understand that there is much more than what I offer on the subject that should be understood. I’d suggest A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink as a fascinating read further on the matter. Right-brainers are the future; creativity and individuality are what will take us into the next tier of innovation locally and globally.

The box is basically a trend of intellect and, much like clothing trends, changes often. Creative thinkers are constantly confused by this outside the box thinking rhetoric because in their (our) minds there are no boundaries to creativity, thus shapes with 4 symmetrical sides don’t make sense. When an energetic leader tries to inspire out of the box thinking their effort is often wasted because they are giving this charge to a mixed bag of minds. Some are naturally creative, others want to be creative, and yet others just lack creativity all together. This box they request people to think outside of is truly just a reference to the creative trend at the time. Thinking outside of the box truly means going beyond traditional ideas that have been made into modus operandi which goes against creativity in the first place. You cannot standardize creativity and to do so quenches its fire and power. Thinking outside the box beckons mediocrity because you are simply requesting non-creative minds to take a creative idea placed forward by someone else and standardize it. This new, ground-breaking idea only serves as the next box to be thought outside of. We are constantly chasing our tales with outside the box challenges being brought to the table. Instead of urging people to think outside of some box, why not discover who your creative types are, discover the intellectual capacity you have at your disposal, and lead the charge by empowering strengths instead of asking too much of some while frustrating others with foreign thought processes. This thinking out of the box jazz has to go, while I understand its intent, it’s misguided at best. It’s more challenging to discover what type of mind you have naturally and even more stimulating to develop your naturally underdeveloped hemisphere (which is possible as a side note, try painting, learning a new language, or journaling).

Next time you’re told to think outside of the box, appeal for clarity and seek to become creative yourself. The more creative we become the farther we’ll progress, progress so far that maybe even one day this old charge to think outside of the box will reduced to a silly idiom, like when an elderly person exclaims, “Heavens to Betsy!”

Value

2011-11-21T08:19:00.001-05:00

Business is all about ROI (return on investment). The backbone of anything that calls itself a business is the general principle of investing something and getting a return back on that investment. That investment could be time, talent, a product, etc, but whatever that investment is if it isn’t returning some kind of value to the investor then it is a bad deal. In a small business especially, if you are not bringing in money, you need to be moving it around to all the right places. Ultimately you, as an individual, need to manage the type of value you are within an organization. The size of that organization has a direct impact on how often you see or feel the influence that value has. The challenge then becomes your reflection and ownership of your value.

Adding value is important in business. From a dull and harsh perspective if you don’t add value there is no need for an organization to invest in you, meaning your position. This creates an uncomfortable fear of keeping your job. As I’ve talked with people I get the feeling that there is an unspoken group who find themselves in this uncomfortable position of feeling like they don’t add value. When a bump in the road like this is experienced how does one move forward? Questions likes these may help get one started:

· Can you briefly summarize how you add value to your organization?

· What happens when you find yourself in a position where you cannot justify your value?

· What happens when you feel you cannot add any value because of boundaries placed on you, something like a budget?

· What happens when you feel like you add no value?

· What happens when you lose any motivation to add value?

· How do you go about adding value (constructively or destructively)?

How one adds or detracts value form a company should be considered often. Busy people don’t have time to stop and consider such things though, or so they say. I’d challenge them by asking why they are busy. Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean you are adding value. I know plenty of busy people that are busy because they don’t manage their work well and turn things that should take 10 minutes into 4 hour affairs. Efficiency is a concern in adding value as well.

The self-inventory of what value(s) you bring to the table is very important as an exercise to highlight and/or discover your strengths, on which you should focus your time and energy on. More than just discovery of your value it is essential to evaluate how you promote your value. I have found that some people give the illusion of their value by tearing others down. They basically walk on the backs of others to appear at the top. Political debates and campaigns typically work this way. Instead of talking about their value candidates just focus on destroying any sense of value their opponents may be perceived to have. It’s tough to not look valuable when you have crushed anyone that sets the bar higher. Your value should be promoted in such a way that is constructive to an organization and those within it.

Now the weight’s on your shoulders to consider your own value. I’ve found this to be one exciting journey full of opportunities to learn about others and yourself.

Lesson Learned From a Chili-Cheese Dog

2011-11-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

I’m a Southern boy, born and raised in Jacksonville, FL I grew up filling my body with Southern food. Southern food is synonymous with bad, unhealthy, or heavy. My roots aren’t those of riches so I grew up poverty stricken I adopted a lot of poor eating habits that over the past several years I’ve watched decease. All that adds up to lots of fast food and things like chili-cheese dogs. I always joke with my wife and tell her she saved me from eating Taco Bell four nights a week. Before I met my wife I did in fact eat at Taco Bell with a buddy of mine at least four times a week. We had dinner with him and his wife recently and both discussed how Taco Bell isn’t something we can touch now, as it would upset us. Even though I can’t touch Taco Bell now it is fun to reminisce of those times we had skating the streets of downtown Indy filling our bellies with all sorts of trans fats and other life-shortening ingredients.

Last night my wife was out for drinks with one of her friends so I was left to my own at the house for quite a while. Assuming she would eat out I decided to reminisce a bit and get back to my roots. A couple chili-cheese dogs, some macaroni and cheese, and french-fries would do the trick. Like clockwork as a bachelor I can vividly remember making this exact meal and pouring the left over chili in a small bowl to finish off. This was a staple meal for me. This meal was nostalgic. Michigan is nostalgic for me and my wife. Nostalgia from my past and present collided last summer which all came crashing down on me last night as I could barely finish my first hotdog and looked at my full plates (yup, it took two plates because there was so much) with disgust.

Michigan is a special place for my wife and I, we especially love coastal towns that run along Lake Michigan. My wife’s family spends a great deal of time in Michigan with us, it is a special place for our family. In a quaint cottage nestled close to the lake we enjoyed each other’s’ company one summer afternoon. While up there together we do breakfast big and we do dinner big, but lunch, not so much. But lunch is something I enjoy, it’s important to me. I decided to make myself a couple chili-cheese dogs that day. I had to run up to the local convenience store (I endearingly call it the Ugly Duck) and get a can of no-beans Hormel chili. That’s what I grew up doing so I couldn’t digress at all. I remember her family poking fun at me and how disgusting that Hormel chili was, how it was like dog food. I enjoyed my lunch that day; at least I told myself I did.

Last night the nostalgia of those chili-cheese dog meals of my childhood and bachelor days suddenly lost its glimmer and crashed into reality, leaving me as its victim. As I threw away everything I had prepared and set on my plate in anticipation of eating I realized that my chili-cheese dog has just taught me a great life lesson. No, I didn’t hear an audible voice coming from food, that’s just plain bonkers! I discovered an underlying principle I think most my age or close to my age are currently confronting. Nostalgia and reality do not always coexist. Sometimes you believe and hold on to things because you cannot bear the thought of moving on, processing change isn’t desirable in those moments. When nostalgia and reality contrast reality always wins. Reality and nostalgia don’t have to battle for your heart, however, and that is the challenge of what growing up and becoming adults is all about.

I’m 28, married, and live in a different region (physically, socio-economically, spiritually, and mentally) from where I grew up. I’m done with schooling and am in a stable career at a stable company. It’s tough being this age because you remember high-school like it was yesterday and although you realize you graduated 10 years ago you still feel like a kid. The reality of you being a grown-up only hits you every once in a while and the more I grow up the more I realize all the grown-ups I remember really weren’t grown-ups at all, just people like me, going through what I’m going through, right now. There is this tension between the nostalgia of youth and your present that vies for your attention. Naturally when the nostalgia of your youth is called into question you defend it, sometimes protect it despite reality. This is the battle of our age, growing up and being stuck between nostalgia and reality. However, where these two collide we can find peace where so much anxiety and remorse reside. There are two choices when we come to a point where our denial can no longer sustain our reality, nostalgia contrasts with reality. This is what happened when I could no longer bear eating the chili-cheese dog that used to shine so brightly.

This place in life doesn’t have to be as volatile as it can so often be. We don’t have to be in constant tension or all together denial about growing up. When you have a moment where your nostalgic loses its appeal when faced with reality you realize you are growing up. Rather than allowing sadness to wrench at your heart as you throw your beloved chili-cheese dog in the trash, I suggest acceptance and appropriate thankfulness. I am grateful my stomach cannot handle that kind of mess anymore because I am healthier and happier. I would never want to be a bachelor again and simply look back on those good times as moments of growth that prepared me to be exactly where I am now. When once chooses acceptance and gratefulness in the face of this tension where nostalgia and reality collide, we grow and appreciate life, and in that moment grow up just a bit more. I know others are currently experiencing this crisis of growing up and hope this may help some. Enjoy the journey as we change, being thankful along the way.

Thumb Horns

2011-11-18T13:06:00.000-05:00

Vehicle horns should be on the pillar of the steering wheel rather than the center. If you’re unfamiliar with what I am recommending thus far, take a look at the picture. Where the volume controls are, that is where horns should be. Hondas typically have the horns located here. I drive a Honda so have become quite acquainted with this option. Just today at lunch a truck pulled out in front of me, which blocked the view of another vehicle pulling out so I almost got crushed on both sides. Initial reaction, which is natural and second nature now, was to throw my hand to the center of my steering wheel with disdain. My wife was with me at the time and politely asks, “Why didn’t you beep?” I went on to explain how my first reaction is to always slam my hand to the center of the steering wheel. Because of this truth I have noticed I am not nearly as trigger happy on the horn as I was prior to my beloved little Honda. I wonder if everyone’s horn was on the steering column if the aggressive usage would decrease. There is something unspoken that quench the thirst of rage by slamming down on a horn while in traffic, however, if you removed the natural placement of the horn and decreased its accessibility I bet horns wouldn’t blare in traffic as the typically do. Road rage could be significantly impacted for the positive with a move like this. I suppose this is my random thought for the day, hope you enjoy.

Slow Integrity

2011-11-15T12:53:00.000-05:00

Shortcuts are convenient, but taking the tough route always pays off.

Pete the Planner made a comment on Twitter this morning in reference to a blog he wrote. “If I'm a realtor that blogged, I would write blog posts like the one I wrote today about housing. It would earn trust” He said this in reference to a blog he wrote about 5 signs thatyou bought too much house…and what to do next. My response to him was, “you'd have a great book of business but a slow ROI initially, but I'd use you.” As a realtor I am sure your priority one is selling homes, not necessarily assuring the best interest of the buyers. I’ve dealt with and am sure there are tons of realtors that have their clients best interest in mind, but I bet their road to success was a lot longer and difficult than the mega-sales brokers that had a heavy hand in the mortgage collapse. To go ahead and give away my main point here, those short cuts people took during the hey-day of getting people into houses they couldn’t really afford cost a lot of people their jobs and careers. Our realtor said that even though the market is tough now, it is easier because you are working with high character people because that fallout washed out all the shortcut takers.

“Only seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves.”

My father-in-law, Dr. Greg Sipes, has written several books, and I had the great fortune of helping him with one called, The Bottom Line. One of the 6 (simple) principles he discusses is doing the hard thing. He suggest that by choosing to do the tough things in life you will learn more and have much more to gain over taking short cuts.

Being successful through high character and integrity is a longer process and requires patience. Shortcuts are just that, short cuts, they get you to a goal quicker however, the damage done in taking the path always catches up with you. High quality requires hard work and is impeded by short cuts. In life taking the longer roads and avoiding short cuts always leads to better success, although it always takes longer. Try to imagine a paved path that leads you around a marsh. Person A and Person B leave the same starting point with the same destination in mind. A quickly cuts through the marsh, covers himself in mud, upsets the natural environment of animals laying there in peace, and arrives at the destination much faster than B. B arrives by taking the paved path, the longer path, much later than A, but arrives clean and was able to enjoy the scenery along the way. B stands there a mess with only the satisfaction that he arrived sooner, not that he arrived. B is satisfied with arriving and doing so in the right way. Maybe that is too fluffy and cute of a parallel to draw for you, but I think you can get my point.

In owning a home I have gotten myself into several projects. During these projects I am always a bit shocked and disappointed at the lack of quality I find when trying to improve on things, which makes my project and work much harder. I always shake my head and just think to myself, “If only they would have done it right the first go around.” Taking short cuts causes self-depreciation and pain on those that come behind you.

There are tons of examples you can draw from every day, however, the underlying principle remains true and timeless, don’t take short cuts, do things right, have integrity and the harvest will always follow through. Doing business with integrity is tough and it’s frustrating to see people taking short cuts flying by you, however, their shortcuts will hurt them in the process and you will stand the test of time. As one who tries his hardest to live daily and work with integrity, I am challenged and often forget that it’s always right to do so because short cuts are never good. Hopefully this can serve as a reminder to you as well, be patient and always live a high quality, high character, high integrity life, it will take longer but be better, always.

7 Lessons for Success

2011-11-15T12:46:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I attended the Indiana Small Business Expo and was fortunate enough to meet and listen to Susan Baroncini-Moe speak about being a successful entrepreneur, actually a mega-successful entrepreneur. She prescribed 7 lessons that would aid in the process of being a mega-successful entrepreneur that I found interesting and helpful and decided I share. Obviously, if you want more information on this you should go to her site or contact her, as she is the expert, not me, I’m just sharing in hopes someone benefits from my experience.

The seven lessons are pretty simple, yet when you take time to explore them reveal greater depth of success.

Lesson of fervor
Lesson of expertise
Lesson of packaging
Lesson of magnetism
Lesson of service
Lesson of connection
Lesson of support

A brief description of each to consider as you may be on the same kind of journey I’m on trying to figure things out for yourself. Fervor, find out what you are passionate about. Not the unrealistic adage of doing what you love to do and get paid for it, because sometimes that just unrealistic. Point and case, I love to play basketball, but I’m 5’10” and 28, so me going pro is probably not going to happen. Find your thing that you are passionate about, the thing that you are involved in or after you are finished you feel like making a really weird girl squeal that you hope no one heard. Find what you are passionate about first then continue on to success. Expertise, find out what you have expertise in or go get expertise in whatever it is you are passionate about. No one pays people who aren’t experts. Packaging, you know it’s important, it’s the reason a Tiffany’s box will take your girl’s breathe away quicker than a Wal-Mart ring box containing the same ring. Magnetism, this is a newer way of putting something that makes a ton of sense. What’s your draw, why would someone want to use you as a business, what’s the force that attracts the business? Service, which is based on a book by Bob Burg called The Go Giver. The principle is basically that your focus needs to be about what you give rather than get to thrive. What do you give to your clients? Connection, it’s all about who you know, networking in several different capacities. Support, how do you support those you connect with and provide a product or service for? I’m sure Susan has much more to say about all this and it will do you and me good to seek more knowledge from her.

Again, I found these thoughts challenging and helpful as I sift through all this myself and hope you may as well. Enjoy and thanks to Susan again for her knowledge and fervor for what she does.

Grape Kool-Aid

2011-11-11T08:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I was in something other than basketball shorts and a hoodie after 6pm, which is quite different for me. After getting home from work I hurried off to the Indiana Small Business Expo. For those not familiar with my story I’ll give you a brief taste:

I’ve been in insurance since I was 17 and always been successful and able to promote within easily. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t doing what I wanted to, but just kept my head down and moved on. Most recently this restlessness has come to a climax and I could no longer put addressing it aside. I started meeting with a career counselor (and now close friend, who basically changed my life for the better) and taking all sorts of platform tests, like Meyers-Briggs, Strength Finder 2.0, KOLBE, etc. We really focused in on finding what my strengths were and what my most natural habits were and how to optimize my strengths in a career. We boiled it down to several things in which marketing/advertising/consulting seem to carry the most weight. Having zero experience and zero network within these areas I’ve been committed to networking and meeting the right people. I’ve met a lot of great people and am learning so much. This exciting part of my journey is what led me to going to the Indiana Small Business Expo last night.

I am typically the life of the party, the guy most know in a group, able to carry on conversations with perfect strangers, and never afraid of new environments. Typically is the keyword because last night I walked around feeling as small as a mouse. I was a mouse among men(and women), which was a very foreign feeling for me. I got home after the expo and was thinking aloud to my wife about all this and couldn’t quite connect the dots, it still didn’t make sense as to why I felt so uncomfortable in a situation that I typically have no problems with. A good night’s rest and plenty of awful tasting cold medicine must have done the trick because I woke up this morning thinking of grape Kool-Aid. If I were to end the blog here it would at least be entertaining and very odd, but I’ll spare you the time it would take you to connect grape Kool-Aid being the resolution to my night and continue.

Susan Baroncini-Moe (founder and CEO of Business in Blue Jeans) spoke last night about the 7 lessons of being a mega-successful entrepreneur. I’ll write more about those 7 lessons soon. Her presentation started with a picture of a little girl at a “lemonade stand.“ I put quotation marks around lemonade stand not because I am one of those people who always do quotation makes when I talk, but actually with a point, it wasn’t an actual lemonade stand at all. It was a picture of a little girl sitting at a table with an umbrella and pitcher full of grape Kool-Aid. She went on to explain that she started as an entrepreneur by making her own path and being unique, not just doing lemonade like all the other kids. She now sees this as part of how she arrived where she is now and her passion for helping other entrepreneurs become successful in their own way. I realized that all I’ve been doing is looking at everyone doing their “lemonade stands” and trying to figure out a way to do my own “lemonade stand.” I need to be comfortable that I’m on a journey and I’m young enough to not call it failure that I’m still trying to figure that out. I’m not sure what my grape Kool-Aid is, but I know I’m on a journey trying to find it. Maybe this is something others in my generation are experiencing, trying to duplicate others success instead of truly finding what they are going to be about. The more I speak with and meet new people who are successful at things that interest me the more I learn that I’m doing what they did along their journey to success, exploring, learning, asking questions, and networking. Making grape Kool-Aid used to be as simple as water, sugar, and a wooden spoon, but thinking about it this way makes life a bit more interesting and working more exciting. So until I find out what my grape Kool-Aid is, I suppose I’ll meander around uncomfortably, but confident that it is a necessary step in the journey. Here’s to progress!

Ambition

2011-11-09T08:44:00.002-05:00

Wale is better than most. Wale’s album, Ambition, just dropped this morning (11/01/11) with great anticipation from at least 1,248,810 people. This album is truly a piece of art, honestly, that’s not being dramatic to keep your attention, it truly has artistic depth and character, something that the hip hop game has been lacking for quite some time, at least on the main stream level. Albums like this only come along once in a great while and Wale has joined a unique group of MCs that won’t ever be too far from the tip of any hip hop fan’s tongue for decades to come. Is Wale better than most? I think this statement holds water even if his album was trash, if his content was garbage, but fortunately for us it is far from anything close to even mediocre. The point here is that Wale is better than most because Wale is not only a musical and lyrical genius, but he embraced and thrived in the social media world.

The very thing that makes social media such a powerful tool, especially within the music industry can be applied, in a somewhat modified fashion, to business for similar results. Maybe Wale is just naturally intuitive and has a natural gift for knowing how to reach people, but part of me has to believe he has a very smart public relations type guy whispering in his ear. Wale connects with his audience, he knows what a person who would be into his music likes. A simple example, sneakers. Essential to the hip hop culture are nice sneakers, sneak geeks, sneaker heads, call it what you will, but Wale knows the majority of his audience connects with him on that level. Not only does he promote his brand, but he does so while connecting to his audience with similar interests, sneakers. Sneaker enthusiast websites have Wale’s fingerprints all over them, he likes and collects sneakers and freely lets his audience know by posting pictures and such. Wale has 1,248,810 followers on twitter and is very active, so active that he actually replies to them and retweets them. If you’re not sure what these terms mean, it’s evidence that you need to get into social media. In our experiences up to recent times has been that celebrities are untouchable by the general public. Social media has bridged that gap and allows fans to relate and interact with their favorite rap star, Wale as an example. This creates a draw and anticipation for whatever is going on with that artist. Wale will at least sell 1,248,810 albums, or should, unless people bootleg it, without any advertising outside of social media (Twitter). Wale has created himself as a brand with social media, so his products are sold easily.

There are lessons in all of this that is applicable to your business. I’m not saying to make a direct application to your business. There are tons of businesses out there using social media, but not in effective ways, they are more spam than anything else. Learning how to use social media to reach an audience could greatly boost your business and make your product much anticipated. Within that there is another challenge, anticipation brings great weight, so deliver quality stuff, but having anticipation for your brand/product is a powerful tool. Take a rapper from D.C., Wale, as an example. And if you haven’t already thought about it, you should definitely purchase his newest album, Ambition, and enjoy history in the making.

Wale's twitter name is @Wale if you want to connect with him

Customer Service and Social Media

2011-11-03T09:57:00.000-04:00

I read a very interesting article this morning and thought I would share. I share on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ already, but think this is enough to publish a simple post on my site. The link is below:

http://mashable.com/2011/11/03/social-customer-experience/

Here’s a brief review of what is said:

7 ways to create a memorable customer experience with social media:

1. Give the customer a place to talk
2. Integrate social media into your customer service
3. Activate your existing customer base
4. Be proactive
5. Reward influencers
6. Create compelling content
7. Stand out from the crowd

Enjoy!

Exclusivity

2011-10-27T10:38:00.000-04:00

I have eaten three McRib sandwiches in the last month. My liver probably wants to die and I’m positive I’ve shaved 5 years off my life by consuming these delicious enigmas of the fast food world. There is a commercial on TV right now for the McRib, it’s this newlywed couple on their way to their honeymoon when the rookie husband has a revelation that the McRib is back and laments on missing it. My wife recently went out of town so I was left to myself for an entire weekend, which I can assure you was full of me being lost and realizing how much I like being married and having my wife around. So, what’s a young man to do when his wife is out of town? Party, drink like a fish, spend quiet time reading, catch up on Tosh.0? None, of these happened, as I was lost, however, the one beckon of hope that gave me some direction was the McRib. I met with a friend on a Friday night and we went to McDonalds and hung out talking and devouring McRibs. After I placed my order the girl who rang me up inquires, “Are those really good (Yes, I was just as shocked that an employee of McDonalds had never tried one of their products)?” I had to wipe the boyish smirk off my face caused by the anticipation of my reunion with an old friend, McRib, but mustered up an answer that fascinated myself and anyone else within an earshot. “Well, they are probably not as good as I think, they really just taste like the “rib” sandwiches you got in elementary school, but I guess because it only comes around every so often it’s a lot better in my head.”

That is a fascinating retort, especially coming out of a mouth salivating with anticipation for the very product it was moderating. A good question to consider for myself was why do I crave this little sandwich that I know is going to make me feel horrible for the rest of the night and probably the next three days? Is it because of the high quality meat or luscious roll it’s served on? Does it really taste that good? If the McRib was always on the menu would I eat at McDonalds and endure the pain it causes me every week? The resounding answer is no. But why is it no? Humans value feeling important at some level, whether they acknowledge it or not. We all desire to feel or to be made to feel important. It is a large driving force in decisions we make. When there is a club that only certain people can get into or a special product that is limited to the number of consumers it is available to, we want that. We want to feel important by being included in things that are limited. Does the McRib magically turn you important? Absolutely not, that’s an absurd thought. The principle behind its success is the principle of exclusivity. Facebook started as a very inclusive social networking community. You could only join if you were enrolled at an approved college, which was confirmed by your email address. Unfortunately Google+ didn’t see as much success following this pattern, they used invites. Companies that are successful use this principle in some way. Starbucks has its seasonal lattes, which in truth can be made year round since they have the syrups, but only push them as seasonal. McDonald’s has its McRib. Candy companies only release their candy canes around the holidays. The examples could go on for quite some time, but the underlying truth is that making something exclusive boosts people’s interest naturally. Is the MsRib as spectacular as I like to tell myself? Probably not, however, limiting me to something makes me look forward to its return. Where do you see this principle in the works? Is your company using exclusivity as a clever marketing ploy? I am enamored each year at the amount of attention the McRib gets because of this principle. Exclusivity summons the very essence of our being by tempting us with limitations. Exclusivity is a powerful tool that can be used for much good if managed appropriately and applied conservatively.

Burning Ring of Fire

2011-10-24T18:21:00.000-04:00

The tongue is a mighty tool that can be used for construction or destruction. The technological advances we are and have been experiencing in social media are allowing a lot more voices on pedestals to be heard unlike any other time in our history, thus far. Is it possible that the medium for all these new voices could be damaging? It really depends on how you view these pedestals all together and how cautious you are of the true power that little muscle in your mouth has.

In the news recently some quack released all his exotic animals in Ohio, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! Heiresses stuff their purses with little dogs. There are now dog bakeries and doggie hotels (kennels). As a child I thought the circus was kind of gross, however, my fascination of the large and powerful animals doing tricks and jumping through rings of fire kept me going year after year. It’s amazing how man can tame animals. But, of all the things man can tame, the tongue remains wild. Ancient wisdom compares the tongue to many small yet mighty things, a rudder on a ship, a spark that sets a forest ablaze, a bit in a horse’s mouth, and a gushing spring to name a few. The idea here is that the tongue welds great power, which can do great damage or great good, depending on how it’s managed. Humanity is endowed with gifts and the world spins on how we manage them, appropriately or inappropriately. Natural consequences are played out daily as effects of the tongue’s usage build and destroy. The challenge is whether you chose or even realize the course of action your tongue is taking.

Why are quotes so powerful? Why is it that there is an entire industry that makes framed “art” that uses wise words of the past? Words hold great power and can inspire many. The civil rights movement alone was spearheaded by the great words of Dr. King. Nelson Mandela’s words lead to great things. Jesus had many words that inspired people. Many men and women of the past are immortalized by words, products of the tongue that have led to great things. Contritely though many words have led to demoralization and destruction. Many drag heavy baggage and bear deep wounds caused by words misused and abused. A father’s belittling words to a young boy cause many grown men to walk with their heads down. Many women still bear the burdens of words spoken to girls of their history. The point here is that words spoken can be harmful as much as they can be inspiring. Some other ancient wisdom says words are like choice morsels, they go down to a person’s inmost part. Words spoken even decades ago can sit so firmly wedged into a person’s being that they become immobile. Words are powerful, the tongue is a great beast, but this brute force and great power can produce beauty if used in the right way.

It’s ironic to have this writing posted on my personal website/blog to begin with. I am all about personal liberties and think everyone has the right to be heard. I think the benefit of the new mediums of communication is that there are so many different opinions out there. I think this creates a better intellectual atmosphere and challenges the status-quot cognitive structure all together. The concern I have, however, is that words, as powerful as they can be, are also being thrown around like live grenades. I like the discussions that are created by so many different points of view and relish in the idea of broadened communication. As much good is done by these comprehensive communications, my apprehension remains that opinions and words are being shared with no forethought or at least no consideration of their power to do both good and bad. As I peruse the blogosphere, Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ my hope is that we will all become more aware of the power of words and use them for construction. The challenge in all this is; are your words used constructively or destructively? This doesn’t mean you cannot disagree or offer other opinions; it just challenges us to do so in a constructive way. This is the way everyone wins. This is a humbling and sobering thought for me to process, and my hope is you join me in these considerations.

Suit up!

2011-10-20T15:24:00.000-04:00

My favorite show of all time is How I Met Your Mother. My favorite character of all time is Barney Stinson (played by Neil Patrick Harris). He is this over the top womanizing ridiculous sociopath that demands your laughter. He also is a fashion genius, so much so, that when I was getting married I actually said to my then fiancée, “I want to look like Barney on my wedding day and suit up!” Barney Stinson is all about dressing in nice suits, wearing fashionable ties, and always looking top notch. This TV character and real life meet in my closet. That may sound a bit kidnapperish; however, what I mean is that I am into fashion as well. GQ, Esquire, and Complex are all regular readings for me. I enjoy fashion and looking nice. For me how I look on the outside is a direct reflection of how I feel on the inside.

The professional marketplace is deluded with khakis and polos. We are a very “business-casual” marketplace these days. The company I work for often has initiatives connected with their corporate giving to large non-profit organizations that allow its employees to wear jeans and be casual for some donation. Every Friday is casual Friday, and by casual I mean a t-shirt and jeans. This is a great benefit and is really nice especially in the winter. This is the context I am working within. This morning as I put the finishing touches on my look I found myself with a little extra pep in my step. The reflection deserved a compliment, dressed in nicely pressed slacks (flat front of course), fitted dress shirt (no pockets on the front, ever), tie, and dress vest nicely covering it all. I show up to work and get plenty of smart-assed comments but I see past them, I know they are compliments in disguise. When a guy ribs you for looking GQ he is really saying, “You look very nice today.” When you are asked if you have an interview, they are really complimenting how well put together you are. When you are asked, “Who are you trying to impress?” they mean you look dapper. I decided a while back that I am going to dress above par even though I have the option to be casual. I’ve found that when I am dressed to the nines I feel like I’m floating around the office. I have an extra skip in my bounce when I look like I have an interview or am trying to impress someone.

I’ve always heard, “Don’t dress for where you are, but where you want to be.” Sure it is a little cheesy, but I think it has a grain of truth in it. When you dress and look like everyone else you are just like them. If you decided to step your game up a bit and not fall into the homogenous pool of business-casual you stand out, in a good way. No one is ever going to look down on you because you are dressed too nice. Is there a too nice anyways? I am proposing that if you dress the part you will feel the part. If you have a job that you do not like or feel like you add no value to I bet there is a difference in how you feel about it all when wearing a suit over some jeans and a graphic tee. I’m not sure if there have been any case studies done in this area, but I’d be willing to invest some cash in guaranteeing that the results turn out as I’ve prescribed. In this flooded market any edge you can have over others is a good edge to have. I’m not talking slimy or sleazy edges, nothing that is destructive or hurtful to others. If you can make yourself more than a resume and more than a professional clone then you have a greater chance to get to where you want to go faster than others. Dressing for where you want to be instead of where you are is not only good for how others perceive you, but probably even better for your own psyche.

So gentlemen: Suit up, look good, feel good, be well!

Wise Cookie

2011-10-20T15:16:00.000-04:00

Good advice should be appreciated; however, the source of this advice often times is eaten alive, well, maybe not alive because it is only a cookie. I’m talking about fortune cookies here folks, those delicious treasures I always find myself taking handfuls of after I leave my favorite little Chinese place here in Carmel. After devouring this tasty little treat recently I found the most interesting “fortune” that is now taped to my desk as a daily reminder.

“Everyone is fun, you just have to find their fun side.”

This goes back to the ideology of perspective and being in control of how you interact with the environment around you. I wrote about this similarly in August but the general premise is that it is up to you how you perceive the world around you. More specifically this “fortune” is about people and how we chose to perceive them. Yes, certainly, we have all dealt with “difficult” people and sometimes people are just down right problematic. Each day I have to answer this hotline at work that is kind of a help line for a product we support and use as a data analyzing tool. There are plenty of dumb questions and mean people if I so chose to see them that way. I’ve decided to buy into this ancient wisdom buried beneath a stale cookie though. Everyone is fun, everyone means well, everyone wants to do well and succeed, I just have to find that part of them. Someone who calls me yelling about not being able to schedule something sooner than the tool allows is not impatient, they are probably really good at customer service and want things done promptly.

Every human being, unless mentally ill, has the capacity to feel joy and love, thus have fun, and it is our responsibility as individuals to trust that truth and spend time looking beneath the person we see or experience. Deciding to discover their fun side can have huge impacts and cause us to see the world and people as good and thus experience life in a much more palatable way.

Change Leafs a Mess!

2011-10-13T13:25:00.000-04:00

My favorite season is fall. I am constantly reminded of change and most recently have seen that as beautiful as change is, sometimes it can make quite the mess that must be cleaned up, which is hard work.

I’m from Florida, born and raised there 22 years of my life. My family likes to call me and get weather updates during the winter, as to throw it in my face that it is 2 here and 70 there. I miss Florida in the winter a lot, but not so much, actually not at all, during the fall. The fall is beautiful! The tress changing colors and nice temperatures make me love being in Indiana! As much as I enjoy the canopy of gorgeous colors driving into my neighborhood, I’ve learned that all that pretty becomes quite ugly and messy when it hits your yard and driveway. I’m very meticulous when it comes to my yard and driveway/porch. This is our first house which makes it my first time ever having to deal with the beauty of fall in my yard. I like my driveway and porch clear of any dirt or leaves and edged really nicely. I like perfect lines in my yard. Again, I am meticulous about my yard and driveway/porch. Because of this not being able to see my driveway or yard due to leaves is quite troubling. Being me, I decided to fix it after work one day and I got way in over my head and learned a valuable lesson. I took my leaf blower and blew everything to the center of my yard, then raked them into nice piles, 6 in all. Then I realized I was in over my head. Within the first 30 seconds I had filled three bags and was running out of room in my trash can, so I decided to change tactics. I broke out my mulching lawnmower and attacked the piles ferociously. After about 3 hours I was a sweaty mess, but I was able to look at a clean canvas, just in time for more leaves to fall on it. Lesson learned: Change is a beautiful aspect of life, but it takes hard work to clean up the mess it leaves or leafs (get it, nice word play).

As life changes the way we accept or deal with these changes can leave behind little messes. It is our personal responsibility to resolve these messes that are caused by the changes. It is hard work to deal with these things. As life changes sometimes we deny or even fantasize that change happens. That leaves a mess; it may hurt others or even isolate you and cause pain to yourself. If I did not clean up the fallen leafs from my yard or driveway it would be an unsightly home. The same is true of the results or consequences of change. We must deal with change; we must commit to the difficult task and know that in the end the reason why fall is so pretty is because of the changes. Different colors make a beautiful canvas for us to enjoy. In the same way life’s changes make life beautiful. Even though change is difficult it is well worth the hard work it takes to go through it and resolve it. Even though raking is frustrating and makes my lower back hurt I’d take it just to see the beauty of fall. Shouldn’t we feel the same about life and changes we encounter?

Insecure Fortress

2011-10-13T11:06:00.000-04:00

Arrogance is the best defense insecurity has.

I was working at an insurance agency early in my professional career, well; it was more of a brokerage firm. We took referrals from companies that could not write risks and found coverage through different companies by working with underwriting and such. I was working on quoting coverage for one home in particular that still baffles me. It was about the most secure building probably ever built, but because of how it was built and what it was we could not place it with a company. It was a mobile home in Florida, which typically is automatically difficult to write, but the owner of the home must have known this in advance. The homeowner built a double concrete block wall around the entire home and then had it connected with heavy duty brackets to the mobile home, thus making it a fortress. At its core the home was a very unstable mobile home, but the homeowner had built up these ridiculous walls around it that no one or nothing would be able to get through. I am still enamored by this scenario, but most recently it was brought to mind as a physical representation of a principle I’ve been working through and noticing. People, me being the best example, are much like this home.

Many people have been hurt by my own arrogance, including myself. Many are shocked to learn or hear me say that I am really insecure and thus build up this rough exterior to seem like I cannot get hurt, when truth be told, I am hurt easily. I wonder if this isn’t the same for many people that we experience throughout our days and lives. Could viewing harsh or hardened people in this way change how we interact as well? If we see angry, arrogant, harsh people as hurt people maybe we would handle them differently and maybe they would impact us in a different way as well. Next time the rude cashier snaps at you maybe you will see she is in pain. Next time the boss is rude to you and demeaning maybe you’ll see him in angst. Maybe all the jerks will become people in pain; maybe the hard will be seen as soft. This change in perspective could not only benefit the persons we interact with, but mostly it will impact how we are affected by them, granting freedom from bitterness.

The fortress you see may only be a weak structure covered in harsh defense mechanisms. I find this to be a challenging attitude to take when walking through my own environment and hope it may be to you as well. Be well, live well, love well.

Luck

2011-10-06T14:57:00.000-04:00

There is no such thing as luck, in the mainstream sense of the definition.

I am a Big Brother through a mentoring program. I’ve had my little brother, Tank, since he was 7. He is about to turn 12 and I’m already seeing the opportunities the ‘tween and teen stages will bring. The case managers at the mentoring agency have yearly surveys they send out and quarterly calls they make to discuss the match with you. The questions range from, “How are things going?” to, “What area would you like to see him grow in over the next year.” I’ve always found these questions challenging because I got him at such a young age that it really has been all about creating a relationship. I am now seeing that this relationship will pay off because it will and is allowing me to speak into areas of his life as they come about.

Most recently I had the opportunity to discuss work ethic with Tank while walking around downtown Indianapolis. He was expressing his dream to be a professional athlete and said he just needs to get lucky. Insert Adam’s relationship paying off in a way of being able to give him advice and it be taken well. I begin to tell Tank he can do it if he sets his mind to it and works hard. I told him luck was simply the intersection of preparedness and opportunity. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I began to explain.

The best definition of luck I have ever heard is that it is where opportunity and preparedness intersect. Here are some wise words from my father-in-law and behavioral health psychologist, Dr. Greg Sipes, along the same lines “Opportunity will inevitably come. If you focus on preparing yourself opportunity will inevitably come! Opportunity is all around you all of the time but you only recognize it and you only see the opportunity that is best for you when you are prepared.” That “lucky” fade away three point shot Lebron James makes or ridiculous half-court shot Jason Kidd made several years back aren’t random acts of the heavens opening up all the good fortune upon that one shot. These shots are not luck in the sense that most take luck to be defined as, some random result or act of good fortune they receive. The reality is that luck isn’t random at all. The truth is you can find Lebron James, Jason Kidd, or any other professional athlete that we see at the end of ridiculous two or three point shots in the gym preparing. Preparation and an extreme work ethic are what makes these guys professionals. They prepare almost at an obsessive frequency for moments like the ones we see on top 10 countdowns. They prepare because they know at some moment the opportunity will present itself to them and when it does they want to be ready. The intersection of their preparedness and opportunity makes the general public think it was luck, but they know, after all the sweat, long days of workouts, and countless hours spent in the gym, they know it is not luck at all.

I have been caught on the sidelines of life at times in my own walk. I have watched successful people my age and thought that they just got lucky or for some reason the universe favored them. I have been guilty of betting luck on others success and burning with jealousy and bitterness because I was not randomly chosen to receive this good luck. I hear folks all the time pensively considering others good fortune and wonder, “Why not me?” They expend this great amount of energy trying to decipher some code or figure out how they can get lucky when what they truly need is simple and just a change of definition and perspective. There is no such thing as luck according to the definition I’m using as my base-line of thought. There is no randomness. Opportunities present themselves based on the preparation you put in. Opportunities are inevitable and they will come, but only those prepared will seize them and succeed or progress where they desire. If my generation spent more time preparing for the inevitable truth that opportunity will pass them by I can guarantee we would be full of success and fulfillment. When our eyes open each morning we have the choice to prepare ourselves for what will come, even if we don’t know just what that opportunity will be. If we prepare enough we will see opportunities and ultimately see opportunities that we are prepared for.

Again, there is no such thing as luck, only preparedness and opportunity clashing. The truth of the matter is that you make your own luck. Lebron James has the satisfaction of knowing after seeing and hearing all the naysayers that he is where he is because of his hard work and preparation. It is my desire to see more and more of us, you and me, have this same sense of satisfaction at the end of the day, the satisfaction that we aren’t lucky, but prepared.

Relationship Marketing

2011-10-05T21:10:00.000-04:00

Most recently I attended a meeting for marketing professionals. I myself am not a marketing professional yet and see this as a networking opportunity, so attended anyways. During this informative new member orientation meeting something was said that peaked my interest and got my mind rolling. The speaker was talking about someone interested in the group that had a major concern in joining. His concern, you ask, well, it was that by joining a group of marketing professionals that his “trade secrets” may be stolen. His concern was that possible competitors would use this meeting as an arena to gain some sort of edge on him. My initial reaction upon hearing this was that there is obvious paranoia going on. Next, I tried to empathize with his plight and try seeing things from his perspective. Empathy is a characteristic I’ve learned will get you far in life and something I daily try to remind myself of. Sometimes in being empathetic you realize that the other person may just be wrong though. Another lesson I am learning is that there is no good in telling someone they are wrong, rather, help them see a different perception.

Fear is the opposite of love, which encompasses things along the lines of confidence, trust, etc. In life you have the choice to live out of fear or love, your choice dictates your trajectory. There is nothing new under the sun and right now all the technology and tools out are available to anyone. There may be a learning curve or even economic advantage some hold over others, but the resources are readily available aside from economics and work ethic. Life is all about relationships, thus so is business. As a marketing professional, most specifically an account manager, one should feel confident enough in relationships that meeting with other professionals would not be seen as competition, but collaborative effort. By this I simply mean the relationships you have built and maintain should be strong enough that a new guy or gal with a shiny toy would not distract your client. Loyalty is a valued commodity. This valuable asset is something that can only be attained through relationships. We seek interpersonal connections, we want to feel a part of something, and we hunt out the values we hold dear. Creating a loyalty with your client will far overshadow and outperform any intuitive ideology or sly sales.

My wife and I use a local butcher shop for all our meat. Sure we could go to a large chain store and get meat for cheaper, but we’d sacrifice quality and relationships. Chain stores can offer things at cheap prices, but can never compete in the market of relationship sustainability. If a new butcher were to come into town and have super neat signs and social media plans I would be hard pressed to vacate my loyalty to my butcher. He knows my name, asks about my wife, gives me recipe ideas, and most of all makes me feel valued as a customer. He has bonded a relationship that gives him a competitive advantage over others. Sharing information with other marketing professionals isn’t a problem if you are confident in the relationship you have with your clients. One should be so sure in his established client relationships that they’d be as bold to challenge another person to take their client. Again, this goes back to the value of creating and maintaining relationships in your business. If we have solid relationships then we can be confident that there is not a competition, only partners who have different relationships. If we are open to learning from others and confident in our client relationships, then associations of professionals in the same business we are in is no longer something to be feared, but something to be embraced.

The challenge in all this is looking past the shiny toys and clever products or services and assessing our relationships. Relationships are key to business and vital to living and working out of love, not fear. Are you confident enough in your client relationships, have you built your business on a solid foundation? These are the tough questions that will propel us into the next tier of success. May you have this success through relationships and work and live well.

I Am the Sun

2011-09-12T20:31:00.000-04:00

The truth is that we are the center of our universe, in terms of the marketplace. We are not interested in things that do not benefit us in some way. We are not interested in viewing, reading, watching, or entertaining anything with any of our senses if it is not directly relevant to me. This is not, in any way, to say we are arrogant people. I have experienced very giving and charitable people who could be described as selfless. Even these selfless people are not interested in things that do not pertain to them though, from a sales or advertising standpoint. The future of companies advertising and marketing themselves to consumers is very bright and full of changes, yet, as you look around many companies are downright throwing their money away on traditional mediums of expression. When is the last time you saw a billboard and were inspired to buy that product or service? On the same note, when’s the last time a commercial on TV or some busy jersey at a sporting event inspired you to buy? If anything I find those kinds of advertisements repulsive and create distaste for the very product or service they’re attempting to get you to buy. Why? Simply put, neither I nor any other consumer is interested in buying something they don’t want. Trying to make a consumer want to want something is no longer accurate or appropriate, especially with the change in communication this society has, social media.

Internet marketing is the way to go these days and companies owe it to themselves to get on the train early. Twitter is popular and newspapers are declining because consumers only want to read or see things they deem valuable. Following online users’ interests and researching their values can allow a company to show them only what is relevant to them. It is time for companies to stop thinking about how to get their name out and about alone. Instead, learn what people are about and learn to only show your product to those who would be interested. 90% off a new, fancy stroller is a great deal, but doesn’t matter to me, as a young married guy with no kids. The future looks a little more like twitter than we all would like to admit. TV soon will all be through the internet and the only commercials shown to the viewer will be based on their interests and online activity. I’m looking to adapt to these changes and help others along the way. What about you?

Michigan Needs Adam

2011-09-12T20:27:00.000-04:00

We just spent a week and a half in Northern Michigan. I’ve learned to love Michigan; it is a place of unknown and untapped beauty. It is also a place of sobering reality and reminders of past successes. My thought as I left was this: Michigan needs Adam. Obviously, this is a dramatic statement covering a sweeping generalization. A thought before I dive into Michigan because, like I said, many people have no clue about Michigan. Detroit’s failure (auto industry in general) overshadows Michigan’s beauty. This I my theory and based on experience I’ve found that peoples’ most natural tendency is to correlate Detroit with the whole state of Michigan. Detroit is just a small part of Michigan, but the collapse of the auto industry in Michigan was so big that nationally Michigan is just seen as Detroit, which is unfortunate. So, for those who don’t know, I’ll tell you a little about Michigan. Most recently the big news about Michigan is that Sleeping Bear Dunes was named America’s most beautiful place by ABC News. The part of Michigan where we spent the majority of our time is the Leelanau Peninsula. If you meet someone who is from or frequents Michigan often they will raise their right hand and point to their pinky, the right hand is the universal (at least to those familiar with Michigan) visual representation of the state. This little peninsula is sprinkled with wineries and neat little small downtown cities that still hum from their days of abundance. Local businesses crowd the street as tourists explore the rich history of these towns. Michigan at one time in history was a bustling state full of small towns operated and flourishing with small businesses; places where everyone knows your name (like Cheers!).

As neat and cool as these small towns are I could not help looking back as we left the main strip of a once bustling downtown and be deeply saddened. My remorse comes from seeing all the vacancies and boarded up store fronts. Small businesses just couldn’t compete with the larger places that came in and some of this is understandable due to the vacuum the auto industry’s downfall created in people and resources in the state. My natural inclination is to ask why and try to analyze this result, trying to reduce data down to simple reasoning. Why did these towns shut down? Why did these small businesses not last? Why are these vacancies not being filled by more small businesses (that’s an easy answer, no smart business is going to invest and risk in an unstable market)?

We spent 11 days exploring and enjoying Michigan. Within those 11 days we relished the nectar of the gods; the amazing fermented grape; wine. We visited around 15 wineries in our travels and learned what we did and did not like. Aside from the wine I found several things that left a dry bitter taste in my mouth, it was the people making the product I was trying. A good product can be overshadowed by poor representation. On a large scale the greatest example of this is Michigan and my story of Detroit’s failure over shadowing Michigan’s beauty. On a smaller scale a good quality wine can be overshadowed by poor quality people or processes. We found several wines that we enjoyed but because the experience was not good or made us feel uncomfortable we walked away with no bottles. On the contrary the nostalgia of a good experience can lead you to mentally buy into a product that upon later review you find not to be that great. A bottle that brings back such fond memories may not make your tongue want to do a song and dance as much as you “remember” it doing before. Seth Godin says “great products are marketing.” Businesses should be aware that dependence on a product alone cannot sustain an efficacious trade. The downside of this reality is that a bad product can continue for some time with poor quality if the representation (marketing) creates pleasure. An example: Grey Goose Vodka. If you’ve read Chasing Cool you know where I am going already. Grey Goose Vodka is the same quality as Smirnoff. It is filtered the in the same method and frequency, however, Grey Goose is the brand name you drop at a bar to impress the masses. A Grey Goose and Cranberry is the drink of choice for a classy lady in the late night, not a Smirnoff and Cranberry. Why is this? The bottle and box that Grey Goose is packaged in gives you the illusion that it is truly “top shelf,” when in actuality it is just the prettier step sister of Smirnoff. Neither quality is poor, but neither is superior to another. I experienced several wineries that had a particularly great tasting wine, but had horrible experiences at their tasting rooms, either because you were made to feel inferior or it seemed as if the person across the counter were an evil robot that hated it’s lowly life. These wineries are sadly mistaken if they think their product can stand alone and compete or even survive.

I really have a passion to see small businesses succeed and have a strong belief that ultimately small business will make a resurgence and challenge larger corporations. I think small business innovation is what will drive America into the future, if we learn to adapt. We can empower small businesses to do more if we continue to challenge ourselves and realize that products cannot and do not stand alone and that good marketing is necessary to success. Like Seth says, “Good products are marketing,” and this is why Michigan needs Adam.

1+1=17

2011-09-12T13:03:00.002-04:00

1+1=17

There is only one place in the beautiful world that this statement is true, or at least thought to be true. You can find this place under the bright lights of a big house, with wood floors reflecting all the self-proclaimed glory of your average recreational league basketball player. I always find it a bit mind numbing to hear and see the things a bunch of grown-ups can think and do when on the basketball court. Let’s start with a huge reality check about anyone who plays in a recreational league:

1. The reason you play in a rec league is because you didn't make it pro

a. If you played college ball please see above
b. If you played a D1 school and average 70 points a game please see above

There are two unique groups within a rec league. Within those two groups there are subcategories that can crossover between groups (see my past blog on this). Overall though, there are two, the realistic guys trying to have a good time and the guys who lose all logical sense when those sneaks hit the hardwood. The reason any of us are in a rec league is because we all have competitiveness running through our veins. We are all united by our competitiveness and can be found on the edge of our seats most Sunday afternoons routing for our favorite teams. Unfortunately, the two groups diverge from there unity when it comes to cognitive journeys. One group realizes that even though they want to win and want to be good that at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter and we get to go home to our real lives and hopefully hot wives. This group is full of guys who crack jokes at each other and smile and laugh a lot. These guys like playing together. We will even go as far to create secret nights a week where only we type of guys are invited to play because we don’t do to well with the other group. This other group is a small group; however, their big mouths and even loftier egos make it seem so much bigger than it is. This group likes to argue every call and talk trash to people like they are getting paid to play or something. Recently I played with a group of guys like this and heard the most ridiculous statement I’ve heard in at least a week. “I am un-guardable, there is no one out here who can guard me.” This was said a mere 3 minutes prior to one of the slowest cats on the court stealing the ball from him. What leads to this kind of ridiculous logic? The reflection from the nicely waxed wood floors shows someone 40lbs heavier and at least 8 inches taller than what reality has given him. The essence of what this group is about though is ego and that ego is what makes 1+1=17. They don’t pass the ball because they truly believe that 1:5 ratio makes sense. It’s almost like the hardwood gives these guys some kind of odd allergic reaction where any sense of logic dissipates into drooling foolish babbling. This small group ruins games and makes it difficult for others to truly enjoy what is going on here, a bunch of people who are either past their prime or never made it trying to get out some of their competitive juices while smiling.

1+1=17 doesn’t it? No fool, it equals two. Off the basketball court 100% of dudes would agree to this logic, but for a few, when they hit that shiny pine, 1+1 does equal 17 and there is nothing you can do about it. Question is, who are you?

Peanut Butter Marketing

2011-08-30T19:21:00.000-04:00

I just downed a package of Peanut Butter M&M’s. My stomach hurts. Why did I eat those? I don’t even like Peanut Butter M&M’s. These are the thoughts running through my head as I sit here with my face skewed and stomach aching.

I walked by a co-worker’s desk and as I normally do, created some casual passing by type of small-talk, when I noticed a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew and not one, but two packages of M&M’s, one peanut and the other peanut butter flavored. I jokingly say, “Gesh, do you think that’s enough sugar?” His response was fascinating from a business marketing standpoint. “I bought the peanut ones to get to the peanut butter ones behind it in the vending machine; I love peanut butter M&M’s.” It’s only $0.70 so we’re not talking a huge investment, but the underlying principle here is something I think businesses should strive for.

This guy is so committed to a product that he is willing to buy additional products he doesn’t care for just to get to it. Can this be said about your company? We're not talking about just a product, this principle extends to a service. Does your company provide such a great service that it causes customers to do unnecessary things if necessary to get to you or it? Example from my life: My wife and I are loyal to a local butcher shop. Yes, his meat is a bit more expensive, but the experience and quality makes me happy to fork out that additional green. They know me by name, ask about my wife, the house, give me ideas about wine pairings, and above all make me feel like I matter. In the corner of the store there is a board each day that displays which local farm the meat is from and what the animals are fed with. The meat quality is amazing. The service and quality make it worth it to me personally, aside from the fact that I am a huge advocate for supporting local businesses (for the most part, but more to come about that soon), to pay extra for their products, something I am not required to do.

The challenge is perplexing: Does my company offer a product or service that someone would be willing to inconvenience themselves to acquire? Is the way you treat your customer such that they would go out of their way to get to you? Inconveniencing the consumer is not the point, they shouldn’t be inconvenienced, but are they willing to be for you or what you offer? I just finished a pack of candy I don’t enjoy because I saw how dedicated someone was to it. Wouldn’t it be great to have that kind of reputation and influence in your environment?

Don't Suck

2011-08-08T10:25:00.000-04:00

I was asked to give words of wisdom to a group of teens this weekend. I was asked because of my past, starting a church and going to Bible College. What wise words were stirred up within me? Two simple words summed up what I think religious teens today should hear: “Don’t suck.” I went on to unload the large amount of implications that lie beneath the surface of such a simple statement as we stood outside of a shoe store on a Saturday afternoon.

How did this odd happening even begin to develop? The plot unraveled in quite an awkward manner to say the least. I was bored on a Saturday and decided to go to a local shopping center that is all outdoor storefronts. I parked at the far end of the mall so I would be forced to walk a bit and get in some free and easy exercise. I was on the phone having a lively discussion about someone who had hurt the person I was speaking with quite bad. Let’s call the person I was speaking with Sasha and the person who hurt her Adolf (because he acts as if he is a Natzi sometimes). Adolf was a very religious guy, always talked about wanting to please God and all that comes with it. He’d be the type to ask if you’d like to pray before making a decision like what to buy at the grocery store. Some would say he is “Too Holy.” He can quote scriptures out of context and only listens to “Christian” music. He doesn’t like cursing or alcohol and thinks everyone should feel and think the same way he does. As religious as he is, or thinks he is, he has caused much heartache to Sasha. I was speaking to Sasha and telling her that his religion means nothing if he is a nasty person. I was talking about how so many people separate what is tangible (here and now) from what they would say is spiritual and how that separation causes great pain in the world. Apparently my conversation was being overheard. I’m not a paranoid person and never do I think what I have to say is so important that strangers would listen in. I noticed a group of people walking in close proximity to me as I was walking around a certain store. To test my theory of being followed and my conversation listened to I continued my conversation and began to walk to another store. This group followed as I projected. I reach this shoe store and decide to let Sasha go. As soon as I hang up this guy, the adult in the group of teens asks how I am. I knew it! They were following me. He told me he was on a mission trip and was just walking around telling people that God loved them as they felt led. He said that he felt led to have a conversation with me and wanted to let me know God loved me. I told him I appreciated it. He asked what my story was and I began to tell him how I started a church and went to Bible College. His reaction to this was surprising; he asks if I had any words for his group of teens. “Don’t suck.”

This was met with some nervous laughter and smiles. I began to unpack that a bit as we stood outside of the shoe store where my thoughts of being followed were confirmed and it went something like this: Having faith and studying God and the Bible is important and a great thing. Wanting people to know God loves them unconditionally is also a great thing. You are teenagers and should have fun, don’t let all this stuff suck the life out of you. I’m not saying go out and be irresponsible or destructive, but live life, it is what it was given to us for. Studying your Bible and knowing your stuff about God doesn’t mean anything if you’re not a nice person. If people think you are harsh and not nice then I’d say you’re missing the entire message of Jesus. Instead of doing or not doing because you were told to do or not do, think about why you want to do or not do. Instead of not slapping someone because it is wrong, think of why you want to slap them and address that. Your faith is only as good as you are to others. Don’t suck; don’t be harsh and not fun. If people see you are kind and live a great life that is when your faith comes to life.

I hope this message stuck with the teens more than running into a tattooed ex-religious guy. "Don’t suck" are words I think we all should hear more often. Enjoy life. Be kind to others. Love your family well. Be generous and grateful. If your faith gets in the way of these simple things, then I’d say your faith is twisted in a way. You should smile more than you frown. Laugh more than you cry. If your faith makes you a somber and boring person than that faith isn’t what anyone will desire. Faith is not oppressive, it is liberating. Don’t suck. Allow your faith to be something that brings life into the world, not sucks it out.

Do Work!

2011-08-08T10:12:00.001-04:00

I've busted quite the moves on a hardwood floor in my day. I’ve played with professional and non-professional athletes. Not because I was professional, I just happened to be in the same gym as them and ended up in a game or two. I have been very disappointed in some of my experiences actually. Why? Well, when one thinks of a professional athlete we automatically assume they will be the most and best at everything; tallest, strongest, quickest, etc. I’ve seen some guys that leave me scratching my skull and asking myself, “How is he a pro-guy?” Conversely, I’ve played with non-professional guys who leave me speechless as I watch them dominate a gym full of men like they were playing amongst boys. “Why are they not pros?” Where is the disconnect? It can’t be all about talent if the most talented aren’t always pros. What separates a professional athlete from a pick-up-ball guy? I don’t think it is skill, good genetics and athleticism alone. This same parallel can easily be drawn into the professional business world. It isn’t always the smartest and most obedient. The shiniest degree doesn’t always sit atop the ladder. Why not? I’m sure there are more factors or characteristics than I’ll list but the first 4 that come to my mind are discipline, having a network, being a hard worker, and having proper perspective. These factors are what separate an entrepreneur from a secretary, a professional athlete from a sweaty guy dreaming somewhere in Indiana.

In our current economy I cannot count on all my fingers and toes how many people I have spoken with who want a job or a new job and don’t understand why nothing is happening. My first response to them is always, “Well, tell me what you are doing.” The answers always frustrate and disappoint, “I’m online all day looking for jobs, I submit my resume so many times a day, I make sure I have keywords on my cover letter, etc.” Here’s the reality of our market place, everyone knows how to make a resume, everyone can access Linkedin and other social media sites, everyone has a degree from somewhere, everyone submits their resume online and everyone knows the secret of using keywords on your cover letter to get past the automated resume-sorter thingy companies use. On paper there is not much that separates many people from the pack. By following the path of least resistance many waste away their days lamenting on how or why this is so hard for them while others, those who follow simple principle fly by them taking jobs they desperately want and need. I give advice to people I get into conversations with time and time again about doing something and trailblazing new paths for careers. Hopefully what follows can help you, wherever you may be.

Again, these simple factors are the first four that come to mind when I think of what separates professional athletes from pick-up-ball guys and what separated successful business people from those who hate their jobs and excel at mediocrity; discipline, network, hard work, and perspective.

Discipline

Professional athletes spend countless hours in the gym working on their game. They have strict diets, strict schedules, and painful workout regimes. They have schedules for their off-season that they actually help set and stick to. They set goals and follow plans. In a saturated market with loads and loads of unemployed people, you must have a plan and some sort of personal goals in order to make it. Just submitting resumes online is a very passive way to go about things. You are leaving your career and well-being up to chance and someone else’s power. Fat chance your resume stands out, the reality is that it is just another piece of paper in the huge stack sitting on some poor guy’s desk. Come up with a plan and set yourself some goals. I don’t know what is doable for you, but make them challenging. If you always reach your goal with little sweat then I’d say you are not challenging yourself enough.

Network

“It’s not about what you know as much as it is who you know.” I bet you’ve probably heard that before. Maybe it has received the response of rolling eyes or cynicism, but regardless, it is fact. It is great to know something, but unless you know the right person to put that knowledge of said something to work, you are just a self-proclaimed knower of that something. Submitting resumes online doesn’t get you to know anyone. How do you go about networking in an electronic environment then? Change the environment, realize that it is about whom you know and go get to know people. Email random companies and random professionals and ask them to just get together and ask about their industry or line of work. People love to talk about themselves and what they do; take advantage of that. You’re not going door to door asking to hand print a job application, those days are far gone, and employers are probably annoyed with people who think they will not comply with the system. Instead of going looking for handouts, go meet people looking to learn, looking to just get into a good enough conversation where you will be at the front of that person’s mind. Maybe nothing comes out of 99% of the meetings you have, but that still leaves 1%, which is a huge margin of victory against someone who isn’t doing something similar. Networking is a much underappreciated art, but one that would behoove you to take up.

Hard Work

Once you have some kind of plan in place and goal set, look yourself in the mirror and convince yourself that you will work harder than the next guy. If it truly is a level playing field, than you must tip the scales to your end. Another tool of the trade besides networking would be education and hard work. Read more than the next guy, know more than the next guy, and work harder than the next guy. If the goal is 10 widgets put out 50. If everyone stops at ½ mile run 2 more. Make yourself stand out above everyone else by working harder. That kind of hard work ethic is one that cannot be taught. Employers look for this over knowledge of an industry. Anyone can learn something, but hard work cannot be taught to even the most knowledgeable of folks. Work harder than everyone else. This is how a mediocre player makes it out of college into the pros. He works harder and is not passive, he doesn’t rely on his skill to just get him there, and he understands he must beat out all the competition to make it.

Perspective

Passive and entitled are two adjectives I think describe a large majority of us. I was and once I realized I fit that bill I aggressively looked to change it. My perspective completely changed. Instead of thinking, "I have a college degree and graduated Magna Cum Laude and that I am really good at what I do," I decided that doesn’t matter. I don’t deserve anything over the next guy. I’m not entitled to work; I have only had the opportunity. No one owes me a job because I went to school and have been a good worker for years. Back to the basketball parallel, the best players in the world are always in the gym looking for ways to improve. What is significant about this is that they are at the top and still see areas to improve. They have great perspective when it comes to not being the best or deserving certain things. They know they have to continually improve and keep that perspective to keep being at the top. Being grateful and humble goes a long way, but this is a perspective on things you must choose to have, which is difficult. You must see your experiences, negative or not, as opportunities to learn and grow instead of inconveniences.

I used to watch a show about a skater and his body guard on a popular television network. My favorite saying was “Do work son!” That is what the body guard would say to the skater when he was doing his thing. In remembrance of this great show, and in reflection of doing and being well in this professional world, I say to you friend, “Do Work Son!”

Pro Choice

2011-08-08T08:57:00.000-04:00

I bet you already think this is going to be some ignorant rant about abortion, don’t you? It’s not; you can breathe a sigh of relief now. I am pro-choice when it comes to handling frustrations in the work place. We all have a choice daily. Before we finish our first cup of coffee or even place our feet on the ground, it is our choice on how we deal with the day. Some people choose wisely, others choose poorly, and their choices reverberate into their lives like a ripple in the water. What choice you make has a direct impact on your quality of life and work.

It’s 7:00am when I arrive to my office. I’m still in the process of finishing off my frothy latte and getting my eyes to adjust to the world after being shut for 7 hours. It’s a Friday and it’s early, things should be tranquil with promising potential. "Should be" is key here because the shrill of bad choices nearly causes me to run back home, crawl back into bed, and cover my head with a pillow. Complaints of how things should be and why things are not and on and on deflated any sense of being bright eyed and bushy tailed I had. I heard a gentlemen once say something in a passing conversation that has stuck with me all these years, “Accept and adapt.” We were having a conversation about some big changes that had just went down within his department. He wasn’t in harmony with the choir of complaints the rest of his department had, he was different. He made other choices. The choices are pretty simple; 1. Accept reality and adapt to it or 2. Kick and scream about things you can’t change and become miserable.

It takes so much effort and time to complain, doesn’t it? While it’s unrealistic to think we all won’t complain at some point, we can all fall into the easy trap of complaining. Complaining is really just a lazy way out of being active. It’s the most passive-aggressive thing a professional can do. A process is wrong or broken so complaints naturally follow. Are these complaints making an impact? Are they changing the process or improving it? Are you willing to do something about it or does it make you feel good to just complain? I met a pal at my favorite little place in Indy and I was a little early. As I sat outside on the patio sipping the nectar of heaven I couldn’t help but overhear conversations. It was a little after 5 so most were coming to unwind and their conversations were all about work, complaining about things, processes, bosses, etc. I just wondered silently to myself what these people were doing to change what they complain about. Were they willing to do anything or were they just only happy being miserable? Why would they allow all these external factors that they cannot control to impact them in such a way that they aren’t even enjoying the beer that sits in front of them after the work day is over. Maybe they don’t realize they actually have a choice in the matter. It is a gift to have choice. We are not people with no will or choice, we are individuals free to choose how we react to our days.

It all reduces down to the simple principle that we can only control ourselves and how we react to external factors that we cannot control. The choice is yours, take control of yourself or go mad trying to control others. I’m pro-choice, I have a choice every day and that choice is one of how I allow elements outside of myself to impact me. In a professional world, control seems to be what everyone is fighting for, but ultimately the more your fight for control over anything outside of yourself the less you will have.

Feedback

2011-07-28T10:54:00.000-04:00

It’s the loud screeching noise you hear when someone is trying to talk to you over an old CB radio. Or even better, it’s the earth shaking squeal that comes from the monitors as an amateur artist attempts to belt out their favorite tune. How embarrassing it must be when you are warming up your vocals and the sound guy just can’t get it right so your audience is blessed with the ever so annoying sound of feedback. It’s an awful noise, one that leaves people yearning to slam their heads into a wall somewhere. Feedback is no fun. Feedback is the product of insufficient work. Feedback is also a reality of work. As professionals in a company we are given feedback and we have mid-year and end-of-year performance reviews. Each company does it differently, but all companies have some kind of system. And like the nasty noise that causes masses to shrivel in pain, this feedback is awful as well.

Feedback and sharing opportunities for someone to grow are not in and of themselves bad. People need to learn where areas of opportunity exist and address them accordingly. This is a universal understanding, yet, the method in which businesses go about this put a rather ugly scowl on my otherwise beautiful face. Recently I had a conversation with a teary-eyed woman minutes after her performance meeting with her manager. She is one of the most giving people I know, she’d do anything for anyone. She is all about making things convenient for others. This carries into her work very well. She is not analytical though, nor is she one to call people out for not knowing something they had been given training on previously. Parts of her goals include these things that she isn’t best at. I looked into her red eyes and saw discouragement and personal hurt. She took her meeting and performance review personally, as should any good employee. She lamented at how her manager only talked about things she was not good at or things she needed to improve on. She was discouraged because none of the things she had improved on or even done above and beyond her responsibilities were recognized. She was not praised for her good, but only reprimanded for her opportunities for improvement.

I’m 5’10” and weigh a good 180lbs. I’m faster than anyone my age or older at any time on the basketball court. I am stronger than most my height, too. It makes no sense for a coach to come in and really work on my post moves and talk to me about defensive rebounds. Because I’m quick, as soon as a shot goes up I take off to the other end of the floor for an easy outlet pass and bucket; works like magic every time. If the coach wanted me to work on my post moves because he wanted me to play center and really develop my area of weakness, post moves, it’d be a waste of time. I’m not going to be good as a center, that’s not my strength, my strength is being strong and fast, taking it at people in the paint and drawing fouls. For those of you sports enthusiasts this makes perfect sense. The parallel here with my sad, sad friend is that focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses is the best way to improve production in any business.

If you have someone who is good at A and bad at B, don’t try to make them good at B, it takes away their time and effort from A. So as B’s quality raises A’s drops and what you get is a mediocre all-around employee. Why not focus on the strength instead of the weakness? Pair someone who is strong in B and weak in A with the other person and let them both thrive at their strength and complement one another in weak areas. Employers spend so much time trying to make people better at things they are naturally not good at instead of focusing on what they are good at. Companies would have more effective and satisfied employees if they weren’t oppressed by their weaknesses but rather applauded for their strengths. If someone is good at wood chucking, like our wood chuck friends, let them chuck wood, as much as a wood chuck would chuck wood. Focusing on positives gains more respect and response from people anyway, and that carries into employees. Feedback hurts the ears and morale, say no to bad feedback and say yes to empowering employees, then sit back, relax, and watch your company thrive.

Dear Mr. Stern (not Howard)

2011-07-27T09:20:00.000-04:00

9% of professional athletes (football) remain millionaires after 5 years of retirement. This is the figure I was told. I am sure it is close, if not accurate, and many other professional sports athletes fall in line with this figure. There was a NBA player that made millions playing a game. Yes, not inventing something, or curing some complex social dilemma, but playing a game. He is now bankrupt. Over the span of less than 15 years he made several millions and is now bankrupt. This means he was spending more money than he made, much like our nation currently, but that’s another conversation, and declared he couldn’t pay his debts any longer. This is an all too familiar story. I’ve often thought of writing Mr. Stern a letter giving him my 2 cents on how to boost his revenue while also making college basketball worth getting yourself attached to. I think I’ll get some of these thoughts out here and now, maybe you’ll see them on ESPN soon.

I think the above-mentioned unfortunate circumstances are only symptoms of a greater disease deep within our culture, especially and most specifically affecting those of lower socio-economic status. For the sake of story let’s go with the name of Melchizedek, random name, yes, but one that has stained itself into my cerebral cortex. Hopefully this story will brand itself to that wrinkly muscle in your head because of such an absurd name. For the purpose of my wrists and fingers not callousing over we shall refer to Melchizedek henceforth as M. M was born in the inner city of a major metropolitan. The inner city struggles and growing up fatherless put M in an interesting situation, M has never been taught about masculinity, respect, or values. M values what he sees and hears in his environment. M values money because he sees people with money get set free. M has several options here, sell drugs, steal, drop out of school and work full time, etc to make this money. M happens to be gifted as an athlete, he jumps like he’s part of one of those crazy animal planet/discovery specials on gazelles you see on TV. M has great hand eye coordination and is naturally quick witted. Someone puts an orange leather sphere in his hands early on and M spends his time practicing and playing basketball from the time he is a child to when he grows into his adolescent years. Some smart coach sees M playing one day and pulls over to talk to him. They chat for a while and M begins playing for his school and embarrassing anyone who gets in his way on that hardwood floor. Good for M! Go M Go! The coach is a paid professional; he makes money being a basketball coach if he proves he is successful. The measures of this success are quantified with victory and wins. M is horrible at Math and his grades are slipping. Coach talks to M’s math teacher and begs him to go easy on him, for the sake of the school’s basketball program. Teacher concedes and lets M coast. M helps Coach win a state championship 3 out of his 4 years in high school. Colleges like M and offer him a full ride scholarship to their nice fancy school. This school is prestigious for its basketball program and winning is what is important. M is allowed to coast through his first year of college. M does so well in college he is nationally ranked and projected to be drafted into the NBA. M is 18 and played one year of college basketball. M’s dreams come true and are a success story, a flower coming out of concrete, one of the inner city boys that made it out. M is a millionaire.

Remember M and his math problems? He has no clue how to handle this amount of money. He is not prepared to handle this much public scrutiny and attention. He was never taught about handling himself in public, with media in your face. M blows his money quickly and still hangs around the wrong guys, the ones who will influence him and use him. M gets into a lot of trouble and builds quite the reputation for himself in spite of his freakish athleticism and God-given talent. M is no longer wanted. M is bankrupt. This story seems to play itself out a lot. This story of M has quite a few holes in it though, did you catch them? Where was his education? Can you blame him for not knowing how to handle millions as an uneducated kid? Where was his accountability? Can you blame him for being arrogant and thinking he is invincible? The system failed M. The system is never looked at though.

Mr. Stern, I’d propose to you a new system, one in which you help young men, college athletics, professional sports, and your and my beloved NBA. I say set in place a degree, an associate’s degree at the very least, for those young people who will go professional. I would implement this to be a two year degree for several reasons. It still allows a young athletic kid to come into his respective sport and dominate accordingly, while entertaining the masses with his mythical gifts. It allows players to play for a college for more than one year. College has no consistency in sports, one and done has killed any sort of following for a team, outside of alumni following. In this degree require courses on financial responsibility, public relations, public speaking, general psychology, anatomy, physical therapy, and some kind of course that would teach universal discipline and responsibility. Assign each rookie a mentor, who would be a retired or currently mature player. You can still have your young stud that will turn a franchise around, but you can benefit from this young stud not embarrassing your league or professional sports all together. Not only do you benefit yourself, but you benefit guys like poor M. M would learn how to manage the life of a professional athlete before it overwhelmed him. M could retire and use his influence as a professional athlete to inspire kids to not drop out of school and the importance of a well-rounded education. M could possibly change the face of children from similar socio-economic circumstances.

I say change the system of professional athletics and the road to getting there. I think changes like this last longer than treating media outbreaks or other embarrassing outbursts as they inevitably happen.

A Great Deception

2011-07-21T14:06:00.000-04:00

I had lunch with a friend today and we got on the topic of work and how he is not really happy or fulfilled in his current job. He began to talk about schooling and things he needed to add to himself to become something. I read on a social media website recently someone lamenting on how he is trying to become like salt of the earth. This is in reference to Jesus teaching some Jewish folks that they are the salt of the earth back in the day. Did you catch the quick switch in auxiliary verbs there? Are and be got switched a bit. Jesus doesn’t tell these Jewish folk that they should be the salt of the earth or that they need to learn to be or try to be the salt of the earth, he simply says, “You are the salt of the earth (Matt 5:13).” I read a quote from a very wise psychologist recently, “You already have everything you need to be everything that you need to be (Dr. Greg Sipes).” There is a common theme in all three story lines here. I am fascinated with multiple story lines sharing a common theme and seeing humanity united by them. My favorite movie is Crash because of this. The mutual refrain shared here is the general idea that one is created and made and exists with all he or she needs. Life is less about learning to add and more learning to subtract and accept who you are rather than try to mold yourself into something you are not.

Now, obviously, this is not to throw out education at all. Education is of utmost importance. It is just how you focus those educational ventures and changing the way you think about learning that matters most. The content of what we learn must change. I once met a very wise man who said something that several years later I am still thinking about. I hear “new” and “cutting edge” authors or speakers say things that I remember this man saying years ago. He is a small man, standing no taller than 5’ on a good day. Don’t let the size fool you though, his wisdom far exceeds his stature. He said that when Adam was in the garden (referring to the biblical account of creation) and was hiding from God because he was naked, that God never once actually inquired about his nudity, rather, he inquired as to who told him he was nude in the first place. There are a ton of implications that impact your larger perspective and theology on life that could make that little thought a series of writings, but the point I’ll focus on is that he implies that maybe he was deceived into thinking he was nude, deceived into thinking he wasn’t what he should be or even worse, he was something he wasn’t meant to be. Maybe that has been the curse form the beginning? The curse of not believing in ourselves and how we were created. I stopped myself short of turning the radio station yesterday because I was tired of hearing a familiar melody. I decided to listen to the song and see what it was about. I’ll go ahead and expect your judgment on this one, I’ll anticipate you making a funny face and thinking me to be odd. Lady Gaga’s Born This Way was the jam that enticed me. Even as crazy and strung out as she is, she may be onto the truth, affirming people for how they were created. If you can bare sticking with me after my Lady Gaga parallel please continue reading.

Glad you made it in spite of me and Gaga. We are taught things as children because our brain is developing and we must learn to harness these advances in our development. As a grown up, after all that education and learning we find ourselves in interesting positions. We continue our education into what we think we believe we should and end up taking jobs that just fit our education or experience. Years down the road we become restless and we are taught our restlessness is wrong or immature. At a certain point I would say doubt and such is unhealthy and not helpful, but until you reach a point of educating yourself on, well, yourself enough to be confident and sure then restlessness is an itch that must be scratched. I’ve had that itch lately and have scratched it. I’ve been meeting with a career counselor and uncovering what and who I am; this includes what profession I (my personality and natural abilities) best fit in. This has been groundbreaking for me, groundbreaking because it is more confirming than novel. I am learning that I am exactly who I thought I was long ago, but just never developed those strengths enough to realize it. I now have all this other baggage I’ve picked UP along the way I need to shed in order to become the lean machine I should be. Once I’ve shed all this, or unlearned these habits, I can develop the natural strength that is already there.

I give the advice to reach out to my career counselor to my friend today at lunch. I tell him he needs to get himself torn down to what he is so he can develop that. I told him his natural strengths and abilities if developed properly would set him apart from everyone and make him a unique treasure in a droid filled marketplace. We all went to college, we’ve all had jobs, we’ve all learned how to use social networking and make our resumes pretty. What sets us apart though? What sets apart is our unique individuality. We are not taught to be unique though, we are taught to conform and to fit. You see what good that has done us right? I know more people that are unhappy in their job than are satisfied. It can’t be because the companies they work for are run by the devil and they are forced to watch reruns of Glitter (that awful movie with Mariah Carey). It is because they are in the wrong place doing the wrong thing. They are filling the space of someone out there who would fit perfectly into that little job. The deception in the professional work force at the very least (maybe even in the world holistically, depending on your world view) is that you need to learn to fit into something rather than finding something you were made for. Instead of learning to mold a square into a circle just to fit through that whole we should just find a circle shaped hole that we fit in. This may take time and education and painfully restless nights, but wouldn’t it be well worth all of that to find something you at your core enjoyed?

If the professional world were filled with more people who were confident and doing what they were made to do, our businesses would be healthier, our employees would be happier, and our marketplace all together would be shining in spite of a gloomy economy.

Thank You (Justin?)

2011-07-21T12:19:00.000-04:00

A scholarly gentleman in his fifties opens up a birthday card only to hear Hannah Montana tunes blast out. The inside reads, “You rock little girl! Happy 13th birthday!” This is quite an odd card to receive from his daughter and son-in-law on his fifty-something birthday right? Well, maybe not. It’s interesting how your own little quirks catch on and influence your spouse over time. I’ve always gone down the random path of giving greeting cards. Now my wife and I always give out random cards to people on occasions.

Maybe I have been emotionally and mentally scarred by my experiences at greeting card stores with my mom as a little boy. We’d spend what seemed like years standing under the glow of florescent lighting on those ultra-shiny floors. My mom would sort through card after card after card looking for one that said exactly or at least painfully close to what she intended. Her sentiments were great and always have been, she always wants to say the right thing to make the person feel special. How unrealistic is it to think that a stranger, who doesn’t know me or my intended audience, is going to write the perfect thing I intend to say though? So why bother picking one out. Why not just make your own or be as random as possible? Just a random little thought I had while trying to pick out a Thank You card yesterday for some guys that were kind enough to meet with me on Tuesday morning. Even the Thank You cards were all wrong and either over the top or just plain cheesy. So I picked one up that said, “Thank You, here’s a piece of folded paper.” Then I wrote a nice little hand written note on the inside expressing my gratitude. With email being so frequent and used by everyone, we are desensitized to its messages. A thank you email doesn’t mean quite as much as a hand written card. It seems to be about the time invested to me. I can now manage my entire life (basically) from my phone so shooting off a short email to someone is convenient, but does it truly receive all my attention as I write it or am I doing it as a robot because it is the nice thing to do?

Doesn’t it mean more if someone in this age of convenience takes the time to sit down and hand scribe a note? For goodness sake our schools are taking away cursive writing and shutting down other programs because of technology and its conveniences. I would think that to go against the grain and do what is inconvenient and not something you frequently come across would carry more weight than an email. It’s kind of like seeing an Ariel Atom 2 fly by while walking downtown. If you don’t know what that is, check it out here. This is a beast of a sports car that is pretty rare to be seen. Because it is an infrequent happening to run across one of these, when you do it is memorable and you tell others about it. That same logic can be applied to thank you cards. It is important to let people you meet with or potential employers, clients, or partners know that you appreciate their time. So when meeting with professionals it would behoove one to be thankful and make yourself register at the front of someone’s mind by going against the grain and doing the infrequent and inconvenient. Setting yourself apart from the pack, in an overly crowded marketplace is about the only way to make a worthwhile impact, otherwise you are just another piece of paper. Next time you meet with someone be sure to take time and be different. This not only shows them you are appreciative and grateful as a person, but also benefits you by making you more unique than the next guy.

I’m not saying you should send a random Justin Bieber birthday card to a company to make a statement, but maybe I am. It’s all about standing out. Being sure to write thank you notes after meetings could be something that gives you a quick first step on the competition.

Professional Mentors

2011-07-20T21:19:00.001-04:00

I met with a gentleman recently to discuss career possibilities. I’ve been on the journey to find what I should do with my life as far as a career for about a month now and trying to reach out to as many people as I can. He tells me that guys his age don’t have a problem giving advice or helping younger guys out at all. Two sides to the coin, one it’s probably an honor to them because someone wants their advice and two young people can learn from others who have gone down paths that they are thinking about. So what stops young men from seeking out help? Pride and a lack of humility, we think we can take on the world ourselves and feel ashamed to admit we need help or have no idea what we are doing. So why is it that we, the next generation business guys, are so afraid to put ourselves out there? Who knows who you’ll meet; why not give it a try?

Is doing so even necessary or beneficial? Do I have to? Well, if you are asking those questions you may be one who enjoys the bright red lights and inhaling dust, because you are likely to be left behind the pack trying to play catch up for the rest of life. For those who want to be front runner, those who want to be successful and cannot stand the thought of having to fit a mold or doing and saying all the right things. For those of us who are tired of all the bureaucratic red-taped filled homogenous culture we are offered, we must seek other paths. If we do not want to be like them, then why let them set our learning curve or training agenda? If it is freedom you seek then the only way that it happens is by revolution. Calm down there sport, I’m not asking you to go all Braveheart on anyone; this is a personal revolution, a revolution against the unfortunate character flaw of our generation. We are a passive group, an entitled group of young folk who have been spoon fed too much. We must awaken from our lethargic ways and change how we think and act. We’ve got to stop being afraid to fail. When I was a firefighter I was taught many things, some quite useful in the corporate world, like being able to break out a window, so you can jump out of it (only kidding). Seriously, I was taught this little mantra, “little risk, little reward, big risk, big reward.” In our professional lives we won’t benefit much from not taking risks. And in this case, taking the risk of reaching out to a business or person that you admire or respect has very few risks, because like my friend said before, most people love the opportunity to impart some of their wisdom to us young bucks.

I say I believe mentoring (in several different capacities) can change the world and I mean it, I truly believe it. The more willing we are to seek out mentors and wisdom from others the more we become teachable and the more we learn. Being teachable is an aspect that we all must be willing to gain. Being teachable will allow more space for success down the road also. We have so much to gain from others experiences as well. We cannot realistically expect to experience so much or even the same as any other individuals in our culture or business. Humans learn by experience and unless you are independently wealthy and can go experience the world as a hobby, we need to leverage others' experience for ourselves by diving into that wealth out there. The more we seek mentoring they more we will be willing to mentor the next generation because of how it impacted us. This is not only about us as you can see, it is about the ones coming next. Mentoring can be a game changer, the question is are you willing to allow it to. Are you ready for change?

Globalization

2011-07-15T08:44:00.000-04:00

I’m reading a buddy of mine’s blog and he begins to discuss something that reminds me of many conversations I’ve had with many different people about our country and its future within the global marketplace. There are several things that need to be unloaded before we begin to dive any deeper. First of all, what is globalization? Why is it happening? What implications does it have for me personally, and you? Globalization is the increasing unification of the world’s economic order through reduction of international barriers, or so says the all-knowing Wikipedia. What that means in a nutshell is that the world is growing and no longer do the people that help it spin well find themselves in a small region or country or even continent. The largest evidence of globalization’s affects can be seen in a short video taking the viewer on a tour of some of Detroit’s bad areas of towns. These bad areas have been negatively impacted by the global marketplace. Detroit used to be a bustling city. The largest market there, and in Michigan in general, was the auto industry. Michigan continues to have one of the worst economies in the States right now because of the auto industry fall out. After watching the video and reflecting on the state of Detroit one must ask, how did this happen? How did things get so bad? Well, the auto industry was something we had and were good at. We had men and women who screwed widgets to zigzags with high school educations getting paid 60 or 70 thousand dollars a year. At the time, it was a testament to the American Spirit to rise above things like education or lack thereof. Somewhere over the pond where life is not as nice as it is here in America, someone figured out they could build cars too. They could build cars and hire employees to connect zigzags and widgets all day for $8,000 a year. That worker was so happy and motivated to get this job that they busted their butts and filled their brows with sweat to excel and be efficient at what they do. That very same work ethic carried into the machine shops where these parts were made, so the cost of parts went down. This strong work ethic and appreciation for opportunity caused these products and work to be done efficiently and ultimately produce a very reliable product. The overhead on this overseas business is much lower than its American counterpart. Companies began to realize this and ship out their services. They could pay less and get more; you really can’t blame them can you? This same story can be applied to many other industries, and if you pay attention, is creeping into some of the most secure, or at least we thought, fields. Companies can now send an x-ray to another part of the world now and get back an analysis at the same rate and possibly even faster and definitely cheaper than they can here. Many many jobs are going overseas and this is a reality my generation especially has to begin thinking about in order to make it.

Instead of chanting U-S-A-U-S-A-U-S-A! and wearing the most gaudy patriotic cloths you can while having passionate discussions of how all these foreigners are taking our jobs, let’s slow down a bit and think this through. Our jobs? The American people seem to have a big problem with entitlement. We are not guaranteed anything, especially someone to pay us money to provide a service. A change in attitude may do us well. Instead of them taking our jobs, maybe we should look at it as the best person, or most qualified candidate gets the job, regardless of international location. If we really think about it, it does make the most sense for any business to get the most efficient and reliable product for the least expensive price. If an employee costs $35,000 a year and we can replace them with a machine that provides the same product or service at a cheaper price to the company than maybe that product itself will be more inexpensive for the consumer. It’s this beautifully simple circle of commerce. Unpatriotic, anti-American, or the throw-back term "communist" are much easier to throw out than to stop and analyze the situation holistically. Ultimately, America cannot operate the way it does now. No one can remain the same without being duplicated. Most times when there is a blueprint laid, someone else comes along and tweaks that design and improves it. The last becomes old and the latest becomes progressive, it is an evolution of sorts for the marketplace.

Maybe you don’t like globalization or you think it’s not right or fair. Well, with all do respect, we need to wake up and accept that it is here to stay and do something to prepare ourselves for today and the future. Have you read Who Moved My Cheese? I’d suggest you do. It is a very short, yet clever, book that talks about dealing with change. We can deal with it and adapt or sit around with our arms crossed thinking how unfair it is. The reality is that those who do not deal with change well will be left in the dust, their jobs will be taken from them, and they will have no one to blame but themselves. The government takes a lot of heat for creating jobs in our poor economy. President Obama blamed technology for making it more difficult than he thought to create jobs (ATM cited as the villain). I say that this responsibility falls on ourselves though, as individuals. We want jobs, right? In China or India a child gets schooled some then pays for it. Because a family is paying for school the children take it seriously and excel. These kids want something better for themselves and their families so they achieve scholarly success. In Indiana right now we have one of the worst school systems in the nation. We are cutting programs left and right. While we shut doors to schools new students are thirsting for education overseas. Professional athletes were able to float through high school just to get a scholarship to a college, to spend a year at and go pro. Now this uneducated person gets paid millions to play a game. No wonder kids don’t have any motivation for school! The media teaches them they can basically just achieve mediocrity and a passing grade just to get through so they can drop out and make millions. Education isn’t that important, money is. Our schools are cutting some of the programs that set people aside and develop the most important part of our brain for the future, our right hemisphere. There is a revolution happening in the marketplace and right-brainers are taking over. It is innovation that wins the bread now. We need educated innovators to excel at something. We need to change. Instead of blaming globalization maybe we should blame ourselves for just accepting what has been given to us. We’re a spoiled people and our good fortune to live in such a great country like America works against us at times because we just accept what appears as greatness comparatively while the rest of the world looks at us as a blueprint and plans on how to improve and progress.

The hope for our generation in this global economy is innovation and change. Are you willing to do the hard work and discover that change, discover the path to success in a global economy? We cannot expect to stay the same and achieve different results, some crazy German called this insanity. May we not be insane, may we be innovative people, may we embrace globalization and learn to thrive within it.

Throw Back Thursday: A Look back at an old Post: Friendship

2011-07-07T10:15:00.000-04:00

A two syllable word has become powerful, mystical, and yet allusive at the same time. A word that can bring color to the fair cheek of a little girl or tears to a grown man has become one tossed around like a hot potato. Life moves so fast that we never stop to question even the words we use, why we use them, and if we understand the implications of them. What is this word? Friend or any form of it, i.e. friendship, friendly, etc. I’ve often asked myself and others if friendship is something based upon circumstances, but recently have been challenged to delve even deeper and further back into this curious word; a word so powerful it can bring about the full gambit of emotions.

Who are your friends? What is it that makes them a friend? What must be done to attain the capacity of friend? These are all valid questions upon the voyage of this discovery.

A friend is someone that you are involved in a relationship with that is intimately connected with you on a platonic level. The intimacy of the relationship truly depends on each parties level of trust and respect within this relationship. What about time investment? Is it a large investment that pays out over the rest of your life, like childhood friends, or continuous investments on a regular basis, like a school friend? Intimacy, frequency, and humility are the key materials it takes to build and understand friendship. Intimacy and frequency can have differing levels at a static practice, but humility is absolutely key. Wait a minute, am I missing something? As much as you may think this question should be posed as open ended, it is, in fact, rhetorical. Most would say that there needs to be a bond, something or someone that bonds them, an experience or some sorts. The core dilemma in that element lies in its uncertainty. Experiences or circumstances change, as well as people and items. Friendship is such a complex thing to deal with because analysis typically is done so externally. Friendship is so complex because it is an attempt to bond two beings that have completely unique characteristics. Maybe friendship will never be understood completely because it ultimately comes down to something spiritual, something beyond our psyche. It comes down to two souls connecting in such a way they become bonded. While I attempt to explore some aspects of friendship I will not offer arrogance and say I have it figured out.

I have had the hardest time with understanding friendship these last 4 years of my life. Growing up in a city where you were born you know all the same people and meet new people through the people you know. I had that rug uncomfortable pulled from beneath my feet in March of 2006 when I decided to move to Indianapolis. I had no connections, thus no connecting points, to even begin with. I had to start with a clean slate. I think this was a painful process, but as I look back, has aided me in my understanding and attitudes towards friendship. I suppose naivety lead me to believe that friendships were based upon a common bond, like school, sports, mutual friends, clubs, or some other tangible factor. External elements always change, we have no control over it as the nature of the world is change. Change is inevitable. Unfortunately for many something as intimate as a friendship is based upon an ever changing element, some external bonding mechanism. This is not to say the mechanism or bonding element is evil or bad in itself. These elements simply help in the process of creating a bond. Circumstantial bonds are relied so heavily upon that in the aftermath of change are broken hearts, relationships, and deep seeded emotional trauma (whether or not we are willing to admit to it). If Mortal Combat were a reality and someone could actually reach through my chest cavity and rip my heart out there would be issues immediately. Beyond even your physical reaction and natural physics and anatomy you would suffer from mental anguish almost as painful. Your mind understands that you need a heart to live, thus crudely ripping it out would result in distress because you are missing something necessary for life. The same is true of friendships. Too many friendships are left in the wastes of our pasts because mentally we believe there is an element, physically, that is necessary. The necessary element is a bond based on circumstances or tangible, inevitably changeable factors. It makes sense then that one would freak when the essential, or so they think, is taken away. “I just wish things could be like they used to be…” At first I thought there was some cruel joke being played on me because everyone of the people I considered friends would say this to me, almost in unison, in pitch, tone, and rhythm. I used to allow this to bother me too. I would analyze myself looking for whatever wrong I had done to change everything. What could I do to get things back to the way they used to be. I quickly learned that my search was pointless and quite empty. I began to ask, “Why would you want things to go back to the way they were?” I am now engaged, growing exponentially in my faith, full of joy, peace, and happiness. I have finished school, advanced professionally, given back to the community, and obtained so many other treasures from pure experience of things changing. Why would I want to give all that back? I can say the same of many of my friends. Why would we want things to go back? If the understanding is our friendship is based upon a certain bond and that bond has changed then it is understandable why we would want to get back. I’d like to challenge the thinking that it is one inert element that creates and sustains friendships. Excepting change and looking at our experience of friendship as the bond rather than the elements that made the bond would lead people to such freedom in the relationships they find themselves in.

Can we even find ourselves in friendships and relationships though? Magically we awake to being surrounded by friends that we just happen to stumble upon…is this reality? Relationships are intentional. Friendships take work. I think there are plenty of acquaintances we can have based upon the frequency in which we see or experience people and circumstances. It takes effort to allow intimacy. This intimacy is what makes a friendship different from a stranger you see frequently in the local coffee shop. Maybe this frequent common bonding element will aid in the beginning of a friendship, but the reality is that it will take work. Frequency cannot be the cornerstone of a friendship. Frequency is inevitably changeable. Any house built upon a shifting foundation will fall, much like a friendship built upon or understood to be built upon irregular happenings. I used to be the single, available, always involved guy at the local church community I help start. I was very frequent in circumstances, in circles, and gatherings. My frequencies lead me and others to believe we were friends. There are two people from that community I still speak to or consider friends. Obviously frequency doesn’t build friendship. However, if the mentality that frequency does is there then it is destined to fail and leave emotions open to pain. “We used to hang out all the time man, are we still friends?” Or even better, the attitude taken that if a person does not have an increased frequency then somehow his friendship is questioned. Frequency cannot and should not determine a friendship.

Seems to me that even these two, frequency and bonding elements, factors are at the forefront of friendships but fail to be sturdy for construction. What is it then that makes friendship? It is an internal element, the one only you and I can monitor or control. We have a sense of control when change occurs within ourselves. The madness that comes from external change does not exist when one changes from within. Friendship is based upon an individual. This appears to be a quirky explanation for a relationship that includes more than one person. Is a person willing to accept another person? Does this connection between souls, unexplainable in nature, warrant a personal response? If the answer is yes then the individual work begins. Effort, respect, and trust are key to friendship and each comes from within an individual. When these changeable elements transform we are left with nothing but ourselves. Within that self there is a decision making process that must be worked through. Will I allow this connection to be lost over things I cannot control or will I control myself and the elements I can in order to see to it that it works? It is easy to kick and scream about frequency and elements changing, but what happens when you realize that those don’t matter anyways? We aren’t involved in the same community any more, so what, what are you going to do about it? I have different priorities, thus different frequencies, what are you going to do about it. Can you reaching and change me? Can you change my personal choices or elements? The answer is no, so why would you allow yourself to become distressed by them? The reality is that friendship takes work, hard work. It would be easy and convenient if all of our friends were based upon like circumstances and frequencies, but then they would not allow for change. Are we willing to allow change in our friendships? If so do these changes just make friendship more difficult or tear away at the very essence of what it is? The answer to this question will reveal who a friend is or is not. If you miss that friend, stop wishing things were the same as they were, stop wishing away change. Make the call, make the effort to keep that connection you so miss. The reality is that this unexplainable connection of beings takes work when things change, which is unavoidable, thus work is also obligatory.

May you be a good friend. May you check your presuppositions about friendships at the door and not allow changeable circumstances to be the foundation you build on. May you reconnect the friendships you miss. May you accept change and work diligently to have friends and healthy friendships.

People Process

2011-07-06T10:51:00.000-04:00

Hi-ya! I harness my inner Mr. Miyagi. Wax on, wax off. I definitely feel worthy of wrapping a bandana around my forehead. I have achieved a belt in karate! Sweet success!

Wait a second, that’s the wrong kind of belt. This wasn’t karate at all. I earned my Lean Six Sigma Green Belt last year. I do still want an actual green karate belt to hang on one of the walls of my office though; a framed certificate just doesn’t have quite the same pizazz as a karate belt. One of the many things I learned in this journey to achieve this certification is focusing on process. That went well with my already deep commitment and confidence in Theory Y management. In the 60s Douglas McGregor developed the X and Y management theory while at MIT School of Management. These theories are the bread and butter in management, organizational behavior, and human resources. At a very high level Theory X says employees are inherently lazy and do not like to work or achieve, Theory Y says employees are inherently good and want to work and achieve. The fusion of my Theory Y and Six Sigma certainties leads me to one conclusion: processes are the problem, not people.

Holding or not holding to this opinion has very large implications. It is the puppet master of how you react professionally. Within an earshot at all times throughout my day you can hear the angry rumblings of people dogging each other. Because we are professionals this is obviously said while on mute or after the call is over, but none the less, still professionals blaming each other. This opens up some dangerous rabbit holes. Having the thought of another person or co-worker as being stupid, lazy, rude, etc. leads one to build walls and create barriers around themselves and take something professional personally. The personal and professional tango so much that at some points you cannot tell one from the other. It causes a constant frustration and a history and opinion to be formed against people. "Jane is this," or "John is that." No matter what they try to accomplish they are marginalized because of who they are, not what they are doing or trying to accomplish. Dead ends are easily reached going down these cognitive paths. Frustrations boil inside and carry into our homes as we personally hold something against someone in a professional environment.

What if we made a switch? Why not poke and prod processes instead of people? By creating and maintaining the discipline of focusing on process we can relieve ourselves of unnecessary malice. We can free ourselves of such frustrations making room for more efficient and positive work. There have been studies done that show happier people live longer, healthier lives. The idea that you can separate work completely from home life is somewhat of a myth. We are given 24 hours in a day. If you are a healthily functioning individual then you spend 8 of this day working, 6-8 sleeping, which leave you about 10-8 hours where you are free and living your personal life. Work makes up 1/3 of your day. Being miserable one third of your day can have a huge impact on the little time that you are not working. You don’t sleep well, which causes you to not live well personally. You are frustrated at work and you bring it home and take it out on your spouse. There are plenty of reasons to shoot for the goal of not being miserable at work. So what makes work so miserable? Frustrations and stress. Each day has its own challenges, it is unrealistic to think you will not have stress or frustrations, however, you can manage the unavoidable frustrations or stress by not taking professional matters personally. If someone calls you requesting something absurd, instead of defaulting to thinking, “They are stupid,” maybe it would be healthier to try to understand why they make this request or to identify a need for training. Looking at someone’s behavior as only a product of their training or processes we can easily help us avoid falling into the personal offense trap. It’s professional, we all have a goal, we are all working towards something. We have different procedures and methods of attaining these goals. We all want to do well. We all want to achieve. The frustrations that come with work should be seen as systematic issues not personal ones. People are not the problem, processes may be. If we can buy into the ideology that people are good and want to achieve success on their own then we can truly change the morale at our work places. If we are positive and not tied into knots over things because we believe it is not the people, but the processes, we can influence the next guy and alter the face of the professional world. We can represent professionalism with a genuine smile instead of a professional smirk.

Conflict Management

2011-07-06T10:25:00.000-04:00

It’s never a good thing when your manager asks to meet with you privately as soon as possible. It’s also never good when your manager walks into a private meeting with a scowl and note pad. It’s never good when they start the conversation with, “there’s no easy way to say this…”

I squirmed around uncomfortably in my chair as I anticipated something awful, something that would ruin my day. It could be anything. Was I getting laid off? Did I make someone upset? Was I failing to meet goals? I waited impatiently as my manager seemed to move and speak in slow motion for some kind of big weight to drop and crush me. As soon as she finished I began to laugh. I laughed a little out of relief, but mostly I laughed at how we arrived here. The story isn’t really all that necessary to tell, but the underlying theme is one that all professionals must wrestle with, conflict management or conflict resolution. Management and resolution are different, because sometimes a conflict cannot be resolved, sometimes you just have to manage it and move forward the best you can. In my professional experience I have seen far too many instances of conflict only being the elephant in the room. Conflict gets swept under the rug as individuals’ true feelings find asylum underneath passive aggressive behavior. Passive aggressive behavior is quite destructive and is an unhealthy response to conflict that at some point will grow to reveal itself. Many old parables speak of agriculture, letting the weeds grow with the crop because as everything grows the weeds will be exposed. The same is true of conflict; it always reveals itself in one form or another.

Is there a way to confront conflict without being “confrontational?” Sure, you don’t want to be that guy who always calls people out and deflates the overall sense of progress in an environment. While that is understandable, confronting something has more to do with the intangible ideology that dictates your actions. These prescriptive thoughts do manipulate movement beyond even the best man-made facades. A fake smile is always fake. Saying, “Have a great day,” when you don’t mean it is never comforting. I had an interesting experience getting my hair cut recently. The girl must have been having a bad day, which is totally acceptable as everyone has a bad day here or there. She was professional, did her job correctly, said all the right things, and even tried to sell me product. The problem was the glaring near explosion she attempted to cover with professional jargon. As the shears ran across the back of my head I hear something that made me want to just jump on out, even half way through a haircut. I’m a guy who really cares about my hair and the precision at which it is cut, so it is unordinary for me to be willing to evacuate a half done job on my dome. “Do you ever get so mad, you just black out?” Thank you ma'am, I have heard enough. Wow, I was a little concerned for my safety. After talking myself into being a decent human and not running at the first sign of instability I decided to stick around, get my hair finished, and have a conversation with this obviously troubled young lady.

“Hello! Welcome to Such and Such!” She didn’t even raise her head to notice someone walked in, she just responded to the bell signifying a new customer. Yes, she said hello, check. “Have a great day!” She rattled this off as she was walking away from her station. She wished someone a nice day, check. I must admit I looked pretty good after braving the storm of the angry lady with sharp scissors. She followed directions and provided what the customer desired, check. She met the steps appropriatley. What was this blacking out in anger thing about though? I was really interested in it. Well, long story short, a girl broke one of her clipper guards. She was so angry she blacked out, which is probably something she could seek counsel on. The poor conflict management allowed this pressure to reside in her that overshadowed all of her professionalism. She did a good job, but was not very nice. The unresolved or mismanaged conflict affected a completely separate circumstance. This internal pressure cooker was showing itself to be a pretty ugly thing. Conflict management or lack thereof, overshadowed her following procedure and even accomplishing a goal.

This leads me back to my conversation with my manager. Apparently someone misunderstood something I said and took it to mean something totally different. So he went to his boss and on up the ladder it escalated. Several business days later, after hours upon hours spent by people with other responsibilities, and all was solved with an email. It is tough in our technologically advanced work place to say something happened based on a misunderstanding because everything is documented. I assured my manager what she was coming to me about was nothing more than a misunderstanding spun out of control, walked back to my desk, and forwarded her two emails. In these two emails it was documented quite clear what was said. Someone read into words, put a tone to it and ran off into the abyss we call corporate passive aggressiveness. There was an obvious conflict, a misunderstanding in words written over an email. This is where the proper understanding and management of conflict would fit in an effort to solve issues and save time. The gentlemen should have just come to me and ask if he misunderstood, maybe even told me my tone came across wrong. Instead of doing that, because confronting someone is so taboo in the work place, he allowed a little seed of misunderstanding to grow into a large issue. This large issue caused countless emails and time invested by managers who have other responsibilities. Instead of confronting the minimal “problem” it grew into something else. We all shared a laugh at the end of the day when all was said and done. But maybe we all laughed out of frustration. Maybe there was a underlying understanding that if the conflict would have been managed correctly in the first place none of this would have happened.

We see this in our work places all the time don’t we? At the core of each blown up problem is really a small misunderstanding or conflict that goes unresolved, grows into something that influences other factors, and becomes something that it is not. How many conflicts do you let grow more than they should. How many times do you pass up a way to professionally confront a conflict or manage it in a way that it doesn’t grow anymore? There is ancient wisdom that prescribes that all anger should be put to rest before sundown. I’ve learned that the longer a conflict is allowed to go unresolved or confronted the worse things get. I think the wisdom behind this old advice is an acknowledgment of this very idea. Letting conflict go unresolved or mismanaged can cause great damage in our personal and professional world. This week or even today, let's focus on embracing conflict management rather than making it a taboo issue that lives in the shadows. Let's change and improve our professional environments by working together to learn to manage conflict better.

Never Look Back

2011-06-29T13:07:00.001-04:00

Continuing the discussion about planning for your career path, I’d like to relay some other amazing information I’ve most recently internalized. The biggest takeaway from my dinner with Greg was something simple yet complex he said at the end of it all. We were leaving and he says to me, “Adam, look at me. Once you do figure out what you want to do, never look back!” Once you make a decision it is imperative to get thick skin and only look forward. This is not to say looking back to your past to learn is not required and wise. Experiences are for learning, there is a lesson to learn in everything you experience in life. Some do choose, however, to take on a different perspective and look at experiences as circumstantial inconveniences. This perspective is the one to avoid as you move forward in life. It is not healthy to look back and wish things were different, that you would have or should have, and play the "What If?" game with yourself.

Simple advice - just move forward and never look back. The common denominator in second guessing, "What If?" scenarios, and the "should have, would have" conundrum is fear. Fear is too often understood as some horror film playing itself out. The kind of fear I am talking about is not someone jumping out of a closet and startling you. This fear is more subtle and understated, which is why it is so prevalent in our society. This fear’s nemesis is acceptance and trust. A seed of doubt is a simple euphemism for this fear. Individuals’ religion or faith are based on this fear at times. There is a predominant theme in our culture to not trust and to doubt. In an academic sense I think this is health, but in a self-reflective environment this is the most destructive thing ever. Some would say that this is the great enemy to humankind, self-deception and thus self-depreciation.

I was part of a team that started a mentoring program in a downtown homeless shelter. For me personally I cannot justify just writing a check and feeling sorry for anyone. I think people deserve interaction and to be treated equally and taught to view themselves in that manner as well. Because of that world view, every Monday night for the past several years I find myself with these kids who are living in the shelter for one reason or another. My heart melts for the younger boys with behavioral issues. As I take a special interest in them I find myself in hallways and rooms talking to them as they have been dealt the 5 or 10 minute “go inside and talk to Adam punishment.” Most recently I was in the hall with a boy who has a bad habit of throwing insidious insults at others and hitting. Of course, he hides his little head under his shirt and begins his epic story of how he didn’t do anything and that we, the adults, are mean. So I begin to ask him questions that attack his logic and playing the part of victim. He continues to hide his head in shame and make excuses. I tell him that life is hard if you don’t accept things and move on. The lesson I’m trying to teach this kid is to accept that you did something, apologize, make some kind of resolution, and move on. I tell him this and he starts to answer my questions honestly about why he was in the hall with me to begin with. I tell him he is a better man for accepting responsibility and responding to it. I follow him as he apologizes to another volunteer for being disrespectful and disobedient and to the child he insulted. He still hung his head low though. He was ashamed of a mistake, probably wishes he wouldn’t have made it. He was paralyzed and sat himself down refusing to have fun. I can imagine he was going over the situation in his little mind over and over again, just making himself feel worse and worse. So I just go over and pick him up and put him in the swing and tell him to hold his head high for he is a good man now. His acceptance of his past makes him that way and he should move on, smile, laugh, and play again. The rest of the evening he almost glowed with joy. Maybe that was the first time someone had told him that once he accepted and took responsibility for his past he could move forward as a better person. I can’t go around picking up people and putting them on swings. Side hugs of affirmation don’t have the same effect on an adult as they do a troubled boy, but maybe this is what we all need.

Now what in the world does this little guy have to do with a dinner with my father-in-law and not looking back? Honestly it’s something I had to reconsider for a second because I found myself caught up in the need for male mentors for boys like this. Trust me; there will be writing about this shortly. Moving forward, the connection really has to do with the idea of accepting things and learning form the past rather than allowing things that are history paralyze one from moving forward. Doubting yourself can have dire consequences both personally and professionally. Professionally, I think what Greg was getting at was that once you make a career path choice to not play the "What If?" game and doubt yourself. Do not allow destructive thoughts like that to throw you off course. 30 years into a career on a bad day, one little, "What if I would have chosen something different?" could derail a career if allowed to reach its full potential. This is said obviously regarding a sound decision made about your career. If you are in a career that you loathe, one that eats your soul, one that has you coveting the janitor’s job, then sure, allow these thoughts to run wild. If you have made a sound decision about your career, based on your personal desires, skills, talents, personality type, and other factors at some point then do not allow these thoughts to bump you off track.

Doubt, fear, second guessing, and "What If? are natural thoughts that will always creep into anyone’s mind. There is no off switch. There is only learning to manage these thoughts. We must learn to dismiss destructive, self-disparaging, thoughts that seek only to undermine the good decisions we have made. If our perspective is one of acceptance rather than fear of being or doing wrong perhaps we will be able to move forward without those thoughts weighing us down. As simple of a statement that, “Never look back,” is it reveals much more about the human psyche. So, once we make a career choice, never look back, never allow doubt to take away from a decision made in a sober state, a responsible choice, dismiss it and keep moving. Without the weight of self-depreciating thoughts you can run through walls professionally. Shake it off and keep moving and never, ever look back. My hope is that this sage advice can impact you the way it has me. May you not doubt and straddle the fence, may you never look back and always move forward. And perhaps even the climate of the professional market will change if it experiences a deluge of confident, informed young people.

Paths and Planning

2011-06-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

“We have a strict no Journey rule here.”

I was running sound for a little band once and we were rolling through sound checks. When it was time for the keys to do their thing he immediately started playing Journey, Don’t Stop Believin’.

Jokingly one of the guys exclaims, “We have a strict no Journey rule here!”

Who would have thought such a song would turn into an anthem for people of all ages. This song bonds a diversity of patrons in any bar in any town on any given night. It has show-choirs practicing their best Steve Perry vocals and unites every teen-aged boy in his bedroom rocking out on his air guitar.

This epic song also has a great message, one that has been turned into a squishy, soft, over-used, and manipulated mantra for many lives. Disney and all sorts of celebrities promise kids that they can become and do anything as long as they can dream it up. Often these sorts of messages set people up for failure. The dream must be realistic, according to the dreamers’ skills, personality, education, etc., but also must not stop with a vision. The reality is that little Tommy who is 5’2” and has horrible hand eye coordination, but loves the game of basketball, will never be in the NBA. He is the type that is set up for failure. Well-meaning people pump these overly optimistic thoughts and encouragements into little Tommy’s head, creating unrealistic expectations. Years later Tommy feels like a failure because he didn’t achieve the dream. This is damaging, this is wrong, so the, “if you can dream it, you can achieve it,” should have an asterisk, an addendum that demands responsible and realistic expectation setting.

I’ve learned over my short life thus far that I have a particular personality type. Myers-Briggs calls it ENTP. I am a visionary. I like to think big, but, interestingly enough, my biggest area of weakness is in the follow-through, the details, the plan. I’m in an odd place in life right now, where I am trying to figure out what exactly I am going to do. I adapt well and can do many things well, so rather than just doing well at a career that I have fallen into, I’m looking to find a career path that I can enjoy at my very essence and excel in because I want to, not just because I can. Instead of waiting for something to come to me I am going to go out and make something happen and use all the tools I can to do something. Luckily I am surrounded by great people and have been meeting with quite a few lately to discuss my future and such. I have met with a fantastic career counselor, Barb Skinner, who has helped me greatly figure out what my personality type is and what I would be best and most happy doing. She has been relentless in her efforts to help me along my way. If you find yourself in a bind, confused about your career, or know someone, I’d highly recommend getting in contact with her. I have also met with my father-in-law, Dr. Greg Sipes, who is a very wise and caring man, and yes, I’d say that even if he weren’t my father-in-law.

Most recently we met for dinner to catch up and one of the many things we discussed was my career and most recent activity in attempting to sort things out and what I wanted out of life. I usually dislike the question about where you see yourself in 10-20 years because I feel inadequate answering it. Most times when I answer this in interviews the interviewer looks at me like I have a monkey on my head and says my answer is too ambiguous. Ambiguity has it place though. No one knows what life is going to deal out in 10 or 20 years, anyone to even claim this is either delusional or outright arrogant. So, no, I don’t know exactly what I will be doing or even want to do in 10-20 years. Responding to a question coming from family I felt a bit more comfortable to be honest and ambiguous.

In 10 to 20 years I’d like to be a great husband, great Dad, someone others model themselves after, making a good living in a job I enjoy with a good work/life balance.

That’s pretty much it for me. Greg accepted that, but gave me some advice and said some things that have resonated with me as things I need to share with others.

The two most important things to me that I want to be in the future are being a good husband and a great father. I’m not talking about just being a husband or father but being one that young men and others will strive to be, one that makes a difference in lives. My wife and I were sitting on our back porch the other night and she was reflecting on how her and her dad would eat breakfast together every Thursday for years and how much that meant to her. I hear that and see how much she respects her dad and that is the kind of thing I’m talking about when I say I want to be a good dad. I want to be the type of husband that inspires girls, that get a chance to hear my wife talk about me, to raise their standards in men. I want to be able to teach young boys about respecting their women and what proper love and marriage looks like. I want to be a great husband. At the end of my life if I can accomplish only two things, these would be it for me. I’m saying this to my father-in-law at dinner and he simply responds with, “Well, Adam, if these are the kinds of things that keep you awake at night and the kind of things you think and dream about, then you will definitely be them. I continued my discussion with him about my career choice and he gave me a similar response, but added a little twist, he said it was all about planning and building credibility.

He begins to tell me about what each decade of life was for from a career stand point.

• 20s are for choosing a path

• 30s are for gaining credibility

• 40s are for using the credibility to set yourself up for the best

• 50s and 60s are to thrive on years of hard work and planning

In bullet points that is basically what he said. You cannot just allow things to happen to you, to fall into a career, you have to make plans. I think it is important to learn from older wiser people because they have had to experience things for themselves and have been through what you will go through. So, no longer is good enough to just choose a job and do it well. What sets one apart is choosing a career path and making a general plan to reach success.

Don’t stop believin’ will not get you to a point of success. Obsessing over a dream cannot make that dream come true. This is not field of dreams that we are talking about, building it and expecting it to come or happen isn’t prudent. Singing it in the middle of your school day in a large Network may get you a popular show (Glee), but ultimately you have to come up with some kind of plan to achieve and build your success. The truth is that if your mind possess a dream or strong desire that meshes well with your natural talents, gifts, personality, etc. then by focusing on that dream and building a plan around it is what makes it happen, not just the thought itself. What keeps me up at night is thinking of being a good provider for a family and being happy with a career. The fact that this is consuming so much of my mental capacity produces evidence that these are things that I will do, but just thinking gets you nowhere, and I’ve learned that you’ve got to seek some sound counsel and make a solid plan to makes things happen. With these wise words I am now gearing myself up to tear apart things until something happens.

Maybe you find yourself in my shoes, no not size 9, classic Sperrys, but my situation. Maybe you are at a place trying to figure out what you’d like to do with your life and need to hear these words, you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with trying to figure things out and being uncomfortable. Don’t stop believin’’, but don’t forget to make a plan. What keeps you up at night? What thoughts fill your mind? Pay attention to all those you are surrounded with and seek advice. Make time for yourself to sit and think about these things and make some kind of a plan. You’ll begin to feel a lot better about things. So keep your head up, keep dreaming, don’t be discouraged, and start planning.

Stand Tall Carmel

2011-06-27T10:46:00.000-04:00

I have vivid memories and frequent reminders, thanks to old friends, of me passionately declaring that I would never live in the suburbs. I was, and still am at heart, a city boy, I like the hustle and bustle, and I like the diverse businesses and people. I love eating at interesting places and enjoying unique art. I thought moving to the suburbs would be an immediate surrender of all I love in exchange for a house and yard. As I’m learning more and more as I grow up, I couldn’t have been farther off base. My wife and I are at a point in life where we are thinking of the future, we value safety, good school systems, and do enjoy low property taxes. All signs pointed north when it was time for us to find a place together after we got married. I felt my inner boy dying as I was torn away from the city-life. Surprisingly, just as I thought my art appreciative, gourmet dining, wine drinking, old self was taking its last breathe, we moved to the Arts and Design District in Carmel. I thought maybe this was one of those mirages you see when you are in the middle of a desert and are water deprived and exhausted. Surely in the heart of what all call Suburbia this couldn’t be a bustling city, full of culture, art, and great food. We moved into a loft above a Butcher Shop in the heart of the Arts and Design District. Now we only buy our meat from this butcher, which is quite a joyous experience in and of itself. We have come to love Carmel, and the Arts and Design District. We are actually having our cake and eating it too! Safety, good schools, low property taxes, homes with character, personable neighbors, established neighborhoods, and an overall great place to start a family have fused with art, the Monon Trail, great food, a world class performing arts center at the Palladium, local shops, art gallery walks, festivals (Carmel Fest, Rock The District, Art Mobilia, Art of Wine, Jazz on the Monon) and as of late a buoyant night life. We already have come to know and love Joe’s Butcher Shop, BUBs, BUBs Café, Mud Bugs, La Mie Emile, Donatello’s, Muldoon’s, Woody’s, and Bazbeaux’s Pizza. These are all worth your drive north, guaranteed good times. Time has passed and change has come, not only to our personal living situation, we’ve since moved into a house in the Arts and Design District, but also within the District, most notably with the additions of Detour and Shiraz.

Detour: An American Grill is this fantastic bar. It has this ornate interior enriched by a claw machine (you know, the one where you go mad trying to get that little teddy bear out of the glass prison it is condemned to), a mass amount of flat televisions, great food, huge beer selection, a trendy bar that has 35,000 pennies on it (you’ve got to see this thing and try to find pennies flipped tails side up), a great staff (courtesy of Moe’s and Sensu’s great management), and even a 32oz. yellow plastic cup you can take home with you and write your name on that they serve their beers specials in. I invited several friends to watch the NBA playoffs and Finals there and we had a great time. We were in Carmel, watching a game, talking about things guys talk about, having a grand time, and yes, it was past 9pm. We now have a place to watch games and meet pals. Carmel has now become a destination for after 9pm while keeping the class it normally boasts.

Next up, Shiraz, my new favorite place. I feel a little guilty this morning as I talk the Monday morning corporate talk. Asking people about their weekends and such knowing my motive for this inquiry is truly only to reveal what has me walking with my chest out and head held a little higher this morning, my experience at Shiraz and what that means for my town. If you were to blindfold someone, take them to Shiraz, and ask them where they were after unveiling their eyes, like what city, they would say something along the lines of New York, Chicago, Portland, Seattle, or another large metropolitan area. To their surprise they are in the heart of the Midwest amongst deep fried Twinkies, corn fields, pork tenderloins, a state fair, and THE mecca of basketball heritage, right in Carmel. White leather chairs surround stainless steel tables, nestled in front of a bar illuminated in purple light. There are two wine machines (Enomatic) at each end of the room, one for white and one for red. You are given what looks like a hotel key card that you fill up with money. You walk up to the machines and read the descriptions of the wines, what they pair well with, and how much it cost for a taste, half glass, or full glass. Once you make your decision you insert your card and press the appropriate button and out pours the nectar of the gods. You go around tasting different wines at your leisure while being treated like royalty by their fine staff. Genuine conversation about the area, food, what you do for a living and so on from the owner (Patti Erlewine) and manager (Mike Farrell) make this not only a neat place to sit and chat, but also one you want to revisit because of how you are made to feel, welcome. The food is top notch and something I have already had several dreams about. They serve appetizers and small, yet fulfilling, foods that leave you in awe of how food can taste so good. After chatting it up with most of the staff, the chef, Ricky, who must have hands gifted by a greater power, tells us about their upstairs lounge area with an immediate invite to go up and see for ourselves. It’s an area they plan on doing private parties and meetings in. It’s an intimate area filled with couches and tables surrounded by their signature white leather chairs and purple illumination. To top off everything for me personally, is that not only do they serve amazing food and wine, but they have a selection opulent desserts and serve nice beers (no Bud Light here). After finishing off an unforgettable experience at yet another local Carmel business we almost skip home in joy, literally, we are within walking distance of all this, which is another thing that makes the District so special, family residents surrounding it.

My smile ran from one cheek to another as I reflected on the amazing night we had at Shiraz for two reasons. 1. Shiraz is simply an amazing place to drink and enjoy light dining. 2. Shiraz is another staple of the Arts and Design District that I can now proudly brag about that separates Carmel a bit more from the other areas. The Arts and Design District is not something easily duplicated. We have reasons for people to head north and challenge their assumptions of Suburbia. So Stand up Carmel, the Arts and Design District is growing and is something to be proud of. And with businesses like Detour and Shiraz hopefully we’ll hear the buzz of life well into the night making this town nuzzled in the Midwest a destination to be desired by all.

Admission

2011-03-15T18:16:00.000-04:00

A rusted screw is lubricated to fit tightly into the corroded oil pan of an old truck. When two things rust, especially two things that should have a bond, there must be a foreign agent introduced to get past the dirt, grime, dust, and rust, a softening blow to the otherwise unbelievably volatile collision of two hardened objects.

Tears are life’s lubricant, bonding agent, in harsh times.

I sat bewildered, overwhelmed, ashamed, angry, and a gambit of other emotions that ranged in diversity as much as a collection of pogs (if you don’t know what those are you missed out on a terribly pointless game of the 90s). Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat at the table with familiar faces of present and past. Anger, resentment, pride, shame, mourning, and humility were all united by an unexpected happening. Moments like these maybe happen only a handful of times in our lives; moments where, for the first time, you are faced with yourself, the unadulterated version that beckons reconciliation, honesty, and progressive thoughts. I sat at a local coffee shop surrounded by strangers as life’s lubrication softened the hard heart I’d been running from for so long.

I once moved to a city across the country, far removed from anything I knew to help start a community of faith, a church. I was full of zeal, but lacking wisdom and knowledge. Inexperienced and quite irresponsible I was quickly placed in leadership and given a voice I never should have had. The tears began to roll down my face as I sat at the table, staring into nothingness, considering the amount of people I had hurt with my pride, arrogance, and foolishness. I had placed the blame on so many for so long, but in that moment that morning I was struck with the reality that no one else had to bear that responsibility but me. No more finger pointing for the runaway boy from Downtown Indianapolis. A tough exterior crumbled beneath the weight of that realism. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I contemplated how many I had hurt. I am long and far removed from those circles of people and communities. The reality of who I am to them lies in my past, the boy I have grown out of, but they don’t know that. I was overwhelmed with the idea of proving myself and how much I had changed to the large amount of people I had hurt in one way or another.

As I confided in a friend about how overwhelmed I was by trying to prove myself and how much I had changed to all the people I hurt there were three words that broke through. Certain words are needed, only particular expressions will break through in moments like these. In my moment 3 words spoke to me on a spiritual level unlike any I had heard before. Something was beautiful about those three words and the discussion to follow on that day. This isn’t your typical love story though. I Love You wasn’t said, although it was in so many more words, in such an abstract way.

“We’re all fucked!”

Said one of the most genuine, humble, godly men I have had the good fortune of spending time with. He continued, “That’s the beauty of the gospel man, we’re all fucked, and it takes care of that for us, we don’t have to prove anything.” This is not to say we don’t take responsibility though, that is mostly the point of this writing.

Hear me clear, may my words infiltrate your mind and soul deeply now: I am so sorry if you have been one of the many victims of my past. My arrogance and lack of knowledge led me to say, do, and not do many things for which I can never go back and change. I accept and fully acknowledge who I have been and who I am becoming. I am a broken man, capable of much good and much evil. I have unfortunately allowed myself to act on much more evil than good in some of my dealings in the past. I ask that in your time you find it in your heart to forgive me and my brokenness. I know I have searched to find the negative, the bad, the flaws in others and in the organization I felt I was hurt by. I am sorry that many of my past writings have been to tear down the church instead of build her up. I was faced with the reality of who I have been that morning. I can be a harsh man, life is rough, and tears were needed to make a much needed bond. Life’s lubricant allowed me to see what I needed to see and hear what I needed to hear.

I realize I’ve been given a gift, a voice that is heard. That day I was told you can do three things with a gift: squander it, use it for good, or use it for evil. I recognize the harm I’ve done with this gift in some writings. The tears have dried, but I have not forgotten that day, it has impacted me, scarred me, and changed me. The future looks a lot brighter after the tears cleared.

If you’ve ever found yourself carrying burdens around, like me, remember, Jesus tells us to throw them on him. He says his yolk is easy and his burden is light. If it feels different than that it may not be Jesus at all. Don’t let guilt and shame hold you down, don’t run from your past, face it, take responsibility, and learn from it. “We’re all fucked!” True statement, as abrasive as it may come across, it is the truth of the gospel, Jesus forgives and offers a new way of life, one where we can live free from feeling like we have to prove anything.

Forward

2011-03-08T19:23:00.000-05:00

This could totally be the muscle relaxers and pain killers talking at this point, so it should be an entertaining and/or enlightening exercise to revisit these words in a couple weeks. On February 20 my wife and I were headed South on a major highway in Michigan. We had just spent the weekend with some close friends at our family’s little get away in Michigan and were headed back home. As we were shutting down and locking up the cottage snow began to fall at a fairly rapid rate. We left as soon as we could because we didn’t want to get snowed in and we figured that the snow would lighten up as we moved further from the lake. We were wrong by all accounts. The roads conditions were precarious at best. We really wanted to get home so we decided to move along being very cautious and driving well below the speed limit, 30 MPH below to be accurate. After about the longest 2 hours of my life I turned to Julia and let out statement in relief, “I never want to do that again.” We were just getting into better road conditions, the ice was gone and it was slush and much more manageable traveling conditions. We made it, or at least we thought. A SUV in front of us went to change lanes, merging left, and must have hit some ice or something that threw them into a complete 360 horror ride. As they barreled to us I tap the brakes to assure they didn’t lock up and cause me to lose control of the vehicle. I checked my mirrors to see if there were other cars coming that I would hit if I swerved into the other lane. I looked over to my wife in the passenger seat, helpless and frightened. There was nothing I could do to avoid what was coming.

It’s been 16 days since that accident. We were fortunate to walk away from it. The car was totaled and we already bought a new vehicle. We walked away flawless, besides minor cuts to my hand and general soreness that’s to be expected after such a crash. If I allow myself to think about it I can still vividly see it all happening in what seemed like slow motion. I could allow myself to dive into the deeper issue of feeling like I could not protect my wife in a time when she needed me, but I push on. I drove to this place where I write now. My back and neck never got any better and just recently got exponentially worse. I have been on muscle relaxers and pain killers for a week now. I couldn’t bare the pain anymore as it was not improving so I went to a doctor and now a chiropractor and masseuse. Days after the crash I didn’t drive. I couldn’t, I was too on edge. Today I drove to this place where I lay words upon paper. I could allow myself to still be frightened by other cars. I could dive deeper into the issue of feeling like I had no control over my own family’s safety, but I push on. So maybe all this is the drugs taking full advantage of my exhausted body after a day of deep tissue massages and countless adjustments.

I listened to a podcast this morning and the general message was simple; you cannot appreciate the present or even have a chance at the future if you continue to live in the past. I can apply this message simply to driving my car. I cannot move forward if fear, pain, or regret from the past weigh me down. I can tangibly see how allowing fear of getting into another accident would hold me back in life. I wouldn’t drive anywhere, I’d sit in my home paralyzed by this fear. I push through and eventually get into the car. I prevail to move forward. While it is easy to understand and apply this to concrete circumstances it gets more abstract and intricate to apply this to conceptual ideologies. Jesus says he wants us to throw our burdens on him, but for some reason it feels good to hold onto them. It gives us a sense of control. If we can control it than we can know when we are in danger of pain and avoid it. Recent events have painted a very clear picture to me, I live in fear and hold onto my burdens. I’ve been hurt and caused much pain, but I allow it to remain hidden and untouched by the very same logic that got me driving again. How does one take concrete methods and apply them to abstract thoughts?

The more we feel we have control the heavier and more burdensome life feels. The longer I carry past hurts around with me the farther I drift from society. Eventually you find yourself sitting alone at home asking yourself, “How did I get here? This is not who I want to be.” Face that fear. Face the pain. White flags must wave in the battle of life in order to move away from fear and pain into love and peace. When we surrender our burdens and face whatever or whoever it is that hurt us we don’t redeem the past. The past is not forgotten, ever, because we must look back to learn. Ultimately allowing yourself to face whatever that thing is that haunts and weighs you down requires you being open to getting hurt again. Love is vulnerable.

I know that everyone moves at different speeds and rhythms of life. I do not prescribe any universal methodology for moving on from the past. The general truth of the matter is this: being vulnerable allows us to love again.

Life has so many things I love and near the top of my list is basketball. I love the sport, the athleticism involved, the rules, and everything else about it. I love playing. I cannot play for about 2-3 weeks and it is going to kill me. The day I step back onto those hardwood floors will be bittersweet though. I will be very cautious and after some time, who knows how long or how many games I’ll have to play, push through and not allow fear of getting hurt and experiencing neck or back pain again and play. Soon I will play with more muscle memory than fear. Moving forward is important in little areas of life, however, not nearly as moving forward in large areas such as relationships in your life. All we can do is control how we interact with this life. May you be faced with your fear and push through and move on. May you allow yourself to be vulnerable. May you not forget the past, but forgive it. May you reconcile your past and walk with your head up into your future.

Hardwood Memoirs

2011-03-01T09:30:00.000-05:00

Several times a week I find myself in a nostalgic reminder of my youth, an athletic sanctuary of sorts. Beautifully waxed hardwood floors glisten as my psyche reverts to days of glory, days when sport was all life was to me. As a child I grew up living across the street from a pretty large outdoor basketball court that was quite popular. During the summers in Florida it stays light outside until almost 10 sometimes. My brother and I would sleep in and after doing some chores laid out by mom, we’d fill up a couple old milk gallons with Kool-aid, grab a sleeve of plastic cups, a basketball, and make our march across the busy street of Merrill Road. Lake Lucina Elementary boated some stiff competition from neighborhood boys in those days. There was nothing more to the joy of life than running on that court with friends all day, letting basketball tire us out until we were forced to reconcile ourselves back to our home just in time for a little dinner before we would go back across the street to play until the sun went down. I’d suppose many childhood memories are like this. As I grew up playing basketball competitively seduced me and captured my attention throughout middle school and high school. I think there is something significant to competition, but see extra merit in the child-like freedom experienced when playing basketball. Many years passed, many moves made, and too many injuries had. I’m 27, married, and live in Carmel Indiana. I find myself in much different circumstances then I was growing up in Jacksonville Florida. One common thread is still basketball. I now find myself several times a week on the same court with the same group of guys, collectively expressing our inner-child.

I once read an article about Facebook personalities. It was interesting and pretty spot on. The article basically profiled a handful of personality types that can be found on Facebook. I think that stereotypes applied to oppress people are inappropriate, but will not go so far as to say some stereotypes are not spot on and actually pretty humorous. This would be the case on the basketball court and I think it beneficial to cover those here and now. I’m sure there are many more than I can think of, but here is a start at the types of guys I’ve experienced where I play currently.

Old School- Old guy, typically wears a lot of braces, fouls no matter what, and may even be the cat rocking goggles.

You can tell he used to be a baller- similar to Old School, but actually contributes, he may be several decades removed from his prime, but watching him play defense and making the right decisions for his team mates convinces you he used to be a baller. He is the guy who will set you a nice screen, always.

Wild Youth- The young gun who has no care for his or anyone else’s safety, typically dives on the floor for loose balls, always in the paint jumping for rebounds, and fearlessly running at full speed up and down the court. You always cringe when he guards you or if he is on your team, when he shoots or goes in for any layup. Age is not a factor, there are old guys who fall into this category too.

Didn’t make it and now is pissed at the world- This guy is actually good, but has a nasty attitude. He is always yelling at people for not making decisions he deems best. He is the one you hate playing with, even though you know he can put up the points. He is critical of everyone else and feels he has personally been called to scrutinize all his team mates. There is a high percentage chance he has a tattoo of a basketball or the Jordan brand logo. He is the only one that doesn’t realize how abrasive he is.

Napoleon- This is the guy you can tell your wife about when you get home. He is the guy that you warn all your friends you bring with you for the first time about. Without even knowing who he is after being on the court for about 2 minutes anyone can point him out. Usually 5’8” and under. He loves to yell at people, much like Didn’t make it and now is pissed at the world, without the skill level. He usually thinks he is the best guy on the floor and says things like, “I could drop 40 on you if I wanted.” He takes himself way too seriously and is oblivious to the reality that he is the laughing stock of the court. People will wait out games to avoid being on his team.

Coach- Guy is always coaching his team mates. No one listens to him, yet he continues to talk. He calls out plays and tells you he wants ball screens and points you to the post. He likes to yell at others also. He is the guy people talk about how much they dislike at the water fountain. Usually he and Napoleon can be one person.

Make it Rain- Typically not a regular, but shows up just enough so everyone knows he is this guy. He is usually the one you avoid passing too because he will throw the ball up from anywhere on the court with no sense of direction. He is notorious for blowing wide open lay ups.

Obviously too good to be playing with us- This is pretty self explanatory. His skill level far exceeds everyone else’s on the court. He is usually a pretty nice guy, but just isn’t fun to play with because he does whatever he wants when he wants and there is nothing you can do about it.

JUCO dreamer- This cat loves to talk about how many years of eligibility he still has and how he is going to a JUCO (junior college) to play so he can get transferred to a D1 school. He is always good and you can often get him mixed up with Obviously too good to be playing with us but the major difference is that he is always talking about where he will play ball. He doesn’t realize it, but the reason he didn’t make it and is still JUCO skipping is his attitude is poor and he doesn’t pass the ball.

Old man in the Corner- No one ever passes him the ball, but religiously he runs the court and spots up in the corner. On the rare occasion that he gets the ball he knocks the shot down perfectly. He plays sound defense and is always a lot stronger than you anticipate him to be, which you find out when he guards you. Nice guy but no one ever passes him the ball.

Foul- This guys always calls foul. If he misses or messes up a pass he will call foul. There is no discussion to be had, he will get his way or spiral into a mess of rage. Just surrender the calls and shake your head. Resistance is futile. He’s not even that good, but he always seems to drive and get to the rack, but can’t finish. No worries though because you fouled him anyways, at least that is what he thinks.

Here are some other links to some types of basketball players you may encounter. These are pretty humorous articles.

http://www.ploomy.com/2008/07/16/the-12-types-of-pickup-basketball-players-what-type-of-basketball-player-are-you/

http://thesportsgeeks.com/2009/11/24/common-pick-up-basketball-players-and-who-to-avoid/#

There is the minority group that really doesn’t’ fit into any of these stereotypes though. These guys range in skill level, but all have something in common, they realize it is just pick up ball. Mistakes are made with smiles, missed shots don’t ruin their day, and they usually gather while waiting for the next game and have conversations. They get to know each other by name, sometimes even go out for drinks. These guys are fun to play with.

The hardwood seems magical sometimes. You take a 40 year old married man who has three kids and is in the professional marketplace and put him out on the court and he transforms into something different. Why is it that when adults get out on this gym floor everyday reasoning goes to the wind? Humiliating others, yelling at strangers, and being an overall repulsive person overshadow what actually might be a nice dude. The game moves to fast to have this logical discussion, tempers flair, and most of the time people walk away frustrated. Maybe you’ve never been called out on the carpet or realized who you may be. Don’t forget it’s just pick up basketball and the reason you are playing it is because you are not a professional basketball player, so relax!