I Am A Feminist

I’ve become a feminist.

I’ve become a feminist and that is sad. Stick with me. It’s sad that I’m a feminist because realizing, acknowledging, and empathizing with a female is a noteworthy event.

I am a white male. I don’t like this statement and reality, but in our socioeconomic culture I am at the top of the food chain. I realize my white privilege and am not too proud to admit and acknowledge the wrongs in the history of such a thing.

My wife and I are trying to conceive. Not in a young and ignorant way of just pulling the goalie (this means discontinuing the use of contraceptives) and thinking conception will occur by simply not using protection. Ignorant is not a bash, but a proper use of the word. Miriam Webster defines ignorance as, “lack of knowledge, education, or awareness.” Most people are not aware of the complex nature of a woman’s body, much less the complex nature of what it takes to conceive and bring a live birth to the breathe a live here on earth.

I play basketball every Friday morning at 5am. Well, most Friday mornings, I do occasionally oversleep and miss it. My lower back was hurting that morning and was in constant pain. I had it in my head that if I was still in pain by that evening I was going to the ER. It was this constant nagging pain that would not go away. I was miserable and anyone within an earshot was very much aware of my discomfort.

I’ve learned about menstrual pain and endometriosis, more so than the average male. I’ve learned so much about conceiving a child and how much the female anatomy has to go through to create and carry life.

The most difficult part of this process for me physically has been masturbating into a cup and bringing it into the office to have analysis done on my semen. I’ve been to 3 appoints this week alone with my wife for a mid-cycle sonogram in order to measure the uterine lining and size of follicles before we know she will ovulate.  If you’re not familiar with a sonogram, it’s a stick put into the vagina for an ultrasound to see all the parts they need to see. 3 times this week the first thing she has done in her day is lay on a sterile table and have someone do this. Then you have the trigger shot injection she gives herself because I am too scared of giving it to her myself. She gives herself a shot so her body will be induce ovulation. If she does not get pregnant, until she reaches a certain age she will have menstrual pains each month for 4-7 days at a time, each month. To do some quick math, most females begin their period around 12 and average age of menopause is 51. 51 less 12 is 39 years. There are 12 months in a year. There are, on average, 30 days in a month. 468 months. Let’s be kind and say average menstrual cramping is only 5 days each month. I had that back pain that I considered going to the hospital for not even an entire day, but my wife will most likely have 2,340 of those days in her life.

Wow right? I play basketball pretty regularly. I played organized ball so I’m very well aware of when I am fouled or some other offense takes place. I’ve called foul before and been called a pussy. The implication of this is that a pussy is feminine and a female is weak. Can you go read the previous several paragraphs again?

Welcome back. Pussy is weak? What? Now, if you look at average pay of women versus men for the same positions and the women’s rights movement, doesn’t all this seem a bit unfair?

I’ve become a feminist and some think it’s great and admirable that I’ve become so aware of these things. That is what is sad to me. It’s like on a 1-10 scale the entire world operates at level 5 and we celebrate when we stop seeing people as 2s and 3s and bring them up to a 5. That isn’t something to celebrate, that should be a given. I think it’s sad we don’t learn more about the female anatomy and sex and child bearing. I think it’s sad I’m considered progressive for this post and many conservatives would view me as liberal right now when I’m literally just figuring out that women have it tougher than us males do.

I’m a feminist and I hope you become one too. I’m happy to discuss anything or answer any questions you may have. May you consider the reality of others and acknowledge the disparity between yourself and them. May you bridge that gap and be more compassionate towards others.

*Of note, my buddy and I now call people little penises when we want to insult them while playing basketball, which always gets a good stare of confusion.