Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Broken Hearts and Love

A broken heart changes a person, it changes their whole world, their whole existence, it changed my outlook on love and life.

I was emailing a friend about love, heartbreak, and how ruined I am when it comes to all of it, and that is what she said. I find this amazing, that casual conversation can reveal such great truth. The inverse of this statement is that love changes everything. Once love is broken or not returned by someone you get a broken heart. That changes everything, a person, their whole world, existence, and outlook on love and life in general. Think about the person or people who you have or do love. If you have ever had your heart broken there is this crazy healing process that you go through and the once you are “over” it you are a completely different person. The way you experience or do not experience their love creates a context or environment from which you will react and think from for the rest of your life or until you come to another point of love that will then change everything that follows. It’s kind of like a connect the dot puzzle. You go from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 to 6 and so on. Maybe you only fall in love once, but that one experience will change you forever, but you may not notice because you will never have another environment of love in which to live and breathe in. If you love hard and do it a couple times, no matter what, you are affected greatly by the first and then once you find the second you are affected by that until you meet 3 and so on. I can evaluate myself and the fears, ideas, emotions, and attitudes toward love I have and track them back to one of the few people I have loved. Now if that person I love breaks my heart or betrays that love then that brings the implications on stronger than just pure love.

Heart break is something strong isn’t it? The reason it is so powerful is because Love is so powerful. In the context of personal relationships, whether it is romantic, family, or friendships, love is something that excites us, it changes us forever right? Not one person who loves can forget the people they have loved. We invest hours of time, pools of tears, and hope on the idea of love. There is a whole market out there, everything from dating books, magazines, online dating, etc. that feeds our insatiable desire to love and be loved. And when we find a companion or friend to love us, we are changed by it. Think about this for a minute let it permeate in your mind. Love is exciting and will change your life.

I don’t think anyone would disagree that love is powerful, I don’t think they’d disagree that love changes everything and thus so does heartbreak. I would say that for anyone to love or be loved they have to make themselves vulnerable to being hurt. We don’t know that people have bad intentions, but the reality is that some do. We don’t know if they will change all of the sudden and shock us with heart break but we still open ourselves up. I think about all the dumb things I did for a girl I loved when I was younger. To this day I still think about her and would be hurt if I heard something bad happened to her. She is doing well for herself, she’s a mom and happily married now. I think about all the dumb things I did for her and to myself just to feel that love. Have you ever done things for love that seem stupid now? We are changed, risk being hurt, and allow others to hurt us all for love. Isn’t it funny that we do this for people who have the ability and sometimes actually the intentions to hurt us, but refuse to do anything or react in any way but mundane towards a perfect person who would never hurt us and never changes? I find it ironic that we’d be happy to risk it all for love by people who change and will hurt, but won’t accept love by someone who won’t do any of the above. If there was a machine that could brand consistency into our companion and get rid of the risk of change we’d probably spend millions.

Forget church, Christianity, religious words, or anything else that makes your skin crawl when it comes to people who talk about God and listen to this…that love you seek so bad is out there. God loves you, no matter what you think or even if you don’t love Him back. God will always love you. So maybe you won’t go to church or say things like sanctified or persevere or saints or ecclesiology, but I pray that maybe you would just consider that there is only one person who would never hurt you and never change on you. That person is God and through Jesus He proved His love ultimately and I’d think that it is foolish for us to seek love so hard with the chance of getting let down by people, but won’t take a look at God who would never do such things. God is Love and wants to heal your pain, He wants you to cry to Him, He wants to hear you ask why? God wants you to know His love and would do anything to get you to feel it and know Him, He even killed His son for you. Maybe you’ll stop reading now and say forget God and Jesus, but even if you do He still loves you, you can’t make God not love you, he does and will always, He just wants you to accept it.

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