Sunday, February 10, 2008

Really?

I stand in the back of a Sunday morning service and think to myself, “Is this it, really?” I question myself and what I do all the time, “Is this it, really?” I question this whole Christian thing, not because I’m sacrilegious or blasphemous, but because sometimes beneath the surface of all we do I long for something more. What is this something though? I am not afraid to admit my doubts, fears, or thoughts, so I will be the first to tell you, I am not fully sold on this church thing, in its current state… I think we need some more examination, I think there is something deeper we are missing.

So then, what is it that is missing? There is this ambiguous, mysterious, anonymity that we always feel, but cannot explain. I think doing is good, the church is supposed to do. I am convinced that doing is secondary to what is that missing factor, the thing we miss, that thing we feel the void of deep in our bones. It is experiencing God. The experience is what we are all longing for. The reason so many college students jump from church to church (outside of spiritual immaturity) is because they are on this desperate journey trying to experience God. I am not in any way condoning basing your walk with God on emotions and whimsical feelings.

The bible teaches that there are certain moments when you pray that you don’t know how to express what you are feeling or going through so the Spirit searches you and intercedes for you. This idea is all too real for me. There have been many nights I have just sat in front of my bible or been listening to a good worship cd and sat with my eyes closed, tears rolling down my cheek, in silence. Not because I was so moved by what I read or what I heard, but because I wanted so bad to express what I felt deep beyond my religious practices. I was missing this experience with God and have been recently looking for this experience again. I think that we are all looking for a way in which we can feel like God is real, beyond reading a book or listening to pastor so and so, but a real feeling that God is surrounding you and that what you are doing matters. So her I am speaking for myself and many in my generation that are sickened by the religious aspect of this Christian thing. The messages are ok, the music can be good, the community service projects can be going, but without a person having an experience with God an ongoing relationship where they can know that at the core of what they are doing is this experience with the Holy God, the Creator of everything, our risen Savior, Jesus Christ. Without an experience with God, a face to face, a real feeling of knowing Him, we just do don’t we. We busy our days up with doing instead of being.

It is in these moments of experience, this life journey of experiences with God that we come to know Him more and by knowing Him more can experience Him all the more. God wants us to be, like Him, be the embodiment if all He is, be kind, be forgiving, be loving, be servants, be good husbands, be worshippers, be followers, be all kind of things before we do anything. There is a song by David Crowder called Do Not Move. It is a powerful song about just being in front of God and not moving. This is an experience. Being before God, knowing Him, then we will move. Moving and doing before we experience, before we just simply are leaves us with this gaping hole and feeling of “is this it, really?” So may you be still, be in His presence, know Him, get back to the core of what you need, to experience and abide (live) in God and as a result do and do well. How can you experience Him more daily, how can you help other experience Him?

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