Thursday, December 13, 2007

Paralysis of Analysis

The pressure brought on by thoughts of future expectations seems to have this freezing affect on me. When I think about what kind of husband I’ll be, what kind of father, what kind of pastor, what kind of church leader, what kind of friend, how will I react if this circumstance goes bad, what happens if I get hurt by this person, why do I think what I am thinking, is there something wrong with me because I don’t like this or is it just purely opinion, what if…. When I think about these things I seem to stop doing and enter this vegetative state of thinking. Welcome to the brain of Adam Sloope, not many like to stay here long because it is a crazy place full of fears, doubts, and questions, things are falling apart, spinning in circles, getting tipped upside down, and just going bananas in general, it’s almost like a weird playhouse at a circus. I overheard someone use this nifty little term the other night and as I heard it my stomach turned and I was immediately identified with my own conscious as someone paralyzed by over analysis. I have hurt people and myself by avoiding relationship because I over analyze things, I have missed great opportunities because of this analyzing, and tend to isolate myself from normal life when I get into these swings of analysis. The reality is that over analyzing things does freeze you up, it paralyzes you!

So I’ve been going through this roller coaster of over analyzing then just doing without a ton of thought for a while now and feel like I’m at a point of resolution and peace right now. I pray I can just stay here for a while and stop thinking so much and just realize that some thoughts are just that, thoughts and require no action. I need to realize I cannot predict what ifs or who I will be or how I will be in the future, so I can only live right now and I must do so with excellence (for Christ) and cannot do that being paralyzed by analyzing everything.

So I pray you can see through the example I lead by over thinking and analyzing that it really does paralyze and just do it (thanks for the great motto Nike!) instead of thinking so much that you don’t have time to do anything.

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