Thursday, November 1, 2007


As usual, I find myself sitting on the circle with a couple friends and Starbucks last night. It was the standard guy friend conversation, the typical guy talk of who could beat who up and talk about our own dating lives or lack there of. It’s funny really how predictable these conversations become. Each time we all hang out there is at least one area of controversy, I tend to be the guy coming from a different angle too, not because I want to be that way but it just seems to happen that way. Last nights area of controversy was about thought life. Basically I was saying that I am plagued by my past and that I have cried myself to sleep at night thinking of the baggage and scars I’m going to drag into my marriage. Basically someone made the comment, “I would never think of that, I’m not that messed up!” On the surface he was right. He’s a gnarly dude, I don’t think he’d ever do anything intentional to hurt his girlfriend. My concern is that he thinks he is not capable of thinking certain things or falling into a certain mentality.

Now I catch the raised eye brows and snarls of detest. Now I look like the guy who is messed up. But am I? I very much believe this thought life and this new self we have is constantly at war with our old self, our flesh. For when we are born of Christ, we are reborn in spirit, not flesh. So our flesh still remains with its original nature. We were born with a sinful nature (Ephesians 2:2). We are accustomed to doing evil, it’s our nature that we cannot change (Jeremiah 13:23). It is only by faith in Christ that we are counted as righteous before a just God (Romans 5). I just think it foolish of any man to say that he is above something, especially sinning. Yes, we have been made a new creation of Christ, Yes, our desires should be His desires, and Yes, we are seeking the kingdom. Proverbs says that along the path of righteousness is immorality. There is always room to fall into sin along the path following Jesus and no one wants to, but the remains that we are capable or doing such because by nature we are sinful.

Paul had this same problem; the internal struggle between good and evil. Paul himself said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do (Romans 7).” If Paul, of all people, could have this problem what makes us think we are any better? I think we get into dangerous territory when we think that we alone are good and forget that we are simply recipients of grace.

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