Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Holy Apathy!

Is that an oxymoron? Can we be apathetic in a holy way? As of recent my dating life has taken a wild turn and after almost a year of singleness and little to no interest in dating I feel I might be ready. With that comes this though. And by this I mean the confusion, hidden messages, frustration, selfishness, etc. Within the last couple of weeks I’ve seen so much of the dating world I have been missing out of the last year that I’ve become apathetic. Within this apathy I have really sought out the Lord for His guidance, because without it I just roam around lost looking for things I shouldn’t. I make the girls at work laugh because when they ask about my dating life I make the action of shaking dust from my feet, dust off my hands, and turn around. I’m over it. And not in a sick, bitter, insecure way, but within the last two days I’m over it, within me…I feel a little bit of resolution actually. So my apathetic response has made me think of the term Holy Apathy. Is it possible to be so focused on God that you become apathetic to things He is drawing you away from? Not to say I’m some holy roller though. I am still the biggest screw up ever, I’m sure. However, because I have become so aloof with the dating scene I have found myself running in to the Word when I start thinking about it. In Matthew Jesus tells the disciples to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you and do not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:33-34). These words have become real to me, they have changed the way I think and as of late, they are exactly what I need.

So I’m done with skirts for now…I’m chasing Christ…Maybe along the way I’ll trip[ and fall and happen to meet “her”, but for now, I’m content with my chase of Christ and feel really good about it.

It’s funny how I was so excited at the possibility of dating three weeks ago, but am now apathetic. Holy Apathy!

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